It was getting tough in 2006 and the workhouse still threatens us in 2011

ceridwen

JEDI

Actually your reputation of being as "tough as nails" as a teacher may even help you in this respect.

Reason = well I'm darn sure that if I had children at school - I would be grateful for them having teachers like that. I'm sure there must be a lot of parents who would welcome knowing that troublemaker type pupils won't be allowed to run riot in class and their own children will be able to get on and learn in peace during lessons.

I have known teachers who were known as "tough/wont stand any trouble" - and the pupils learnt well and the teachers found (to their surprise) that the pupils liked them for being "firm". The pupils also knew which teachers really cared for their welfare - the "tough" ones.

I had problems at school with bullies for most of my time there - and it was a relief to know that, at least in lessons, the "horrible little darlings" didnt dare try anything and had to focus on their lessons - ie the same as the more normal ones of us:D

MARDATHA
My parents would tell you that you NEVER stop worrying about your children. Mine still do - even when I point out that I'm middle-aged now - and if I cant look after myself by now, then I never will be able to - LOL.

pelirocco

kidcat wrote: »

I would second the child lock on the freezer, or even fitting a second set of magnets.

Jedi - if you dont invite kids to your home, it will mean your little one always feels different and excluded not to mention sending the message to her that your home is something to be ashamed of, my kids have always gone to school in the "nicest" area and I found it hard at first when the kids came back - but I found that they ended up at ours more than anywhere as they felt more comfortable.
My DS13 has a friend who lives nearby and has had the expensive life ripped away - losing their business, they now live in a small ex council house in a not so nice area. The people buying the big houses etc are probably over extending themselves and getting deeper into debt and at some point it will catch up with them, whilst you will have gotten yourself out of debt and be happy.

I really do get sick of this particular line , it always seems that wehave to ' do people down' who have more then us ...........It just could be that they arent in huge debt , have worked hard for what they have , and they wont lose it all !!


I would echo others views re inviting children back , when we moved to our house 20 years go it needed a lot of work ( and money ) to do it up , for many years we lived in a hovel lol , but my childrens friends were always around and seemed to enjoy being there

valk_scot

jediteacher wrote: »

Thanks pennib I know you're right but it is hard when they all have these lovely homes that they invite each other's children to and my little girl doesn't get invited as we just cannot extend the offer back here. It's the price we have to pay for sending her to the school where I teach which is a very affluent area but the school is excellent (I don't just say that cause I work there!). The guilt us mums feel over everything is ridiculous and never ending.

Well, I think you're going to have to get over this otherwise your DD is going to end up totally isolated and cut off from the normal social circle of playing at each other's houses. The kids really won't care what your house looks like and if the mums actually say anything, they're rude people tbh and not worth paying attention to. My house is scruffy and always looks like a bomb has hit it but it's the most popular house in the area for kids to come because they can relax and have fun here rather than worrying about messing up some showroom lounge or whatever. And the mums are always grateful too because the more of us there are in the network for the kids, the easier it gets for all of us.

And I've got a lot more to offer potential friends than just what my house looks like tbh...I'm an interesting person (I think!!), I'm willing to listen to and help out with problems, lend a hand when needed and so on. !!!!!! the scruffy wallpaper and 70's carpets.

The other mums will probably quite like to suck up a bit to teacher btw. And you can always turn the size of the house into a bit of a joke...if they paid you more at the school, after all, you could afford a bigger one!

ceridwen

pelirocco wrote: »

I really do get sick of this particular line , it always seems that wehave to ' do people down' who have more then us ...........It just could be that they arent in huge debt , have worked hard for what they have , and they wont lose it all !!

I get where you are coming from on this.

There will be people at all financial positions who are in debt (maybe huge debt) and those who are "living within their means" (be they large or small).

I guess the reason why people say "Well they MUST be in debt" about someone who appears to be better off than themselves is as a way for themselves to cope with the discrepancy.

I tend to think a couple of useful "rules" for dealing with the vast discrepancies in life are:
1. Never mind what they have - have I got what is a reasonable "standard of living" in comparison with the Society I live in?

2. If the answer to question 1 is "No - cant afford a decent home/cant afford any healthcare I have to pay for/cant afford to eat healthily" - then the next question is:

"How did they (ie those with more) manage it and can I copy any of the things they did to ensure they had at least a manageable standard of living?"

*****************************

Personally - for some time I've copied anything suitable I saw that "worked" until I got to a standard of living that is manageable (if not quite "normal" yet).

