DreamerHelen's New Diary - "Ad Astra per Aspera"

DreamerHelen

The_Dragon wrote: »

That's excellent news Helen!

Thanks Hun....I really appreciate your Support...

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Great news about the other debtors ! Will be a relief for you to be able to clear the council tax and draw a line thru a debt. Enjoy the placement ! I'm still ironing !

Well I won't be able to clear ALL of the Debt by the end of June after all I owe nearly £900 in total....but I should be able to get to at least half of it which should keep the Bailiffs away...I hope!!

Placement went really well....and then Mum took me to a Supermarket to stock up on Food....and I got quite a lot for the money I spent and didn't spend all of my Food Budget so have a little bit left over for any odds and sods during the Week next Week...I treated myself to a £2.50 Pizza which they made especially for me with the ingredients that I wanted...and I bought a HUGE box of Strawberries for £2.....that's going to be my treat after a looooooong day on the Course on Saturday and my treat for surviving the Sentencing tomorrow....

Speaking of which....I've been asked to go and do an Impact Statement which will be shown to the Judge....I've basically got to say what an Impact "he" has had on me and how it has affected my Life....and I'm just hoping they throw the book at him...or deport him....whichever keeps him out of my Life and away from me!!

I'm feeling stronger tonight....I've realised that I will NOT let him win...If I hide in my Flat feeling scared and sick and miserable then he's won....The best revenge for me is to live my Life and have the sort of Life that he could never dream of....I'm going to be a success....he's just a rapist!!!

Going to grab a few hours sleep....and then I have to be at the Court to give my Statement by 9.30am....but I'm going to get up and Work around 2am....so I can get most of my Target done before I have to go to Court....

Chat to you all later on xXx

PestoPasta

Hi Helen, I just wanted to come out of 'lurkedom' to wish to the best of luck. I have been following your thread of the past few weeks, and, even though you have had some real 'nasties' thrown at you, you sound like the kind of girl who is really going to turn all this around. Gook luck. Shall continue posting to spur you along on your quest.

I am also a fellow Londoner, so do know that the cost of living in this 'amazing' city of ours makes moneysaving and stuff quite tricky!

Go for it....

DreamerHelen

Well, it's all over.....The Sentencing is done....and he got released....

I was warned this would be the likely outcome but it still feels like a shock....I just have to trust that it will be okay...That I will be okay....

If I'm completely honest I just feel completely and utterly sick....really sick to my stomach....

But at least the whole thing is over now....The Rape is over...The Trial is over....The Sentencing is over...Everything is over....

And now it's time to move on with my Life in the best way that I can....

The good news (if you can call it that) is that he has been ordered to pay me compensation for my Distress and Loss....Not sure what that will amount to or when I'll get it....but at least that is something....Not that ANY amount of money makes up for what I went through...and am still going through...

Just wanted to let you all know what's happened....I can't say much more....Right now I just don't have the heart...

DreamerHelen

PestoPasta wrote: »

Hi Helen, I just wanted to come out of 'lurkedom' to wish to the best of luck. I have been following your thread of the past few weeks, and, even though you have had some real 'nasties' thrown at you, you sound like the kind of girl who is really going to turn all this around. Gook luck. Shall continue posting to spur you along on your quest.

I am also a fellow Londoner, so do know that the cost of living in this 'amazing' city of ours makes moneysaving and stuff quite tricky!

Go for it....

Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words....And thank you for coming out of lurkedom...LoL...

It IS hard to save when living in London....but I'll get there slowly....

Mara_uk7

Hey hunni , so glad its all over judicially at least. Sorry that the judge didnt see fit to chuck him in jail for forty years !

Its your time now, time to sort out your life and debts. Easy for me to say, put him behind you, it was a horrible experience, but don't let it eat away at the rest of your life. He's not worth the ground you step on.

Maybe once you qualify, the abuse of women could be an area for you focus on, helping women who are in the same position you were in, who could know better what they're feeling ?

Big hug and a boot up the bum, get to work ! Lol x

DreamerHelen

Mara_uk7 wrote: »

Hey hunni , so glad its all over judicially at least. Sorry that the judge didnt see fit to chuck him in jail for forty years !

