How often do you treat your child?

milliebear00001

pinkmami wrote: »

you think I don't tell them that?! They see this girls most days as she's here playing so she mentions all she gets. I don't care that her parents do it its just the way other kids see it.

Obviously only a few of you think I'm bizzare and the earlier posts think I'm "normal" in not treating my kids as this girl gets treated.

Thank you for replying.

You misunderstand. Most people definitely don't think you're not normal for not doing what the other girl's family do (most of us entirely agree with you) - it is bizarre though that you appear so bothered about what they do in the first place!

Why on earth does it matter what they do? Maybe they have pots and pots of money and don't mind splashing out on their kids and giving into their every whim. It's not your business what THEY do - only what YOU choose to do.

milliebear00001

pinkmami wrote: »

Do you think I'm bringing them up badly for not buying them everything they ask for!?

No. Read the post properly.

I have suggested that if you think your kids would think you're a bad person for not buying them crap all the time (which was your suggestion) then you may not have done a very good job bringing up your kids in the first place.

My alternative suggestion, was that you are underestimating your kids' ability to understand your reasons for refusing to buy them crap all the time.

pinkmami

milliebear00001 wrote: »

You misunderstand. Most people definitely don't think you're not normal for not doing what the other girl's family do (most of us entirely agree with you) - it is bizarre though that you appear so bothered about what they do in the first place!

Why on earth does it matter what they do? Maybe they have pots and pots of money and don't mind splashing out on their kids and giving into their every whim. It's not your business what THEY do - only what YOU choose to do.

It does not bother me what they do......its down to how often kids have sweets & how much per day to give them. Its just not normal for an 8 yr old to have a £1 of sweets a day.

Jewel_2

pinkmami wrote: »

Do you think I'm bringing them up badly for not buying them everything they ask for!?

With all due respect I think you need to learn from this - because your kids are going to come across people you don't agree with all the tmie. All you can do is bring them up the way you see fit, irrespective of what other kids do or don't do. By the time they are teenagers, some kids will be drinking, dying their hair, having sex, taking drugs, not going to school, the list is endless. You can't 'control' other people's views on how to bring children up so just do what you feel is instinctively right.

Then they'll bring home partners you don't like, then the ones you do they'll dump, then they fall out with their mates, then they make up again.

Enjoy!! Because one day you won't care about the sweets.

delain

Jewel wrote: »

My daughters stepmum moans to my daughter about what she's given to eat at home. I don't know whether it's a stepmother thing ....

I wouldn't dream of complaining to her about it... She was 8, it wasn't her fault she had bad habits, I just asked her Dad to have a chat with her about eating at the table, so she knew it came from both of us and it wasn't a 'wicked stepmother' thing

None of it is specifically aimed at her, it's a blanket rule that applies to all children in this house.

She did keep sneakily asking OH for Lemonade and she would never ask me for a drink though so she must have thought it was all me anyway

Jewel_2

delain wrote: »

I wouldn't dream of complaining to her about it... She was 8, it wasn't her fault she had bad habits, I just asked her Dad to have a chat with her about eating at the table, so she knew it came from both of us and it wasn't a 'wicked stepmother' thing

None of it is specifically aimed at her, it's a blanket rule that applies to all children in this house.

She did keep sneakily asking OH for Lemonade and she would never ask me for a drink though so she must have thought it was all me anyway

Ha ha - sorry I wasn't responding to your post. I just have a bit of an issue with my daughter's stepmum because everytime my daughter goes there she slates the way I feed my daughter (I know this now because my daughter is 12 and tells me everything). I'm really not bad, just not as fanatical as her stepmum.

poorly_scammo

One thing which hasn't been mentioned on this thread in detail is that children seem to replicate their parents.

If foods are seen as 'banned' and by that I mean they are seen as 'naughty' and are forbidden then the child will want them even more in my experience.

Every parent's aim in my opinion should be to make their child comfortable around food full stop. This means that they themselves have to be comfortable around food as children soon pick up on their parents' attitudes to many things; far more actuallly than parents realise.

I speak from experience on this: my mother would let me have crisps as a child but was told never to tell my father that we'd have them. My father would criticise me eating any food which to him wasn't healthy and I was told and still am told (I'm 33) that I'd get fat if I ate it. This unhealthy attitude towards food has meant that I've always been very concerned about my weight and have really had to educate myself about eating and body size etc. I still have real problems with it now.

To answer the original question: treats are exactly that - something which isn't eaten often. The posters who try to make sure their kids are eating properly, allowing them sweets occasionally, making sure they're active and trying to get their children to enjoy food without making a huge fuss about it are doing the right thing, I think.

delain

Jewel wrote: »

Ha ha - sorry I wasn't responding to your post. I just have a bit of an issue with my daughter's stepmum because everytime my daughter goes there she slates the way I feed my daughter (I know this now because my daughter is 12 and tells me everything). I'm really not bad, just not as fanatical as her stepmum.

Well that isn't on, and puts your DD in a very bad situation.

I know I am not DSD's favourite person because when OH lived alone she would go over there and eat carp food sat on the floor, and drink the bad stuff. It's not so much she ate sweets etc as the meals he gave her (single man food - i think the frying pan was the most used implement in the place lol)

I don't think I am fanatical, I just have to be careful because I have 2 who are sugar/colour sensitive and who would probably just be a blur of hype if they could help themselves to sweets or have fizzy drinks, and I won't allow one and deprive the others!

There is a mum here who only lets her kids drink milk or water and no treats ever, I'm not that bad. I just can't be doing with hyper children :rotfl:

Jewel_2

poorly_scammo wrote: »

One thing which hasn't been mentioned on this thread in detail is that children seem to replicate their parents.

If foods are seen as 'banned' and by that I mean they are seen as 'naughty' and are forbidden then the child will want them even more in my experience.

Every parent's aim in my opinion should be to make their child comfortable around food full stop. This means that they themselves have to be comfortable around food as children soon pick up on their parents' attitudes to many things; far more actuallly than parents realise.

I speak from experience on this: my mother would let me have crisps as a child but was told never to tell my father that we'd have them. My father would criticise me eating any food which to him wasn't healthy and I was told and still am told (I'm 33) that I'd get fat if I ate it. This unhealthy attitude towards food has meant that I've always been very concerned about my weight and have really had to educate myself about eating and body size etc. I still have real problems with it now.

To answer the original question: treats are exactly that - something which isn't eaten often. The posters who try to make sure their kids are eating properly, allowing them sweets occasionally, making sure they're active and trying to get their children to enjoy food without making a huge fuss about it are doing the right thing, I think.

Excellent post.

BustyB_2

Jewel wrote: »

My daughters stepmum moans to my daughter about what she's given to eat at home. I don't know whether it's a stepmother thing ....

Slightly stereotyping stepmums there a bit!

His diet at ours is better, you can see this from the fact he has energy at ours and isnt living off sugar highs and then lows!

I NEVER tell DSS that his diet with his Mother is bad, and I never would. But OH and I discuss it.