control freak

Hollie84

Ive been labelled a control freak!
H2B went with the best man to have a look at suits and came back saying they liked the ivory ones,i wasnt convinced and said so and that i think they should stick with grey.anyway i thought about it and had a word with OH as im in ivory,our 2 girls with be in ivory and i think 3 men in ivory would clash,i want to feel like the most beautiful bride on my day and dont want the limelight taken away from my dress.was round some friends and my brother in law called me a control freak for saying this and that he should be able to wear what he wants.then said why dont u wear a black suit,i said id prefer them to be in grey,last time my dad and OH was in black was my grandads funeral not so long ago,its a wedding i dont want black.

Also then because BIL was having a pop at me OH joined in once we got home and said its all me and what i want,he has had say in everything,also said he wants to be more involved,in what! my sister is doing the flowers,MIL the invites there is nothing more for us to do now till after xmas.he apologised later on,i think BIL fuelled the fire and OH feel the need to nit pick.BIL even said are u going to lose weight,think he was joking but it upset me,im a size 10

He seems to think most men are totally involved in the wedding,i think us woman play a bigger part in sorting it all but consult our OH's on things

bride2be2012

oh, big hugs!

1st, I wouldn't pay a bit of attention to BIL. It's none of his business really (unless he is best man, but even then I think the final decision should be down to you and your OH), and as for his comment about loosing weight, I think that is right out of order.

If your OH wants a bigger part to play in things, then let him. I wish my OH would take more of an interest, but as I mentioned on another thread last night that coz my OH is so stressed with work just now he doesn't take much of an interest in wedding stuff - I make all the wee decisions, and run big stuff by him. Perhaps you could give your OH a certain job to do, all on his own, like sort the transport??

Hollie84

bride2be2012 wrote: »

oh, big hugs!

1st, I wouldn't pay a bit of attention to BIL. It's none of his business really (unless he is best man, but even then I think the final decision should be down to you and your OH), and as for his comment about loosing weight, I think that is right out of order.

If your OH wants a bigger part to play in things, then let him. I wish my OH would take more of an interest, but as I mentioned on another thread last night that coz my OH is so stressed with work just now he doesn't take much of an interest in wedding stuff - I make all the wee decisions, and run big stuff by him. Perhaps you could give your OH a certain job to do, all on his own, like sort the transport??

Thank you,we have booked everything,from the church,venue,car,cake.all that needs doing is the suits which wont be till around march/april next year.we have sat together and looked at invite designs and chose them together,the same as the songs for the church and even compiling a little list of songs we want the DJ to play.i think he felt he would kick me whilst i was down.like i say he did apologise.
BIL is not best man,i dont know what was up with him apart from being hungover,he has never been no nasty to me,were actually quite close i even lived with him years ago.i will tell him when i next see him how he made me feel i couldnt say anything sunday as i know i would have burst into tears

74jax

Hollie84 wrote: »

Ive been labelled a control freak!
H2B went with the best man to have a look at suits and came back saying they liked the ivory ones,i wasnt convinced and said so and that i think they should stick with grey.anyway i thought about it and had a word with OH as im in ivory,our 2 girls with be in ivory and i think 3 men in ivory would clash,i want to feel like the most beautiful bride on my day and dont want the limelight taken away from my dress.was round some friends and my brother in law called me a control freak for saying this and that he should be able to wear what he wants.then said why dont u wear a black suit,i said id prefer them to be in grey,last time my dad and OH was in black was my grandads funeral not so long ago,its a wedding i dont want black.

Also then because BIL was having a pop at me OH joined in once we got home and said its all me and what i want,he has had say in everything,also said he wants to be more involved,in what! my sister is doing the flowers,MIL the invites there is nothing more for us to do now till after xmas.he apologised later on,i think BIL fuelled the fire and OH feel the need to nit pick.BIL even said are u going to lose weight,think he was joking but it upset me,im a size 10

He seems to think most men are totally involved in the wedding,i think us woman play a bigger part in sorting it all but consult our OH's on things

I think it depends on the individual. I don't care at all what my H2B wears, as long as he turns up! in fact I half expect him to turn up in a wet-suit!

Maybe if he wants to be involved more, like the other poster has said, you could share the duties and each have control of certain areas? My H2B has totally surprised me by wanting to be involved, and i love it; i thought he wouldnt' be interested at all, but he's been along to view venues and even taken photos and things so that we remember each one.

It;'s lovely that he wants to be involved. It's something for you both that you can spend time together planning both your perfect days.

As for what he wear, I think his outfit, his transport (anything to do with him) is his choice, but that is just my opinion.

PolishBigSpender

Well, you do sound a bit "me, me, me" in your post. You are the bride and everyone has to look at you. Shouldn't it be "everyone has to look at the bride AND groom"?
Your fiance has an equal to yours right to be involved in his own wedding.

PootleFlump_3

I personally wouldnt be telling my OH or his best man etc what they can and cant wear unless he asked for my advice/opinion. He can wear whatever he likes (as long as he looks smart of course) and he has said that he doesnt care if he and his best man even match so Ive just left him to it. Its his day too and the main thing for me is that we all (including the wedding party) feel comfortable with what they are wearing.

RainbowDrops

Why is it ok for the BMs to be in ivory, but not the groomsmen?
Surely it's better to have people looking comfortable in what they're wearing - and why would it detract from the bride anyway?
Without sounding big headed, all eyes are on the bride really.

Spencer_Li

Hollie84 wrote: »

He seems to think most men are totally involved in the wedding,i think us woman play a bigger part in sorting it all but consult our OH's on things

Hi Hollie,

Try and chill out a bit and remember that there are two people in this wedding!

I understand that you're upset (us men can say nasty things at times), but I think your H2B wants to be involved too.

Sounds like you've got it good though. With two of you working on things together it will be a fantastic wedding, the way that both of you want.

Hollie84

He has been involved in every aspect (sp) of the wedding,we have viewed everything together.i just think to much ivory will look ridiculous on pictures,ive my dress was ivory with a brighter colour like bugundy then it would be ok but my dress and BM's are all ivory and i just think it would look to much,of course i want eyes on both of us but i think people wouldnt know where to look if everyone was in ivory,a bit of an eyesore to be honest.

I love the fact he is very hands on with the wedding and all choices have been joint,we agreed grey suits and went to look at them but then when he went with his Best man he came back going on about ivory and his BM thought it would look great and very bling.i dont want bling!

Hollie84

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Well, you do sound a bit "me, me, me" in your post. You are the bride and everyone has to look at you. Shouldn't it be "everyone has to look at the bride AND groom"?
Your fiance has an equal to yours right to be involved in his own wedding.

I never said he wasnt involved,he has been involved in every aspect so far but he can't do flowers (my sister did flower arranging) and his mum makes cards,he is at all crafty so we asked his mum.his choice and it was jointly agreed.im on about the suits,we agreed on grey until his best man went to look with him

tanith

Honestly you should allow your OH to choose what he wears with his groomsmen, you have free rein with yourself and bridesmaids so you really should give him the same freedom to choose what he wants.. no one really cares what anyone is wearing least of all your family and friends so just chill , tell him its his decision and relax and look forwards to the big day.