would you stay in a job you pasionately hate?

chocsessential

I think you deserve credit for sticking it out all these months and at least you have gained some experience. I think you can walk away from the job with your head held high. You had the guts to try it and not leave after the first week, something I have done a couple of times

You sound like someone who wants to provide their customers with a decent service, and there will be a job out there for you. Good luck.

eamon

Many posters, me included have had awful jobs in the past. I've had 3 that come to mind and I will bore everybody with the details. Job 1, I was sold in theory a great role. On arrival I quickly found chaos, my managers boss was a bully, luckily I'm usually a calm person but I could have easily decked him many times, nobody would take ownership of problems. Job 2, my manager forbade me telling my colleagues my job title, very weird and again chaos. Job 3, a family business with dillusions of grandeur, enough said.
Going back to the OP if you get on with your colleagues and the people in authority that are actually there then that is half the battle. I suspect that what you need is more direction and guidance in your role and what is specifically expected of you. It is also possible that your employers just know that they need a range of functions to be done but have spent little time/effort/money on the mechanics of acheiving this. Put it another way what would need to be done that would encourage you to stay and to have a better work life? If you can put plenty of meat on that thought then why not present it to your employers.

Jariya

I've had a fair few jobs but only two so far which I have hated.

As your probation is coming up you could do the same as I did and ask for an extension to your probation - I asked for it and they accepted so my probation was amended on my contract.

It gave me a while longer to continue and decide what to do.
I did however decide to leave - but I had found a new job and also only had to work's one week's notice because of my request to extend the probation period.

I have loved most of my jobs and I couldn't stand spending most of my day doing something I didn't enjoy.

an9i77

Jariya wrote: »

I've had a fair few jobs but only two so far which I have hated.

As your probation is coming up you could do the same as I did and ask for an extension to your probation - I asked for it and they accepted so my probation was amended on my contract.

It gave me a while longer to continue and decide what to do.
I did however decide to leave - but I had found a new job and also only had to work's one week's notice because of my request to extend the probation period.

I have loved most of my jobs and I couldn't stand spending most of my day doing something I didn't enjoy.

problem is once you ask for an extension to probation, they know your hearts not in it and if you can't find another job you're stuck, or worse they pull the plug

ceridwen

Samanthamum wrote: »

I just want send my sympathy. I have been in a job I hate for over a year and would leave if i had the choice. I work in a call centre. Very little training, have to lie to customers. No sympathy when customers are abusive. I was a SAHM for many years before this and never knew the working world could be so harsh.

My husband says ALL jobs are like this and I need to get on with it and is constantly pushing me to take on more hours. I am so very sad that i will need to spend the next 35 years + doing something I hate. if it was not for my family I would end it all.

I only work 15 hours a week but my whole life is affected. I spend all my time job hunting and fretting about when i am next at work. When i complain to management I am just told "I am doing very well" and "thats just how we do things" thats it.

Sorry to hear that that is how the job is and I think the being ordered to lie would upset me most personally in your position.

Dont know about the lying - though that is an element of far-too-many jobs to be expected to do so and one of the things I object to in the World of Work. I take the view "I really hate being pushed into a situation where I have to lie for myself (because I'm an honest person) - so why should I lie for you?"

Your husband is right though to some extent - many jobs are like this (not all - but a significant proportion) and that is what peeps have to put up with very often.

I can understand why he wants you to do more than 15 hours too - as he presumably does so (ie i guess he has a full-time job?)

I do think many women dont realise how harsh the working world is still - and it does come as a shock when they get a job again and an even bigger shock when they go full-time again and its a harsh indictment on our Society when thats how things are for so many people. To be honest - I dont know what the answer is to that. I think men in my own generation (ie Baby Boomer) always expected to just have to get on with it and work full-time and that was that and job satisfaction was a luxury that few expected and few got. I think we are in unfortunate times these days - where many people expect job satisfaction as a right (and I certainly understand where they are coming from - as I would like to have that myself) on the one hand - but work conditions are a sight worse than they were when I started work on the other hand. I DO look back with astonishment at how much easier work conditions were for everyone when I started work - compared to what they are these days. The only beneficial change there has been it seems is longer holidays than back then.

So - dont do anything drastic - but do try and figure out ways to get satisfaction in other ways than from a job. I do have to say that I sympathise with your husbands wish for you to do more hours - is there any way that you could both do the same number of hours in your respective jobs? That is, for instance, he cuts his hours to 30 a week and you increase your hours to 30 a week - and then you would both be sharing the burden equally and it would be easier for him to live with his job situation. As someone who has to work full-time myself - I can understand how difficult it is to watch someone else being able to work part-time when you know you have no option BUT to work full-time and bear the full brunt of how harsh it is in the World of Work. So - the upshot of you both sharing out equally the number of hours that have to be spent in the World of Work could be a lot happier husband and even better homelife...just my twopennorth and explaining it from his POV.

********************************

...and as for the comment by PCP about enjoying life as much as possible. I do understand about the wish to enjoy life - but that post does come over as "Enjoy life as much as possible - even if it means shoving your own responsibilities onto other peoples shoulders". Maybe it wasnt meant that way - and its accepted that none of us should be made to shoulder other peoples responsibilities just in order that WE personally can "enjoy life more". I'd love to go on the Dole and just "enjoy myself" - but know I've got to sigh and "pick that boulder back up - again" and get on with doing a job - darn it....

Samanthamum

ceridwen wrote: »

I do have to say that I sympathise with your husbands wish for you to do more hours - is there any way that you could both do the same number of hours in your respective jobs? That is, for instance, he cuts his hours to 30 a week and you increase your hours to 30 a week - and then you would both be sharing the burden equally and it would be easier for him to live with his job situation.