Look for the ladder to climb it - rather than the hook to haul anyone else down from a higher "rung" seems like a good modus operandi to me:)

[Deleted User]

It isn`t good to make assumptions about the way anyone lives, it is their choice about whether they plough all their lifetimes savings into proprty or not. I know some rich folks who live in small terraces and perhaps that is how they managed to accumulate money so that they are comfy in their old age. Anyway it is good to know your own financial limitations and to live happily within our own means

I just did a bit of looking at crocs again. I am currently wearing ag crocs (silver impregnated and a bit wider than caymans), I see they don`t do them any more so that must be why I got them at sale prices. Lol I have a suitcase full, I kid you not. I have been reading about some croc research and science into fitting and cushioning. It is very interesting. I am one of the ones who hated the look but couldn`t care less now about the look. The ultimate looks good as it caters for diabetic feet as well as sensitive feet.That is why I get the genuine article, made with the patented closed cell resin

http://www.wardwalkers.com/microscope.pdf

The more I read the more I like and a podiatrst once told me that I should wear crocs as they are so good for feet

mardatha

I think Jedi was jsut posting to friends as she was a bit down and tired at that time, she doesn't need lectures about her outlook on life - we all get down and vent sometimes. I know. I'm good at it!

paidinchickens

Morning peeps!

Regarding people with "posh" houses..... Up ere in Prada Hills we have a fair few detached, double garage 5/6 bed houses. Some of the people were a little stuck up and some of the children had issues with "poorer" children. One boy did not really speak to my DS as we lived in a semi :rotfl: Then one day he called round (no one else to play with) and we were on our way to collect the rent from our other house and when he found out he said to my son "why don't you tell people you have two houses?" and then it was ok for him to have my son as a friend.

We went to a high rise party a while ago (all hubbys high ranking bosses) and one of the ladies there was going on about houses and when I said I had £64 000 left to pay on the mortgage she told me that wasn't a mortgage that was an overdraft or a personal loan :eek: her hubby though was talking to my DH pulling his hair out about money and how they were going to afford to pay for their house much longer. Stop ya mrs spending all your money I thought to myself.

But then there has been a lot of people move out of their big houses due to divorce, which is always sad to see in any circumstances. Some have lost theirs due to losing their jobs and some have been old people who have lost their husband or wife and had to move in with relatives.These houses are taking for ever to sell as no one can afford them so I can only guess the financial mess this is causing for them.

I think what I am trying to say is that yes there are some people with their noses up in the air attitude. And some people here will only marry within a certain salary bracket, but there are those who have worked all their lives and struggled. As in all walks of life there are the good, bad and indifferent.

We have all the kids round our little semi! in fact most of the time we can't get rid of them. My DH said its my fault they are always round as I make eye contact and talk to them :rotfl::rotfl:

suzid

Oh for goodness sake, you lot have now got me drooling over a pair of Blitzen Polar Crocs :eek::D. They look so comfy and snug for the winter, but it's just when I've had to spend a small fortune on DS, getting him new clothes as his jeans have been repaired many times and he really needed new for Uni. Plus the car need two new tyres. Wonder if Santa will listen to my pleading :think:

Although the amount I have spent of DS made me gulp, it could have been a lot worse as several items were in the sale, another two on offer and the whole lot had 20% off. He hardly ever has new clothes, hates shopping and no interest in fashion, just comfort and warmth in the winter months, so I count myself very lucky.

All this talk of fridges and repairs in general got me remembering an old fridge, 1959 model, I had 21 years ago (ex got custody of it as I needed a bigger one). When that broke down it was the thermostat and although it was too old for a genuine part, the repair man was able to fit a similar one which kept it working for many years. Our Skandinova broke down two years ago and we also looked at what the shops had to offer and I wasn't at all impressed. The energy consumption on ours is 0.70 kWh/24hrs according to it's handbook which is pretty impressive. Also it's built like a tank compared to the newer ones. DH did a test to see if the motor was still working, which it was, so we ordered a new thermostat (espares) and I fitted it myself (with some trepidation). It's been doing it's duty ever since and I don't care that it looks a bit battered and the handle was replaced by a piece of wood years ago when it broke.

You'd have had a good laugh watching me cut the lawn this week. It wasn't so frog infested after the wind, so I had to s l o w l y rake it over to ease any little ones into the borders. Carefully cut around the trees and then nurse the poor mower through the undergrowth while keeping watch for anything hopping. Lost track of the number I had to relocate and it took all morning just to cut the bloomin' grass! Looks so much better now and I'm not aware of any casualties, except one which either thunder paws or I stood on . Since then been pulling out dead fox gloves and planting spring bulbs.

I think I've become addicted to baked apple and custard. Well you have to do something with the fallings don't you? They go all gloriously mushy and mmmmmmmmmm!

Jedi (((hugs))) and please keep posting. I know just how you felt, apart from being a teacher that is. Everything seems so much worse when you're tired and you've been through such a lot recently, take care of yourself chick.

paidinchickens

100 days til Christmas :eek:

Pink.

paidinchickens wrote: »

100 days til Christmas :eek:

I refuse to think about Christmas until Halloween is over. If the preparations are too drawn out then I find I am sick of it before it begins.

I love the month of December with all the hustle and bustle and madness involved in the preparations, then I really love the Christmas holidays (we both take two weeks leave) to relax, chill in front of the fire, play games and go for long wintery walks with the children.

Pink