How often do you treat your child?

FatVonD

pinkmami wrote: »

I mean as sweets etc. I have 3 kids & the eldest 2 are girls age 9 & 7. They think its "normal" to have sweets every day. You see, their pal down the road who is 8 has a £1 every day (yes, without fail as she comes to our with her bulging bag of sweets to show off) to go to the shop to buy sweets & boy does she spend that £1 on them. So when my girls come into the house & ask for some money for the shop I say "not today"....they think I'm a very bad mum! They see the other girls having some so they think its the norm. I've explained that its nor in our home & having sweets as treats.

When I was a kid (yeah that old one!!) I was given some money to go on a Saturday or on the way home from school on a friday (granted we'd been good kids).

I popped to the shope earlier & this girl was there & I mentioned in passing to the cashier that my kids keep pestering for cash & she said "oh they've been here with this one (the £1 girl) eariler & she bought them sweets".......so they went behind my back so I grounded them till the morning. They're now upstairs sulking!

So do you treat your kids everyday to lots of sweets? Mine don't go without, don't get me wrong. They're well dressed, well fed, much loved, we have day trips, I buy them the odd DVD/Wii game .....but I find this girl a bit irritating in buying sweets for my girls. She's one of 5 kids I they're a very materialstic family (each have a laptop, DS, mobile....blah blah)

just want your thoughts xx

I'm sure you were only venting yesterday, OP, but you sound very bitter towards an 8-year-old girl who did a kind and generous thing in sharing her good fortune with her friends??! It happens every day at sweet shops all over the country, I'd be more worried if my children weren't included!

onlyroz

My kids get a handful of haribo each day. Sometimes we might buy them a small bag of pick-and-mix at the weekend.

BustyB_2

OH's son doesnt get sweets here at all. When he is at his Mother's she lets him get whatever he wants whenever he wants from the cupboards (and then wonders why he wont eat his dinner......hmmm) .
Here though we dont tend to have sweets in the house, and biscuits etc are very rarely given as a snack.
xxx

delain

DSD is allowed to help herself to whatever at home and consequently found it difficult at my house where snacks are given out at certain times and aren't crisps, and she was quite disgusted that in my house children don't drink fizzy drinks because she's allowed them at home (she was 8 at the time) and she also found it difficult to sit at the table with my children to eat because she has a cooked dinner at school and only ever seems to eat sandwiches at home.

She has recently got better and will now sit at the table without whining but it took a while. She barely eats anything at mealtimes though so must be hungry the rest of the time, but because she is used to just picking all the time on junk, she finds it very hard to eat a proper meal.

I do feel sorry for her really and I hope the habits she has learned at home aren't with her for life, as they don't add up to a healthy lifestyle.

My lot whine and moan that they are deprived because they can't help themselves, but they usually polish off a whole cooked dinner and sometimes a biscuit/yogurt/whatever after.

I certainly wouldn't give them £1 each a day for sweets, quite apart from that being bad for them, and they would be mental all the time from all the sugar, I couldn't afford to!

pinkmami

FatVonD wrote: »

I'm sure you were only venting yesterday, OP, but you sound very bitter towards an 8-year-old girl who did a kind and generous thing in sharing her good fortune with her friends??! It happens every day at sweet shops all over the country, I'd be more worried if my children weren't included!

Its more than that. She's the kind of girl who gets what she asks for from her parents etc. She asks for a new laptop she gets one. new bike every year etc etc. Then my girls see this & then think its the norm....which certailly isn;t from what I read on here. She does't know what a treat is as she gets treated so often. I don't want my kids to think that I'm a bad person for not giving them the things they ask for when she does.

milliebear00001

pinkmami wrote: »

Its more than that. She's the kind of girl who gets what she asks for from her parents etc. She asks for a new laptop she gets one. new bike every year etc etc. Then my girls see this & then think its the norm....which certailly isn;t from what I read on here. She does't know what a treat is as she gets treated so often. I don't want my kids to think that I'm a bad person for not giving them the things they ask for when she does.

This is just bizarre!

You know (presumably) why you don't do what the other girl's family do. Explain that to your kids. If you really think they'll think you're a bad person for not buying them endless crap, then you're either seriously underestimating your kids, or you've brought them up really badly!

Why does it matter so much to you what the other kid's family decide to do?

cheepskate_2

pinkmami wrote: »

Its more than that. She's the kind of girl who gets what she asks for from her parents etc. She asks for a new laptop she gets one. new bike every year etc etc. Then my girls see this & then think its the norm....which certailly isn;t from what I read on here. She does't know what a treat is as she gets treated so often. I don't want my kids to think that I'm a bad person for not giving them the things they ask for when she does.

Again you seem to be venting your feelings onto this little girl. Should it really matter what she gets, added to the fact it sounds so bitter.

If you make a big deal, then she will also

Jewel_2

BustyB wrote: »

OH's son doesnt get sweets here at all. When he is at his Mother's she lets him get whatever he wants whenever he wants from the cupboards (and then wonders why he wont eat his dinner......hmmm) .
Here though we dont tend to have sweets in the house, and biscuits etc are very rarely given as a snack.
xxx

My daughters stepmum moans to my daughter about what she's given to eat at home. I don't know whether it's a stepmother thing ....

pinkmami

you think I don't tell them that?! They see this girls most days as she's here playing so she mentions all she gets. I don't care that her parents do it its just the way other kids see it.

Obviously only a few of you think I'm bizzare and the earlier posts think I'm "normal" in not treating my kids as this girl gets treated.

Thank you for replying.

pinkmami

milliebear00001 wrote: »

This is just bizarre!

You know (presumably) why you don't do what the other girl's family do. Explain that to your kids. If you really think they'll think you're a bad person for not buying them endless crap, then you're either seriously underestimating your kids, or you've brought them up really badly!

Why does it matter so much to you what the other kid's family decide to do?

Do you think I'm bringing them up badly for not buying them everything they ask for!?