Kids, Friendships and Head Lice...

ikati5

Young children from nursery to primary school are most likely to have a bath and go to bed with damp hair, this is where the critters thrive, at secondary school, hair is a priority and blow drying, straightening and using of products necessity. Lice cannot attach to hair coated with silicone which is in some of the repellents and most adult shampoos, conditioners and lacquers, hence shiny hair, not so in kids shampoos.

I totally agree lice are as much part of today's society as they ever were. My girls picked them up in the swimming pool, lice can swim!!

Hedrin contains silicone

bestpud

I find it best to be completely open with friends when it comes to headlice.

We've not had huge problems with them, but when we have, I've been very open about it.

Parents are less secretive these days (I remember my mum telling us we would lose all our friends and be banished to a corner of the playground if anyone found out my sister had headlice :cool:) but there is still some stigma and I think it's best to tackle it head on (excuse the pun!)

Have them over to your place and then send her a text to say they are all scratching a lot so you are going to give them all a quick check over.

If you find any, say you are very sorry, but you will have to call it a day until both of you can deal with your children and get them clear.

You don't need to blame her - just keep it all neutral. Hopefully she will buck up her ideas if she realises other parents are on the look out and will pull her up on it!

neverdespairgirl

I'd just tell her.

DS is 6, and has had them once. I think he must have had them a little while before I noticed, because it didn't occur to me that he might! I'd not have minded at all if someone else had mentioned it.

purplepardalis

Invite her daughter over, check her when she arrives and delouse her if she has them. I'm sure she'll be appreciative of a few days of not itching

BigBlackcat

timeou wrote: »

Dilemma....

I have a friend, not close, but a friend that I wouldnt want to hurt all the same.

Kids are friends too - mainly in school as we dont live close enough for the kids to play out together .

Now this friend is clean & tidy but pretty relaxed when it comes to parenting - the child has been here a few times for tea after school and its pretty apparent head lice is a problem in the family. their mum (my friend) doesnt seem to bothered and knowing her its all too much like hard work to do the combing out night after night so nothing is really done about it.
My DD has had them a few times and I'm really diligent in making sure that I get rid of them as soon as they appear so its really frustrating to know others dont bother so the cycle just goes round & round the class.

My friend has made some noises about the kids getting together to play over the holidays and also the current 'trend' around here is for sleepovers (hate them tbh - would rather my kids be in their own beds every night but there you go) so she's extended the invite to sleepover too.

I've been making every excuse under the sun not to meet up or have the sleepover as tbh I'm fed up with clearing my own kids of Head Lice and during the holidays its a welcome respite from it all. I know that when school starts again no doubt I'll be having to step up the checking but at the mo I'm enjoying the rest from it all!!

I feel so guilty avoiding lettting my DD play with her friend. Should I ask outright if they have head lice before letting them play? I dont want to come across as being ridiculous and I certainly wouldnt want to hurt my friend....difficult situation..

I have to say OP, I'm more bothered by the statement bolded above than the actual headlice themselves. There is no way I would allow a child of mine to have a sleepover at someone's house, when that someone knows her poor kids have lice, but does nothing about it. That is pretty poor parenting imo, and there's no way I'd trust her to look after my child.

webitha

dont talk to me about lice, i swear they continually set up home in my kthings hair, im gonna start to charge them rent lol

seriously though im in year 12 of the blighters and ive a few more years to go as thing 3 is only 6
and i seem to have to go through all hair twice a week, with conditioner and nitty gritty comb (another fan here)
even with hedrin and the likes they still seem to catch them over and over again its getting ridiculous

i spend hours making sure we are free as all 3 kids and me have long hair and within days i have to do it all over again
i have an idea where they come from (all the poor kids seem to do is scratch) but when i approached their mum, she just shut the door in my face, one of them is blonde and you can see them at times and little spots of blood where they really have gorged

oh good only done ours last night and im scratting again lol

FBaby

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

I think he must have had them a little while before I noticed, because it didn't occur to me that he might! I'd not have minded at all if someone else had mentioned it.

Exactly, that's the thing, usually by the time the parent notices (usually the child start scratching his/her head), the child might already have passed it on to half the class. I personally have an issue with parents who blame others for letting their kids passing it on when they might very well be as guilty. It's not a race to better parenthood, it's a case of accepting something that really is nothing more than a nuisance and dealing with it.

I too would have no issue telling others I found some in my kids hair and ask their friends' parents to check their kids and wouldn't feel offended the other way around. Nits are nothing more than annoying little critters, not disease ridden pests!!!

FBaby

BigBlackcat wrote: »

That is pretty poor parenting imo, and there's no way I'd trust her to look after my child.

Had to laugh at this, if this is poor parenting, I wonder what many other common parenting lackings are.... Personally, I would prefer my kids to be looked after by a mum who might spend the day taking them to the park, playing with them, and teaching them new skills even if they come back with some little bugs in their heads at the end of the day than a mum who will spent all morning treating their hair and the afternoon putting them in front of the TV, but I guess we are all different in what we consider good/bad parenting!

aliasojo

FBaby wrote: »

Had to laugh at this, if this is poor parenting, I wonder what many other common parenting lackings are.... Personally, I would prefer my kids to be looked after by a mum who might spend the day taking them to the park, playing with them, and teaching them new skills even if they come back with some little bugs in their heads at the end of the day than a mum who will spent all morning treating their hair and the afternoon putting them in front of the TV, but I guess we are all different in what we consider good/bad parenting!

I don't think it's necessarily a choice between the two. Being conscientious about head lice doesn't equate to a parent who plonks the kids in front of a tv.

I can understand the point about poor parenting. I would suggest that a parent who doesn't bother too much about ridding their child of head lice, may well be the type of parent who is laid back about other aspects of parenting too. Maybe not quite the hands on parent that you suggest in your post?

FBaby

aliasojo wrote: »

I can understand the point about poor parenting. I would suggest that a parent who doesn't bother too much about ridding their child of head lice, may well be the type of parent who is laid back about other aspects of parenting too. Maybe not quite the hands on parent that you suggest in your post?

Well I would be one of the parents you judge wrongly then. After years of trying to get rid of them, I am not so bothered any longer. Yes, i will do a treatment when I know my kids have them, but I have stopped obsessing about it. My kids both have extremely thick hair and there is no way I can put any of those nitty combs through their hair unless it is wet and full of conditioning which then takes for ever to clear. And yes, I am a full time working mum so I've given up on doing this every single day as a preventive measure. So yes, it is possible that my kids had nits before I noticed and was able to do a treatment and it is possible they could have passed it on, just like someone passed it on to them for them to get them again.

Am I a bad parent in other areas... well I can proudly say that I am a very good parent. My kids have received amazing school reports, both in terms of results (my girl came top of her class of 115 pupils) but more importantly in terms of behaviour, social and communication skills and attitude. It is all about priority setting. I much prefer to dedicate my energy teachng my kids responsibility and independent skills which makes them very mature kids for their age. I am confident that these skills will be much more profitable to them long term than the time I could have spent making sure they didn't have anything crawling in their hair at all time...