How often do you treat your child?

pinkmami

I mean as sweets etc. I have 3 kids & the eldest 2 are girls age 9 & 7. They think its "normal" to have sweets every day. You see, their pal down the road who is 8 has a £1 every day (yes, without fail as she comes to our with her bulging bag of sweets to show off) to go to the shop to buy sweets & boy does she spend that £1 on them. So when my girls come into the house & ask for some money for the shop I say "not today"....they think I'm a very bad mum! They see the other girls having some so they think its the norm. I've explained that its nor in our home & having sweets as treats.

When I was a kid (yeah that old one!!) I was given some money to go on a Saturday or on the way home from school on a friday (granted we'd been good kids).

I popped to the shope earlier & this girl was there & I mentioned in passing to the cashier that my kids keep pestering for cash & she said "oh they've been here with this one (the £1 girl) eariler & she bought them sweets".......so they went behind my back so I grounded them till the morning. They're now upstairs sulking!

So do you treat your kids everyday to lots of sweets? Mine don't go without, don't get me wrong. They're well dressed, well fed, much loved, we have day trips, I buy them the odd DVD/Wii game .....but I find this girl a bit irritating in buying sweets for my girls. She's one of 5 kids I they're a very materialstic family (each have a laptop, DS, mobile....blah blah)

just want your thoughts xx

SkintGypsy

My five year old brings them home a few times a week from school. They have a large class and it's always someone's birthday. Drives me mad! I would only let her have sweets maybe at the weekend if she's been good, or some ice-cream after tea if she's done well with a 'grown-up' meal. It's certainly not the norm in our house.

pinkmami

Thanks SkintGypsy! I suppose I wouldn't mind the odd sweet like that from school but its the fact that this 8 yr old goes everyday & it seems to be influencing my girls!! I'm like you....if they eat their tea they have a biscuit/lolly whatever. Its just I''m trying to teach them not to take things for granted.

She's not the only kid who spends a lot in the shop cos on the way from school its the same kids I see there (they have to queue outside if there's more than 2 school kids there) so I see who they are!

Look at this - no wonder this is happening. I think they've seen the queue at the shop!!!
http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/2011/07/30/ams-to-investigate-programme-to-tackle-poor-dental-health-of-children-55578-29144841/

mrsa

My children 6+3 yrs only have sweets once a week to 10 days but also it is about the quantity. They only have 1 or 2 fruit chews. Or at most a small bag of Haribo. They are really happy with that and are always excited and never ask for more however when we had friend's kids stay they were horrified with the small amount they were given!

chanie

My son is only 1, so its not really applicable, but I am thinking of my niece and nephew who are 9 and 6.

They don't get sweets every day as they go to the childminders after school. But, my sister had has to stamp out some bad habbits she got into. Basically, on the weekends, if they were out and about, she would get them a snack whilst out and about, it could be an ice lolly or some other nice treat. They started to expect it. She only really buys them stuff on birthdays and Xmas, but they still want for nothing and in some ways they are spoilt. THey were similar to your two in that it got to the point where everytime they went out, they expected something. My sister has taken the harsh approach and just said 'no'.

I suppose it is slighly different because my niece and nephew are only influenced by past habits rather than a friend, but maybe you should stop them going to the shop with the friend and call them in on the pretence of a snack or chore.

Oldernotwiser

How can something you have every day be a treat?

pinkmami

Thanks for your reply. Do you know I think it also stems from school. Nowadays kids have treats in schools (be it a rubber, crayon, biro, keyring........)for doing a good thing, be it help tidy up in class, have full marks for a seplling test. What happened to the gold star we used to receive!?

ie this lunchtime my 7 yr old said "mum I'm finishing my lunch" in the tone of voice "hey what can I have now". All I said was "well done you. Sit nicely by the table please till we all finish".

pinkmami

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

How can something you have every day be a treat?

My point exactly! This was drummed into them earlier on when I grounded them!

mumto2loves

i very rarely go to the shop and buy my 2 (8 + 4) sweets i can't actually remember the last time i did. but i have a tin in the cupboard which has sweets /treats in it, and tbh they do have something out of there most days (maybe 3/ 4 / 5 days out of 7) somedays they don't ask for sweets but want a yogurt or banana instead.

in the tin are fun size chocolate bars, trackers, mini haribo packets maybe finger of fudge,kit kats or milky ways depends whats been on offer at supermarket when i'm shopping.

my friend couldn't believe it the other day when we popped in for milk after school and neither of my kids even asked for sweets where as her 2 whinged moaned and pleaded non stop until she gave in and bought one a snickers and one a dairy milk bar and not even the smallest one.:eek: 2 chocolate bars cost her £1.40 something:eek:

fwiw i would probably have punished my daughter the same as you have if i found out she's gone to the shop for sweets when i told her she can't.

£1 a day on sweets is rediculous. £1 pocket money a day wouldn't be so bad if she was made / encouraged to save it.

mumto2loves

pinkmami wrote: »

Thanks for your reply. Do you know I think it also stems from school. Nowadays kids have treats in schools (be it a rubber, crayon, biro, keyring........)for doing a good thing, be it help tidy up in class, have full marks for a seplling test. What happened to the gold star we used to receive!?

ie this lunchtime my 7 yr old said "mum I'm finishing my lunch" in the tone of voice "hey what can I have now". All I said was "well done you. Sit nicely by the table please till we all finish".

my daughter school doesn't give out things like that, they do get a sticker and one child a week gets put in the 'gold book'.

how about this then my friends status on fb on the last day of school was that her son had 'won' an X BOX from school for 100% attendance, no lateness and no loss of play time!!!:eek::eek:

Gillyx

I think it's fine to treat your children but never with sweets, it then breeds the thought that snacks/sweets are a reward. My parents done this and I think I have quite an unhealthy relationship with food now and I do see it as a reward, i.e I've had a long day, oh I'l get a takeaway etc.