DreamerHelen's New Diary - "Ad Astra per Aspera"

The_Dragon

Also Helen, as soon as one debt is cleared start using that money to clear the others!

DreamerHelen

Right....I have some news....and this is pretty big....

Mum has paid off my Council Tax on the understanding that I pay her Credit Card Bill EVERY month when it comes in until the Debt is paid off....

I know that means that there will be Interest to pay but it means that the Bailiffs will definitely NOT be at my Door....

I feel so humbled....She has helped me out so much over this last 12 months and I haven't done a thing to repay her....This more than anything is the next kick up the backside that I need....I cannot let her down anymore...and I cannot let myself down anymore....

So, I DO feel relief but I also feel really fired up....I WILL repay her kindness and I WILL Work as much as i need to in order to have a much better Life....I am starting to believe that maybe I DO deserve a better Life....not just the one that I have now...

I DID Work from 4pm until 7pm....and am just taking an hour's break....have spoken to Mum and she is not doing great so I'm a little worried about her but have told her to Phone if she needs me....which I know she will only do if it's a dire emergency....

So I'm going to start Work at 8pm even though I'm tired right now....I AM tired but that's not an excuse for me not to Work...I AM going to Work and going to earn a decent amount of money for a change instead of the measely earnings I have had in the last couple of Weeks and really for the last Year....

Thank you to EVERYONE for your continued Support....I WILL prove that I can do this....And continue to pay off my Debts....Slowly but surely....

The_Dragon

That is wonderful of your Mum - now repay that by clearing debts as soon as you can!

DreamerHelen

The_Dragon wrote: »

That is wonderful of your Mum - now repay that by clearing debts as soon as you can!

Oh I will do....!! I have agreed to an amount of £50 per Week to pay off the Credit Card....more than is needed but I want to clear it as soon as possible....

Just about to Log On for the Night....I plan on doing REALLY well tonight....Just hope it is busy....but I'm going to stay on for as long as it takes....

Mara_uk7

:beer: Way to go you ! Now youve got your eye on that ball .... Get kicking !:T:T

DreamerHelen

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

:beer: Way to go you ! Now youve got your eye on that ball .... Get kicking !:T:T

I certainly will do hun.....I'm all logged in and it's going really well so far....So I'm certainly going to stay on until morning....We'll see when I hit my Target that I have in mind....

I'm proud of myself for today.....I've been tired all day but still Worked and am still Working now....just goes to show that I CAN do it when I set my mind to it!!

If I went to bed now then I would feel like I had let myself down big time....So I'm not going to do that....It's about time I stopped letting myself down....

Mara_uk7

I think sometimes tiredness is i the mind, if you force yourself to keep going, you get a second wind. Good luck for tonight. X

DreamerHelen

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

I think sometimes tiredness is i the mind, if you force yourself to keep going, you get a second wind. Good luck for tonight. X

I think I agree with you hun.....I have already been on the Phones for 45 minutes and I'm not tired at all right now....So I must have got my second and third wind

I'm GOING to do lots more hours than I have been doing....And I'm starting with tonight....Normally I would do 4 or 5 hours....but tonight I want to do 12 hours....at least....So that's what I'm going to do....

Feeling goooooooooood.....:T

DreamerHelen

Just to keep you all Updated....I think I really HAVE finally had my Lightbulb Moment....This is why....

I got to 9.15pm and decided I had had enough....And I sat there for 5 minutes thinking "Right, that's it...I'm going to bed, I'll get up later" knowing full well that I would sleep right through until morning...this has been my pattern for months now....

But then I sat back...I thought about how many people I would be letting down...AND I thought about letting myself down....

So instead I have taken a 45 minute break to go to the Loo...get focussed again...and I'm logging back in at 10pm....

I feel really proud of myself....I HAVE NOT just given up and gone to bed....As I said, that would have been my pattern....It's hard right now, I AM tired....but I know that I'm almost always tired and so sleeping really isn't actually going to help that much as I always wake up tired....So I'm just going to stay awake and Work until I've hit my Target.

My Target for tonight is another £74....That would mean I've done £105 in just over a 24-Hour period...that's pretty much unheard of for me....but I'm going to do it to prove to myself that I CAN do it....

Anyway.....Just wanted to keep you all updated in how I am getting on tonight....

I have broken down my Target for tonight into manageable chunks....so £25, £25 and £24....and I'll allow myself to take a 5 minute loo break in between each one....

So here we go....The first Shift of my new Life....

The_Dragon

Well done Helen!