Living alone for the first time in my life.

MrsE_2

I'm in my 40s & for the first time ever, I'm living alone (recent marriage breakup).
I went from home to first husband, when we separated I was a single parent. Then DD moved out & second marriage broke up shortly after.

Its quite weird. Eating alone, sleeping alone, just living alone.......

I do have friends & family, but its still a bit lonely living on your own.

I guess there are many of others who had to deal with this, any advice?

Just_Plain_Jane

So sorry to hear things didn't work out, but you know, there are advantages to living alone.

You eat what you want, when you want (my ex was a very fussy eater, it was a huge relief not catering for him).

No need to tell anyone what time you're going to be home, just turn up when you feel like it.

You can watch what you want on the telly.

There are others, but you get the gist.

I haven't lived alone for some years now, but I do miss just doing my own thing sometimes.

aliasojo

Aw MrsE, sorry to hear about your marriage breaking up.

I think trying to keep occupied is the key, at least until you've completely adapted to singledom. If you have too much time on your hands by yourself, sometimes it's easy to ruminate too much and become even more focused on being alone iyswim.

Even something as simple as doing a crossword puzzle can be a distraction.

Visit people more, go to the library, try to fill your time as much as poss so that you actually look forward to quiet time for yourself?

I have times when I love my own company and also times when being by myself is depressing. You're lucky in the respect of having people around you, utilise them as much as possible, that's what friends and family are for.

sock-knitter

MRSE, i have recently started living alone also, after my two ds moved out. it is a strange feeling, but the trick i found is to fit as much as you can into each day, see friends, join groups or classes in things that u are interested in. then when its the evening, you can enjoy being on your own, relaxing in any way you choose. i am 40 also

VfM4meplse

(((Hugs)))

Enjoy your freedom....once you get used to answering to no-one, you'll never look back :j

Hermia

As someone who loves living alone I am not sure I am really qualified to answer, but I think you need to think about all those things you can do on your own that may have been difficult when you were married. It can be the little things. E.g. making your bed into a lovely big nest and sleeping in the middle. Having dinner exactly when you want or making yourself an indulgent 3 course meal for no reason (or having a pot noodle 'cause you can't be a**** to cook). Watching whatever you want on TV without having to worry about what other people like.

Then there are the bigger things. Have you not got any hobbies or interests that you have always wanted to explore? This is your opportunity to do something without worrying about disturbing someone else or being anti-social. You can now go to classes or a group in the evening without worrying about having to get home or telling your partner what you are doing. The thing I love about living on my own is that I can just grab every opportunity. If I see a cheap weekend away in the local paper I can just go. If I see that an interesting film is on tonight I can just go to the cinema after work without having to let someone know or worry about whether they are going to be okay getting their dinner.

Both living alone and with someone else has it's pros and cons. At the moment you seem to feel that living alone means you are lacking something (understandable when you have never done it before). But, every situation we find ourselves in offers us different opportunities. You need to see this as an opportunity to do things you may not have been able to do before.

Pee

Living on your own is so good that when I split with my ex, I had lodgers to avoid getting too set in my ways as I knew if I lived alone I would never be able to share my space again!!!!

If you find you don't like living on your own, shared housing or a lodger might be an option, but I doubt this will happen.

The only things I don't like about being on my own are a feeling of vulnerability, like late at night, which I put down to silliness and sometimes it can seem so quiet I like the radio on for background.

Enjoy maybe the first chance in your life to really be yourself.

[Deleted User]

SNAP!! I felel that way too sometimes MrsE. Im also in my 40s and live alone, i have done since my relationship breakup. There are days when i love it and others when i hate it and feel totally alone. I miss the nice things about having a partner around, the cups of coffee in bed in the morning, the laughs but then again i dont miss the arguments or the extra mess. So i cant have it both ways. I did have a boyfriend but that went wrong and i also try and fill my days off by keeping busy.

Person_one

Enjoy it!

I'm also living alone for the first time, and while there are definitely downsides the positives far far outweigh them.

Have you thought about getting a pet? I find that having another living being in the house, even if its a furry four legged one, is great company. Also, you're not talking to yourself if the cat can hear you

elsien

Put the radio on -it's amazing how much difference having a bit of background noise can make when it's all feeling a bit quiet.

Soubrette

MrsE, I'm so sorry to hear this

Have you thought about doing an open university degree or something else time heavy that is hard to fit in when you're with someone? There's a downloadable programme somewhere to teach yourself welsh in six months!!!

My mum used to knit when Dad was away - he hated the noise so she never knitted when he was around but she really loved it.