Child Care is costing us the equivelent of a mortgage!

The_Rizler

The best piece of advice my friend told me she was given, yes child care was expensive but they got by, but when they go to school put that money up as you've managed without it. By saving that money they bought a small holiday home.

It is tough OP but you can turn it to your advantage.

clearingout

it seems you can't win....if you choose to stay at home or are forced to stay at home because of circumstances (my situation as a single parent who had three children within marriage and who's ex !!!!!!ed off at the first opportunity with his book keeper!), you're nothing other than a benefit scrounger...if you go to work you're a bad parent because someone else is bringing up your children for you, if you contest the costs of childcare, you're failing to take responsibility for your off-spring. No win situation for all of us, I think?

As for the Government only helping those on low wages - there's a reason for that, perhaps? I have a Masters degree. My current circumstances are not of my own making. I am going to retrain in a teaching shortage area. It's going to cost the Government a small fortune in tax credits. It has previously been suggested that I should simply stay at home because if the Government is paying out more to me than I'd be earning ( as a trainee teacher taking the GTP route into teaching),what's the point? Well, there's every point, isn't there? There's me setting my children a good example by working when I could actually sit on my backside for another 3 years claiming Income Support. There's me having an interesting and varied job which boosts my self esteem (very low after everything that's happened), it means the country at a time of economic crisis has someone with a ton of work experience and life experience working with, and positively influencing, our younger generations, it means I will build a pension so I'm not a burden on either my children or the state in my later years, it means I can stick two fingers up at the man who said I would come to nothing without him....stop judging other people and work at your own life. I truly hope that any of you here never have to face the mess that I faced nearly 3 years ago and have to rely on the benefit system to feed your children. Sadly, I suspect it is only then that for some people, something would 'click' and you'd realise just how priviledged we are to live in a welfare state that doesn't see it's citizens on the streets or starving.

FBaby

melb wrote: »

However to think that putting a child of a few months old into a nursery for maybe 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week is setting a good example is laughable. Instead the government should be encouraging mums or dads to stay at home and look after their children by helping with tax breaks etc.

I've only got so far reading this thread but this comment makes me want to scream... How arrogant of a parent to be convinced to the point of laughter that they are forceably a better influence on their children than anyone else...

Being a good parent is about making sure that your kids get the best they can get. It is also accepting that parents are not super heros capable of doing everything better than anyone else.

Both my kids were at nursery full-time from a few months old...they loved it and I have no doubt they benefited more in that environment than they would have with me. Why? Because I am a great mum in many aspect, but not when it comes to stimulating/entertaining/playing with. My kids both needed a lot of stimulation/attention and got that a lot better at nursery than they would have at home with me. What I made sure of was to pick a nursery whose values were in line with mine and who I felt provided excellent personal care.

I feel confident writing this because my kids couldn't have turned better. My daughter who is 11 got 'pupil of the year' award this year, came first against 115 other pupils. She was described as a happy, confident and very clever child. My son had a report just as good as his sister, emphasizing his maturity and social skills.

Of course, some children are indeed better care at home and if I'd had any doubt that my children were not happy or developping well at nursery, I would have revisited my choice to work full-time. But to make a judgemental and ignorant comment like this makes my blood boil...

FBaby

Tropez wrote: »

You wouldn't need £20k in place although obviously the more the merrier.

For the sake of argument, lets say your child care costs for Year One amount to £7,500 and you already have that in savings so a reasonable sum would be in the region of £9,000 which allows a little leeway and gives you a headstart on Year 2. With the remaining £1,500 and supplementary income from salary during Year One you can fill up an ISA, invest in a one year, fixed rate bond, pop some money in a monthly saver perhaps (First Direct have one paying 8%) and by the end of Year One you'll be well on your way to having the savings in place for Year Two, plus a bit extra because of the money you have earned in interest which too can be reinvested.

...and then we wonder why couple who both work full-time rarely have more than two children despite their wishes whilst people on benefits keep going...

zippybungle

I feel your pain .
I have 3 Children (2 in School and 1 who is 3 and a half so qualifies for 15 hours 'free' Nursery funding per week during term time) even so, I am still paying nearly half my wage on childcare .
oh, and I get just over £10 per month to help with my childcare costs _party_ lol.


Zippy x

Tropez

FBaby wrote: »

...and then we wonder why couple who both work full-time rarely have more than two children despite their wishes whilst people on benefits keep going...

I'm not actually condoning people on benefits having all the kids they want. Frankly, it irks me when I read about a family of six or more claiming this, that and the other with no partner working but this actually falls into the same category as my original argument - people who choose to start families without considering all the angles. People who work can be just as guilty of doing financial and socially irresponsible things as people on benefits.

The fact is if you want to start a family then you should be aware of how it will affect you financially before the baby is born. Even unplanned pregnancies give you nine months (give or take a couple of weeks... I was a lazy baby apparently) to fully work out what you can afford and how to tackle the commitment.

Sitting there after the fact looking at families who are on benefits and complaining it isn't fair is looking at somebody elses situation and attempting to apply it to yourself.

And let us not get bigoted here - the vast majority of people on benefits claim welfare for legitimate reasons. A minority, yet highly publicised, number of cases of people extracting the urine from a system designed to ensure social stability is not a true reflection on the real situation that the majority of welfare claimants find themselves in.

Having children requires sacrifices. It is up to the parents to decide which sacrifices they are willing to make for themselves.

FATBALLZ

Childcare should be free to people in work, simple as that. It's a perverse society that makes children unaffordable to decent hardworking people who would breed future decent hardworking people, and gives massive financial incentives to the !!!!less workshy to breed future !!!!less workshy people. I'd add to that there should be no cash benefits of any kind paid to anyone for having children.

**Patty**

FATBALLZ wrote: »

Childcare should be free to people in work, simple as that. It's a perverse society that makes children unaffordable to decent hardworking people who would breed future decent hardworking people, and gives massive financial incentives to the !!!!less workshy to breed future !!!!less workshy people. I'd add to that there should be no cash benefits of any kind paid to anyone for having children.

Best hope then, that the entire child-breeding population of the UK gives birth to *Wunderkindt* and is able to return to work. Since anyone having a child with even a slight difficulty or disability would be fcuk'd in your Utopia.

FATBALLZ

**Patty** wrote: »

Best hope then, that the entire child-breeding population of the UK gives birth to *Wunderkindt* and is able to return to work. Since anyone having a child with even a slight difficulty or disability would be fcuk'd in your Utopia.

You think people with disabilities can't be decent hardworking people? You have a very twisted view of the world.

**Patty**

FATBALLZ wrote: »

You think people with disabilities can't be decent hardworking people? You have a very twisted view of the world.

Where did i say that?

What i DID say was that anyone having a child had best hope that their offspring would be perfect and therefore they would be able (as the parent) to return to work. If they lived in your world.

I'd say your the one that's opinion is twisted. And if your opinion isn't then your sight is.