Am i being stupid? Or am i right to be worried?

ska_lover

January20 wrote: »

You know, I think it's perfectly normal. I was sitting down at home yesterday, and had this wave of panic of what would I do if I lost my job? We are constantly told how bad the economy is at the moment, there have been some horrible things going on in the world lately, and like you, I have heard of a couple of people in their early 50s (I'm late 40s) who have dropped down dead suddenly. Is it any wonder that people worry? You are the sole earner for your family. It's a huge responsibility. My concern for you is: do you worry constantly or is it occasionally? Also, you didn't say how old you are? If you are just in your late 30s then it's a bit early to worry about your own mortality, isn't it?

I agree, I think a wave of panic is perfectly normal, but the OP is talking about months of sleepless nights here - bit different. We could all worry about mortality - for example- children die (god bless them) so age is not neccesarily a factor to when you die - so hearing someone of a similar age to yourself has died and then worrying about it is pointless.

tod123

OP needs to chill, sh17 happens , just roll with it .

dharm999

A big thank you to all that have replied, I am very touched by the fact so many have taken the time to respond.

Yes, I think I need some time off, we haven't had a decent holiday in years, and even when I've had time off from work I've still had to do work things. I'd like to just completely switch off and try and relax. I am not going to go and see my GP, yet, but am going to try and make a conscious effort to switch off and try and do non work things and try not to worry so much. I will give that a couple of months, and if that doesnt help will go and see my GP and talk to him.

I have decided that I do need to do some of those things I have always wanted to, and am now looking at booking a holiday this winter to go and see the northern lights, something I've always wanted to do. There are lots of other things as well, that WILL get booked and sorted out in the next few weeks.

I will also get all finances in order so that if the worst happens, my family will be looked after.

Once again, thank you to all that have posted.

VfM4meplse

There's been some excellent advice on this thread.

I went through a bit of a wobble when I was heading towards 30 - thought I my last decade with my parents has passed me by and everything would be downhill from there etc, and being the responsible child of 3 felt a bit much.

What I would suggest is that you list all the things you thought you would have done with your life by now, and cross any of those off that don't matter to you any more. Add any unfulfilled ambitions, create a timeline to go with them and then start planning how you're going to live your dreams.

Good luck!

j.e.j.

dharm999 wrote: »

I have decided that I do need to do some of those things I have always wanted to, and am now looking at booking a holiday this winter to go and see the northern lights, something I've always wanted to do. There are lots of other things as well, that WILL get booked and sorted out in the next few weeks.

:T
That's a great idea. I hope you get to see them

chocolate.buttons

dharm999 wrote: »

It gets to the point where I dont make financial decisions, for fear of making the wrong one, and it leads to a kind of paralysis. Wanting to make a decision, but being unable to actually make it.

This was the part that sent alarm bells ringing for me. Whilst everybody encounters shocks and stress over the course of their lives, there are indications that your situation is more complex than that.

The feelings that you have described in your post may suggest an underlying anxiety - perhaps alongside depression as other posters have suggested.

I have suffered with these kind of feelings in the past, and whilst I didn't find CBT particularly helpful, it may be of benefit to you. Another option might be medication (obviously dependent on your personal medical history).

I think it's great that you have recognised these feelings as out-of-the-ordinary and you are being pro-active in addressing them. However, I would strongly urge you to make an appointment with your GP - even just to keep them informed and, if things do not improve for you, they will be better advised to get the ball rolling regarding treatment.

On another note, good on you for booking your trip - it's also one of my dreams to see the northern lights. Best wishes.

soupdragon10

dharm999 wrote: »

A big thank you to all that have replied, I am very touched by the fact so many have taken the time to respond.

Yes, I think I need some time off, we haven't had a decent holiday in years, and even when I've had time off from work I've still had to do work things. I'd like to just completely switch off and try and relax. I am not going to go and see my GP, yet, but am going to try and make a conscious effort to switch off and try and do non work things and try not to worry so much. I will give that a couple of months, and if that doesnt help will go and see my GP and talk to him.

Good for you - it's very easy to get so caught up in the 'rat race' that you lose sight of who you are and why you are in the race in the first place. When you leave work - leave work, switch your mobile off and don't take work home.

In the short term could you take a weekend break, or even an overnight stay somewhere. A change of scene might help. If your job is office based, could you garden/walk/swim or do something active and completely different to your daily routine (plus helping you keep fit)?

Very best of luck to you.

NAR

dharm999 I agree with the others and am glad to see you are taking positive action. You are probably in the second half of your life now; you are seeing terrible tragedies happening around you and realising you have not really lived life yet.
You have managed to reach a comfortable state home-wise, so you are quite right in realising you need to start doing much more for you by living personal dreams.
I don't think you need your GP yet either, everyone is capable of changing their lives - it is just a matter of attitude.

Well done on switching on the light - enjoy! :beer:

lurvlyloz

i panic about being cooked to death in an electric blanket...i dont even own an electric blanket! lol! i think everyone panics about some things. but at least your thinking positive and getting a holiday booked will give you something to look forward to. maybe think more glass is half full rather than half empty! x

Nara

I think my dad is very much like this, then again hes always been a pessimist guess thats where i get it from :rotfl:

He is about to have 'alot' of money in the bank due to an inheritence and downgrading home and hes talking of semi retiring, hes 60.
But he has never done anything with his life other then work! Never taken a holiday, only been abroad a couple of times as a child or for business.
He has this dream to go to the USA and see where they filmed all the westerns as he loves all the cowboy films.

I'm like dad you have the money to do it now, go do it!!! but he says hes too scared as hes never done anything like it before, of course i offered to go with him:o
As both of his parents died within 6 months of each other over the last year its been a pretty awful year for him but i also think that it has helped to change his outloook on life, for the better.

I really hope he makes it to the USA before he gets too old to travel, I'm gonna keep bugging him to go, he deserves it.