"Simply not solvent!

bandraoi

I've found the best solution, is to accept that that is simply the way you work. Short intensive bursts and hours of doing little or nothing.

The time you think you're not doing anything, you actually are. You're thinking it over subconsciously, that's the way your brain works. Some people need to think it over consciously some need to do it subconsciously. Your subconscience keeps your mind occupied with seemingly trivial pointless crap while the other bit solves the problem/organises the article in your head.

When you come to actually do the work because the pressure forces it through you get it done very quickly.

Don't stress, trust yourself that at some point it will all come together and the work will get done. It always has before and it always will. Your brain knows what needs doing and it's just forcing you to act the way it needs to work, while you're trying to super-impose somebody elses suggested method of working onto it.

Seaxwyn

Thanks bandraoi. That is one of the most cheering and encouraging things I've read in a long time. I hope you are right!

mizmir

Bandraoi has a really good point. Sitting staring at a screen is not the only time you are working and if you do do short bursts at that and processing in between then work with that. Re. getting on with the write up - can you try just jotting down some notes or mindmapping it? Rather than trying to write prose? Not sure how you work best but I know sometimes I am just overwhelmed by the size of a job and by my own perfectionist pressure on me that I can't even get going. It is as if if I don't feel I can get it absolutely right I can't do it at all. Chunking it down into pieces that are less daunting can really help - especially if I promise myself a reward for each bit. And deliberately backing off the need for perfection is another thing that helps. The ONLY way I can do housework now is to tell myself that each bit helps. I used to leave it until I had time to get everything done - by which time of course it REALLY needed it and would take 3 days! Again my wise sister came to visit and pointed out that even if you just clear one surface or sweep one floor that is a good thing - and your space is made better. I am really trying to live by this now -
my motto is "good enough really means good enough!"

Good luck with it all.

Seaxwyn

HI Mizmir. You're right i am too perfectionist, and that's why I tend to get things done only when the pressure of a deadline forces me to drop my standards and just churn out copy.

The thing holding me back with this interview is that it was quite an honour to get it. I interviewed two very senior men and they spoke very frankly so I could write a quite interesting story from it. It was a real privilege and lots of people would kill to have such a journalistic opportunity, and I don't want to mess it up. I think I will go out for a run then just come back and do it.

Your sister sounds a wise woman. Could you send her round to visit me?

On the upside, I've just had a phone call from one of my DD's athletics coaches telling me she is really hot stuff. She has just run the 1500 metres in the 47th fastest ever time for an under-15 year old in the South East. That made me laugh but I was swiftly corrected as this is apparently VERY GOOD. I must stress that the South East is the best region in the country for running, apparently.

ZTD

Seaxwyn wrote: »

I must find a way of making myself realise that working hard would solve so many of my problems, not least debt and the self-loathing I have from wasting time so much. I know what I need to do but I can't make myself do it.

Do you think that you find starting work has to be forced by the pressure of deadlines because of all the negative emotion you whip up against yourself? Do you find you dread actually putting pen to paper as it were?

Karmacat

Coo, what bandraoi said really, *really* makes sense. I was at a course by the Monroe Institute a couple of years ago, and they were telling me about a woman who seemed to blank out during the development exercises, every time, without fail. She was really upset about it, but couldn't seem to stop it. Six weeks later, she woke up being able to do what the exercises were aimed at (OBE/psychic work). The way we work is very individual. I shoulda remembered that. Oops....

Seaxwyn

HI there. Yes ZTD, I do really dread starting jobs and find it impossible to actually start. I even find myself getting up from the desk and walking away when I open a file.

Bandraoi did really make sense and made me feel a lot better. I've always been like this. BUT broadband internet has multiplied my problems. Now it's possible to distract myself for hours even while sitting at my desk in work mode. Even when in full flow I'll suddenly switch screens and start checking Facebook or whatever.

Someone suggested that I should disable the internet from my computer. That was a good idea, but it's beyond my powers as our computers are networked. But when I went running just now I had the idea of getting OH to set me up another computer WITHOUT internet access. So I could use this computer for internet stuff and have another place for pure writing. I wonder if that would help. And I wonder where I could find room.

Karmacat

That sounds a good idea, Seaxwyn, nice one. And.... computer solitaire..... computer patience.... computer chasing multicoloured balls around. I feel your pain, for it is *mine* too. I'm seriously thinking of uninstalling the little blighters.

Seaxwyn

Do it Karmacat! I had to uninstall Freecell, then block myself from all the sites where I could play it online.

I've decided to copy Sea and try out affirmations. When I feel myself going into the usual 'I'm cr*p' spiral I say out loud, "I'm good at what I do." That seems unspecific enough to be possibly true!

Still got to write that blasted interview up. I've put a big picture of the subject on the wall in front of me, he has a very kind and understanding face so I'm imagining that he's willing me to write a good article.

Oh dear, I think I'm going bonkers. too much getting up at 4.30 am to work, then spending the day berating myself for doing nothing. I can and will stop this.

mizmir

Remember - good enough really is good enough. It is not poor - it may not be absolutely best that could be done ever - but it is GOOD and it is enough!

Removing distractions is a great idea. And if the issue is getting started (it is for me) then think of something you can do which is part of the task but really easy that will move you forward. Do just that. Then reward yourself with a break. Then do the next small bit. Setting a timer helps me sometimes too - say I will work on this for 10 minutes - set a timer and just do it - the challenge of getting something done in that time makes me get over the barrier of inertia.

Organising papers or stuff I need for something is a starting task I often use..... then mapping out structures etc. For writing I sometimes just brainstorm. I have to do a lot of writing for work and getting going is the worst bit. Sitting down to write is a hugely difficult thing! Somehow jotting notes, or informal style prose is sometimes easier than trying to compose the finished thing.

Just ignore me if you've tried all of these - or if they don't work for you - everyone is different. But I do so feel for you with the inertia thing - I find it so hard too - especially when I would much rather be pursuing my new business idea and plotting my DF journey than getting down to the stuff that pays the bills!