Its your time now, time to sort out your life and debts. Easy for me to say, put him behind you, it was a horrible experience, but don't let it eat away at the rest of your life. He's not worth the ground you step on.

Maybe once you qualify, the abuse of women could be an area for you focus on, helping women who are in the same position you were in, who could know better what they're feeling ?

Big hug and a boot up the bum, get to work ! Lol x

Thank you hun....and yes, I had already thought that might be an area that I'd like to Work in....Just have to do some Work on myself first....

I've calmed down a bit...spoken to Mum....Am feeling a bit better...only marginally....but I just have to remember that he will never amount to ANYTHING....I'M going to be a success....I'm going to be a HUGE success....and he will NEVER be that...

Mum said that I shouldn't be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my Life...and she's right....I WILL be looking into Self-Defence Classes though, once this blooming Council Tax Bill has been paid off....

Thank you to everyone for your Support....It really HAS helped me through this whole horrible experience...

Now it's ME time...

PestoPasta

Hi Helen, as Mara said, think the area of female abuse would be a great area to focus in your future work. It is always easier to empathise with a situation when you have been in that situation yourself and we all know.

You are right though, now is time to focus on YOU! Self-defence classes sound a great idea (once you have cracked the council-tax).

DreamerHelen

PestoPasta wrote: »

Hi Helen, as Mara said, think the area of female abuse would be a great area to focus in your future work. It is always easier to empathise with a situation when you have been in that situation yourself and we all know.

You are right though, now is time to focus on YOU! Self-defence classes sound a great idea (once you have cracked the council-tax).

Thanks hun....Yes, I would like to work with Rape Survivors in particular....I had already thought that even before November....and what I have been through just strengthens my feelings about Working in this Area....

I have looked into Self-Defence Classes...Krav Maga in particular and would like to go and do that....Just have to pay off this Council Tax first....and then I'll be doing some SERIOUS Work on myself....Diet, Self-Defence and Therapy!!

Am on a Course Weekend this Weekend....which is going to be tough with regards to Working....but I decided to sleep in the early Evening and get up around 11.30pm to start Work at Midnight and Work through until about 6am....and then go to the Course....that way I get to Work when the pay is the highest....and it's especially high at the Weekends!!

This Weekend I still have £78 to earn....So that's £39 per night...which should be more than doable....especially since I have 6 hours a night to do that....and I can sometimes earn £50 in 5 hours....so I might even do OVER my Target which would be very nice....We'll just have to see if it's busy....

Feeling okay at the moment....I refuse to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my Life....why should I give him that kind of power? That way he wins!! I'm NOT going to let him Win...I'M going to win by being a great success....and doing what I want to do in Life....and being happy....He will always be NOTHING....

Anyway...that's that....Time to move on....

Gosh, it's warm tonight....I've got my Fan on for the first time this Year....and it's really helping....might even help me stay awake as well!! LoL....I've slept all evening but am still a bit tired....Just got to suck it up and Work...Am logging on at Midnight....

PestoPasta

Hi Helen, how are things? I guess you had a very very busy weekend. Hope you enjoyed the course and managed to fit in the work that you wanted to.

Did you manage to get hold of a mini deoderant spray to keep with you (I know that you discussed it ealier in your blog)?

Looks like the lovely weather has gone for a while at least. But hopefully back soon. Had a busy day doing housey things, and childrens homework, so going to get the children to bed and then relax...... Looking forward to it!

Take care..

Mara_uk7

Just home from a couple of lovely days on Skye. Fantastic weather, picnics at the shore, beers sitting outside the hotel watching the rich people on yachts making fools of themselves trying to moor up :rotfl::rotfl: bargain weekend, found a fiver in a car park, so had coffee and cakes with that, the first hotel undercharged us by £50 and the receptionist was too hung over to change the bill altho i did gently query it, didnt want to get her in trouble ! Second night was free with loyalty points !

Was very restrained with shopping, only one pair of reduced shoes and a few bedding plants !

So, im back to nagging mode , budgets ? Diets ? Update me ! Were not talking about my diet, ok ?