Real life MMD: Should my son pay for the t-shirt?

pinkystan

Do you know the other boy's parents well enough to have a chat to them about it? He might not have been entirely truthful with them about how his top got ripped and is getting pressure from them about it...

Either way, I'm on team 'serves-him-right-for-wearing-it-to-play-rugby'! Don't pay!

baldmosher

Unless it was flag rugby, or his friend said "OK, go on, I'll play, but don't tackle me, cos my top is really expensive and you'll have to pay for it if you damage it", your son has absolutely no moral obligation in this case.

I didn't blame the people who broke endless pairs of my spectacles, I blamed myself for wearing spectacles to play football. Lesson learned - in my teenage years I always bought those new fangled sprung arms, until contact lens technology caught up and now I wear daily disposable contact lenses. A month's supply of those lasts me almost a year. But I digress

A conscientious, rational and proportionate response would be to take your son to the nearest market stall and buy his friend a strong cotton top that's suitable for him to play rugby safely without it being torn. Probably cost less than a fiver and if delivered with an honest belief that this result is more than fair (heck, it surely is more than he is morally obligated to do) would both clear your son's conscience and also make a statement of intent, with a friendly nudge that his friend should probably wear a top that's suitable for playing rugby if he's going to be playing rugby.

It would also be a barbed peace offering to his parents if they're the ones forcing him to moan about it, but I suspect they don't have a clue. Along those lines, if that tickles your fancy, if your son has a spare rugby top and he offered that to his needy friend... personally, I think that's taking the P a little bit too much, but it's exactly the sort of thing I'd do in that situation.

The age-old "well I don't have £25" also works well.

diberry

Absolutely not. It's just stupid to wear an expensive shirt to play rugby - entirely his own fault. Your son should absolutely not pay anything - on principle!!

jgriggle

Agree with the other posters - it's his own stupid fault for playing rugby in expensive clothes.

Tell the boy and/or his parents that the only circumstance in which you will pay for a new top is if instructed to do so by a judge.

JoannaS_3

I agree with the first poster, this is just another sign of the blame culture we've got growing where anything bad is always someone else's responsibility.

If the kid really valued his shirt he wouldn't have worn it to play Rugby so it's his fault it got damaged. He's just annoyed and trying to get someone else to take responsibility for his stupidity.

His parents probably told him off for being an idiot and said he had to replace it himself so he's trying to take the easy way out and make your son pay.

If he threatens/intimidates your son in any way by txt, Facebook or verbally, whatever, take the matter to the police and the school and don't stand for it!!

Part of life is accepting that it's not always rosey, possions get lost/stolen/broken and sometimes we can't afford to replace them and it hurts but that's just another of life's hard lessons, his parents have got some work to do!!!

johnarro

Absolutely not. Same reason as other posters - rugby is a contact sport, you expect to be grabbed and pulled around or dragged to the ground. With that in mind, if the other lad was wearing expensive stuff he didn't want damaged then his only reply should have been "Nah ... sorry!" if someone suggested he might want to join in an impromptu game. Given that he did join in, regardless, then it's all on him to face up to the consequences.

I_need_help

Absolutely agree, there is no way your son should pay for another's teeshirt when they were playing rugby. I always advise my son and ask if he wants to wear a good shirt to play in and tell him it's his choice and tough if it gets torn. It's only a teeshirt for goodness sake!

neilpost

Agrree with the consensus about no as it was part of the contact sport.

The parent could always have a go at the store it came from - 'Not Suitably Durable'.

:rotfl: £25 for a T-Shirt :rotfl:

lilythepinkish

Its so clearly stupid to play rugby in a good T shirt and I think its just normal rough and tumble,which generally should not incur any cost to your child , but what do you know about the other kid's circumstances?
Whats behind these texts and phone calls, is the friend under pressure from a parent? I also am concerned about text and phone bullying,since it happened to a family member, is this similar? Do you know the friends parents? Maybe have a word with them and sort out a civilised outcome as the teenagers don't seem to be able to do it.

whosforachat

JoannaS wrote: »

If he threatens/intimidates your son ... take the matter to the police and the school and don't stand for it!!

I agree that intimidation has to be addressed, but it is not as simple as going to the police or the school; the police and the school will not always take any action where young people are involved unless you are very articulate, preferably very posh, and make it clear that you will take it as high as necessary to ensure they do their job properly with regard to investigating the offence. In addition, there could be risks of aggression even whilst it is under investigation by the police or the school, so you need to consider the circumstances carefully before deciding which way to tackle any intimidation.