DreamerHelen's New Diary - "Ad Astra per Aspera"

DreamerHelen

Hey Everybody....

Decided to have a decent Sleep for once and get up early and Work this morning....Am Logging in at 6.30am....for the morning...

Had a GREAT time yesterday with the Family....really relaxing..

Got woken up this morning by a horrific Nightmare....but it's probably a good thing that I got woken up as I DO need to start this Week's Target....My Aim is to get over that magic £500 hurdle....and this Week I'm determined!!

Final Total for last Week was £360 and some change...not bad...

I want to do better this Week!!

So, here we go with the beginning of this Week....

dawnybabes

Happy Monday Helen.

Good day and good sleep all sound good :-)

PestoPasta

Hi Helen, how has your morning shift gone?

Just taken the children to football so putting my feet up for five minutes and having a cup of tea. Oh, the small pleasures of life....

DreamerHelen

Morning Shift gone REALLY badly!! I started to feel sick and dizzy again...so went back to bed...Am starting again at 1pm....

I think I've figured it out though - I think it's Cheese that is making me sick....particularly melted cheese....so I'm going to avoid that in future!!

So, I'll be doing 1pm until 7pm and then 8pm until 8am....Let's hope I can make a REALLY good start on my Target as at the moment i'm only up to £2!!

Fingers Crossed for a MUCH better Afternoon....

Knit_Witch

That is a common trigger Helen - so cutting that out you may be able to blast through those targets!

DreamerHelen

Knit_Witch wrote: »

That is a common trigger Helen - so cutting that out you may be able to blast through those targets!

You could well be right there hun....So I'm going to cut that out and see what happens....

Tonight I'm going to try making a Bolegnase....that's fairly healthy and should be quite nice....so we'll see how I get on with that....

Work going slowly this Afternoon but I'll get there...I usually do!!

PestoPasta

Hi Helen

So how has your afternoon shift gone then. Hope you haven't gone AWOL!

It would be really good to do a 'hefty' hours Monday and Tuesday to set you up for the week and take some of the stress off.

Busy day for me. Just sitting down now for five minutes before I do the evening meal.

DreamerHelen

PestoPasta wrote: »

Hi Helen

So how has your afternoon shift gone then. Hope you haven't gone AWOL!

It would be really good to do a 'hefty' hours Monday and Tuesday to set you up for the week and take some of the stress off.

Busy day for me. Just sitting down now for five minutes before I do the evening meal.

Hey Pesto...Nope, not gone AWOL...It's been quiet....I'm at about £15 and some change....so, not great but not too bad....

Yes, I will be doing fairly hefty hours across the Week but taking Sunday Afternoon off as I think a Friend is coming over...

Hope you manage to sit and have some "you" time tonight....xXx

PSoandproud

I'm sorry to have to do this Helen, but I've been reading your diary for a while now, ever since I recognised your user name from the excel forum. I've seen how these lovely people on here support you and cheer you on, even going as far as working out a financial plan for you. But I need to ask why you are lying to them? You are saying you earned £360 plus change last week but I know for a fact you earned less than £224 because that's the lowest amount on the leader board, and you didn't make the leader board this week. You also say you are giving up cheese to see if your sickly headaches are caused by that, then on the excel forum you said you were ordering pizza this lunchtime. Now you say you are working but according to the website you are not logged onto the phones. In fact you said you couldn't be bothered and were taking this afternoon off. I also noticed the other night you were posting on here that you were working throughout the night but you weren't. You seem to be just logging on for that regular caller of yours and going to bed as soon as he's gone. I've been checking.

You lie to these people all the time and it's not fair. You have a horrendous amount of debt through your own laziness and living beyond your means. Only you got yourself there and only you can get yourself out of it. You don't need congratulating for doing what you should have done years ago, which is get off your backside and work. But to lie to people and claim you are doing it when you are not is not going to pay your debts, and it's nothing to be proud of. You talk about needing to lose weight and then you seem to live on pizza, burgers, ice cream and chocolate. Buy salad, it's cheap and doesn't need cooking. Don't say you are cutting out cheese and then order an expensive great calorie loaded greasy cheesy pizza for lunch. No doubt you'll be feeling sick and dizzy later and then saying on here that it can't be the cheese then because you haven't had any, when you have.

At the end of the day the only person you are letting down is yourself. You are always looking for attention whether it be praise for actually doing your job, or sympathy for every little thing from your dreams, headaches, family illness. How much of all this is actually true I have no idea. These people on here that you are lying to deserve better, like the truth. Your family deserve better too, like the money paid back that you owe them.

A final point...if you are going to lie on public forums, don't use the same user name that you use everywhere else. You will get caught out sooner or later.

DreamerHelen

PSOandProud....You are right in some of what you say....I am not sure who you are from the other Forum that I use but I think it IS rude to come on here without letting me know who you are....that is your choice of course....and I have no idea what your intentions were in your Post....was it to just have a go at me? To "out" me? Or to make me stand up and be counted?

I HAVE lied, you're right...and I have been feeling really bad about that....but I wasn't sure what else to do.

Last Week I basically slipped back into my old ways....I DIDN'T get another PayDay Loan but I was very close to doing so....

You're right...I DID lie...I didn't earn anywhere near to £360....And I'm so sorry to everyone for lying....I was just really really scared that you would all judge me as much as I judged myself for slipping back into my old ways....

I will be honest now - I earned £129.50 last Week....That's the EXACT amount that I earned....

I know that you all can never trust me again....I won't blame any of you for never reading my Diary again....Maybe I should just stop posting and wasting all of your time.

I have been lying here this Afternoon (I DIDN'T order Pizza in the end, I ordered some Side Orders from Pizza Hut but NO Pizza)....and I have been just thinking "Have I learned anything at all in these past few Weeks" and maybe I haven't....I don't know...

I'm ashamed of myself....and I expect you all to be too...I'll have to think about whether I decide to just ask this Diary to be Locked and stop Posting or not....But I don't expect any Supporters anymore....

I'm so sorry everybody...Particularly to Pesto Pasta and Mara who are my two biggest Supporters....I hope you can both forgive me eventually...

EDIT: A Final Point: It is ONLY in the last Week that I have been lying....before that I haven't lied at all....I HATE to lie and have felt dreadfully ashamed of myself....I just wasn't sure what else to do....That is all.