His normal working week is 32 hours over 4 days. Plus he earns £24 an hour and I only earn minimum wage so money wise we could not afford for him to cut his hours as I cannot make up the shortfall.

I think he is being very unfair expecting me to stay in my job, but I do realise that it is easier to find work when you have a job. He does want me to have a good, well paid career and i know overall he has my best interests at heart.

I dont think he realises how tough it is out there to find a decent job and I know for a fact he would have walked out long ago if he had to put up with what i do for less than £6 an hour.

HariboJunkie

Samanthamum wrote: »

His normal working week is 32 hours over 4 days. Plus he earns £24 an hour and I only earn minimum wage so money wise we could not afford for him to cut his hours as I cannot make up the shortfall.

I think he is being very unfair expecting me to stay in my job, but I do realise that it is easier to find work when you have a job. He does want me to have a good, well paid career and i know overall he has my best interests at heart.

I dont think he realises how tough it is out there to find a decent job and I know for a fact he would have walked out long ago if he had to put up with what i do for less than £6 an hour.

You poor thing It really must be awful if you have contemplated "ending it all". Doe your husband know that?
I do think he's being unreasonable if a number of ways;
Your job is low paid and his isn't therefore he needs to take that into account and think how he would feel to work in a job he hates for minimum wage.
If he wants you to have a well paid career would it perhaps not be better to return to eductaion/training to enable that to happen? Could he support you with that?
I know there are people out there who still devalue the role of a SAHM but you shouldn't have to justify working fewer hours than your husband as it's plain that you will then bear the brunt of the domestic chores and childcare. You have 2 jobs, only women who have not been in that position will fail to understand that. Some women still think that the majority of housewives are layabout who are hanging onto their husband's coat tails for a free ride, usually an idea borne out of envy I suspect.

It's kind of hard for me to empathise on this one as I have never truly hated a job, even the most menial ones I took while at University, as I always got on so well with my colleagues. And I know for a fact that my husband would never tolerate me being unhappy in a job. I suspect that your husband does indeed have your best interests at heart but perhaps you need to sit down again and tell him exactly how ill this is making you and put your heads together to look for alternatives.

Wishing you lots of luck. xx

Oldernotwiser

Samanthamum wrote: »

His normal working week is 32 hours over 4 days. Plus he earns £24 an hour and I only earn minimum wage so money wise we could not afford for him to cut his hours as I cannot make up the shortfall.

I think he is being very unfair expecting me to stay in my job, but I do realise that it is easier to find work when you have a job. He does want me to have a good, well paid career and i know overall he has my best interests at heart.

I dont think he realises how tough it is out there to find a decent job and I know for a fact he would have walked out long ago if he had to put up with what i do for less than £6 an hour.

I think you're pretty unfair to expect him to keep you, particularly as he's only working part time hours.

HariboJunkie

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think you're pretty unfair to expect him to keep you, particularly as he's only working part time hours.

I don't think she does expect him to "keep" her. I think she expects support from him at a time when her job is so bad that she is having suicidal thoughts.
I only work part time and I am certainly not a "kept woman" the rest of the time. :rotfl:
I run a home smoothly in every aspect from the food we eat to all financial matters and recognise that as the person who works fewer hours in paid employment, I bear the brunt of all domestic responsiblity.
My husband is the bread winner but I buy the flour, bake the bread and clean up his crumbs.
In our relationship we accept that you can't be blissfully happy ALL of the time but we would do anythin in our power to prevent the other being miserable.
I do understand that financial pressures could be making this husband terrified of his wife leaving her job but he does need to think of the longer term and how having a miserable wife and mother to his children is going to impact on his family.

ceridwen

I would say that most of us have suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives - but the thing is that most people do also exaggerate their feelings at times in order to draw attention to how they feel - particularly when they see/think that someone else could improve their lives for them by altering their behaviour.

I am not saying for one minute that that is what OP is doing here. It is very hard though from the other side of a computer screen to see whether peoples feelings are being presented absolutely straight/absolutely deadpan/absolutely factual - as some people downplay their feelings and others exaggerate their feelings. This being the case - then I expect it comes out much the same as ITRW and its usually totally impossible for anyone else to gauge the extent of someone else's feelings and see whether those feelings have been underestimated, stated accurately or exaggerated.

I can recall from my own experience that it hit really hard at the point back in my 20s (ie when I had worked - full-time as I have to - for a few years) and it struck me that it looked as if I was going to have to work full-time until retirement. Despair wasnt the word for what I felt:(:(:(. I did contemplate all sorts to try and "escape" from this - marrying a wealthy man for the sake of being supported, trying again in a different society and yes even ending it all if I couldnt see some way out of this. But - in my heart of hearts - I guess I knew I would only ever marry for the right reasons/would stay in my own society/wouldnt end my life over something as trivial as not having job satisfaction and ultimately I think thats what most of us do do.

In the event - I did none of those things - and carried on working full-time at a succession of full-time jobs and hoped that somewhere along the line I would have some of that elusive "job satisfaction". When it struck me some years later that this was looking rather unlikely - then I just decided that I could either totally accept never having any job satisfaction or I could get some (but the only way that seemed to be possible was to do work of my choice on a voluntary basis in my sparetime). So - thats precisely what I did - for years - ie voluntary work - as I wasnt prepared to never have any "job satisfaction" in my life (particularly when I started to come across people in better/better paid jobs and saw that they often had "job satisfaction" as well...).

So it isnt all as straightforward as all that...as I think we all know...