Child Care is costing us the equivelent of a mortgage!

CH27

I think that childcare needs to be thought about & costed very early on & I think people can be very naive about the whole set up.

I advise people to save the amount they will lose while on maternity pay so they aren't struggling.
People who struggle on Maternity leave are then at a disadvantage with childcare as they have no financial cushion behind them.

I found part time to be the best compromise.
It kept me in a job but made the childcare cheaper. Also I wasn't spending as much on my days off as I was working in the town centre.

janninew

Just out of interest as I have no idea (and could do with being a little more clued up!) what is the cut off for help with child care if both parents work and have 1 child? I though it was around £40,000?

melb

how on earth can you tell whether babies of a few months old love being at nursery? Oh yes. because the people you are paying to look after them tell you so. Well that's alright then. I stand corrected. And it stands to reason that teenagers on minimum wage will look after our children better than we will.

FBaby

melb wrote: »

how on earth can you tell whether babies of a few months old love being at nursery? Oh yes. because the people you are paying to look after them tell you so. Well that's alright then. I stand corrected. And it stands to reason that teenagers on minimum wage will look after our children better than we will.

What kind of parent can't tell whether their child is happy or not!!! Let me think... they gave their keyworker a big smile when we arrived at the nursery, didn't cry when I left, gave me a big smile when I picked them up but didn't cry to get out. They were happy babies at home most of the time. I picked a nursery which had a designated key worker and a ratio of 1:2 so no different to a mum with twins. The ethos of the nursery was that the keyworker adapted to the baby and not the other way around. When I told her that my boy only fell asleep whilst being rocked in his pushchair when he first started, she told me it wasn't problem for her to continue with this routine and asked me if I'd mind bringing my own pushchair as it was even more familiar to him. Their were no teenagers working there, the younger staff was about 25 and they had to have a certain level of education. Most staff were actually mums of older children.

My kids are now 8 and 11 and still in touch with three keyworkers there. A few do babysitting and are delighted to still be in touch. One comes to all their birthday parties and once in a while give them a call to ask how they are.

The key thing is to choose a good nursery. That's take us back to the OP. Yes, it is frustrating to be paying such a huge amount, but as you pointed out, it is definitely worth paying the extra to get the best care.

FBaby

Tropez wrote: »

The fact is if you want to start a family then you should be aware of how it will affect you financially before the baby is born. Even unplanned pregnancies give you nine months (give or take a couple of weeks... I was a lazy baby apparently) to fully work out what you can afford and how to tackle the commitment.

Sitting there after the fact looking at families who are on benefits and complaining it isn't fair is looking at somebody elses situation and attempting to apply it to yourself.

And let us not get bigoted here - the vast majority of people on benefits claim welfare for legitimate reasons. A minority, yet highly publicised, number of cases of people extracting the urine from a system designed to ensure social stability is not a true reflection on the real situation that the majority of welfare claimants find themselves in.

Having children requires sacrifices. It is up to the parents to decide which sacrifices they are willing to make for themselves.

I do totally agree with you that people should be responsible and it shouldn't come as a shock when it is time to consider childcare. However, if people waited to be certain they could afford it no matter what, I think many of those not entitled to any benefits would actually take the plunge to have children.

The issue the OP has is that he will be entitled to no help, so after he has paid all nursery fees, he probably won't have much more disposable income than a family working 16 hours each, therefore having more time together as a family, or not living the next few years in total exhaustion, just because they can make the difference up with benefits.

I think many do make that choice. As a matter of fact, I read recently that only 30% of mums worked full-time. I very much doubt that 70% of these mums are able to do so without relying on some tax-credits.

balletshoes

I did work full time when my DD was in nursery - it actually became more difficult to do this when she started school (no wrap around after school care or childminders who picked up/dropped off at her school), and thats when I reduced my hours at work. I lose about £200 per month net compared to my full time salary, and obviously have no childcare expenses.

OP it is hard when you are working parents and pay for childcare, our childcare fees were about the same as our mortgage every month. But its a choice we all have to make, for our own individual families.

Lifes_Grand_Plan

**Patty** wrote: »

Best hope then, that the entire child-breeding population of the UK gives birth to *Wunderkindt* and is able to return to work. Since anyone having a child with even a slight difficulty or disability would be fcuk'd in your Utopia.

Did you completely miss his point / twist his post on purpose?!?

What difference does having disabled children have on free childcare for those who work?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Strange. When my kids were in afterschool care and I worked fulltime - and still qualified for WFTC because my earnings were low - I didn't qualify for a penny of housing or council tax benefit, due to the tax credit money/assistance towards the childcare costs.

Mind you, I was never given a payrise either, because the boss believed that, as a benefit scrounger, I'd be better off than the other people in the department.

It meant I had a disposable income of roughly £32 a week after rent, childcare, council tax, electricity, gas, travel to work and food.

No chance of getting a deposit, never mind mortgage on that.


Life was sooooooo easy as a scrounger.

skintchick

So much I could say on this (now off) topic, but I am a full-time mum and we don;t get any tax credits or any money from the state and we manage just fine.

I would much rather my child was brought up by me, than by someone else, which is why I chose to parent full-time rather than continue to work outside the house.

I personally do not believe children are better off in nursery, and I think that nurseries can teach some very bad habits (almost all nursery-goers I know in my child's peer group bite and snatch toys and did not do that before going to nursery.)

I also think that children do not learn social behaviour from other children - that way lies anarchy - they learn it from viewing society in its entirety, which is what I can offer my child by taking her out and about in the world daily, rather than her being in an institution, no matter how lovely, in which she only interacts with other small children and some nursery workers.

I think children are much better off being brought up daily by a parent IF POSSIBLE, and I have sacrificed my career to this end. But if you do choose to go out to work, I don't think you can moan about childcare costs - nursery workers don;t earn a great deal yet have the most important job in the world of looking after our children.

I realise that this discriminates against women, as they are usually the ones to give up work to parent full-time, but that is a fault of the system as it is set up (by men for men originally) and not a fault of the women having the children in the first place!

What we should do is reorganise the system so women can parent and work without being penalised.

neverdespairgirl

melb wrote: »

Nurseries are for those on higher salaries who don't want to give up their career which is entirely their choice.

? Higher salaries and nurseries aren't necessarily the same thing at all.