July 2013 Brides and Grooms

laura_hoggle

Justengaged- sorry to hear you are having to postpone, but hopefully it will work out to be even more amazing for you. Good luck and I might be nosey over on the 2014 boards to see how you get on.

Lisajane- I'm sorry to hear about the money being a bit short. Hopefully the chat with your mum will help. I think your idea about the day time do and going into the lounge sounds good. Maybe you could aim for another reception on your first anniversary or something? I don't want to sound like a preacher, but have you had a look on the other boards on here, like the old style moneysaving, debt free wannabes etc? I know that £900 isn't exactly an easy amount of money to find, but there might be a few things that may help? Sorry if I'm telling you things you already know!

We still haven't done a lot more. Been looking at hotels for guests and found a good deal so let people know, but as far as I know one of the bridesmaids is the only one who has booked it. Not looking to nearer the time when there's nothing around or its all expensive- we did give them this option!

Still not booked chair covers. Had some colour samples from the recommended company (the chairs at the venue are bigger than average so we know they fit!) but still not sure. Haven't contacted the string quartet again either. Got given some money and vouchers for my birthday last week so have bought some make up to try and put more towards the cake. Also got some Capital Bonds vouchers in the post from one of the survey websites I use, which will go towards the suits.

Lisa how are you getting on with 'The Shred'? I started it on Tuesday, have so far only done it twice. The second time definitely felt easier! I'm hoping to do it every other day to begin with due to the way my shifts are at work. I struggled to get out of bed on the 2nd day, so it's obviously done something!!!

Justengaged

Lisajane, sorry to hear about potentially having to postpone, I know it worked ok for us, but having family coming from America is a big deal, so you're within your rights to be upset.

You didn't say why he wanted to postpone it, so not sure if it's jitters or not, but if it's not that and just financial and you've only £300 to use then perhaps you could use that and stretch it as much as possible.

Perhaps you could email all guests, and ask that if they haven't decided on a present for you for the wedding, would they like to pick a present from a list of things that you now can't afford yourselves. It might help you get abit more money towards your wedding, and your relatives may be thrilled that they can make your happy day even better by contributing.

lisajane8482

Thanks Laura and justengaged.

It's just the money issue, were around £900 short for the day. I went through the costs with my mum and dropped a few things and got the costs down but to be honest at the moment I really can't see it going ahead as now he's unsure if he could save anything and we've cut everything we can.

I've told him that if he doesn't want to get married then all he has to do is say and he reckons thats not it, if we could postpone until next year then he would make sure we have the money.

I've told OH that I won't be marrying him unless my family from the US were there and that they wouldn't come again if we postponed (their tickets are booked and they can't get a refund so they will be coming either way). I do feel childish for being rather unreasonable but having ALL my family there means the world to me. If they weren't coming over then things would have been different but they took the time and the money to come over to be there and if they can't be there then it wouldn't be the same.

I'm not sure if throwing the last 5 years of our lives away over a wedding is the right thing to do but I'm worried that as our friends all get married I may end up resenting him. I've spent the last 18 months looking forward to becoming his wife and put all my energy in to organising the day and I am really unsure if I would be truely happy spending the rest of our lives as a cohabiting couple. I guess I have a lot of thinking to do.

Justengaged

Men, they can be so infuriating... I'm not helping saying that (and perhaps I'm being biased), but my first reaction is to say it doesnt sound like he's making much of an effort.

I really don't think that some men realise how much of a big thing this is for women, and it can be devastating when they don't seem to share your passion for weddings - I'm going through battles with my wedding arrangements, and it's always me that ends up upset.

It sounds like you may have already done this, but only thing I can suggest is sitting him down, in a none confrontational way and asking him what he thinks you should do, as you really want to get married this year and that you're sorry (yep even say that, you don't have to mean it) but next year isn't an option.

If he's not coming up with suggestions then, to me that just means his hearts not really in it, and there's something else thats driving it.

Him being annoying aside though, what things have you had to compromise, perhaps us fellow MSE-ers can help find you something cheaper to help with the cost abit - someone may have a complete brain wave you've not thought of yet.

lisajane8482

Thanks justengaged, I keep thinking that I may be over reacting.

We sat down and talked although to be fair I did most of the talking and OH just sat there looking at me like a child would when being told off. I took him through the changes my mum and I had made to the wedding plans (basically family only for the day time, no arrival drinks, although there will be 6 bottles of wine on the table, and rather than a buffet on the night we're just having nibbles now). I explained that the only way we could have that was if he gave me £40 a week until the end of March (to be sure we have the money before the invitations go out), we've agreed that if he can afford more then he will give it to me and at the end of March we will look to see if we could add a few more people back on to the guest list.

He said he wanted to have the day we had originally planned and had hoped that if he was awkward I would agree to postponing. He said although he doesn't really understand it he realises that my family are very important to me (he's not close to his family) and that he didn't think that having my family who are coming over there would mean so much. He also appologised for wasting his money when he had it instead of putting some away.

So at the moment it's back on as long as OH sticks to what he has agreed. At least now we both have a target date to meet, hopefully OH will stick to it.

Thank you for listening to my rant, I haven't really spoke to anyone (besides my mum) as most would tell me he's not worth it, you could do bettter, blah blah blah.

I hope all you plans go really well and you have a lovely day Justengaged, I shall be following your posts until the big day

wendz86

Glad you managed to talk to your OH and come up with a plan LisaJane. I think men just don't seem to understand sometimes.

I would be the same as you and my family are very important so think your ideas to cut down to make sure you can still have the wedding are good.

Not much news here, have been printing bits out for the invitations. Need to go and buy more card but dont fancy driving to the shop in the snow so will get it in the next couple of weeks. I am hoping to get them out by end of feb/begining of march if i can get them done.

laura_hoggle

Right, after attempting for a couple of days to post on here using my tablet only for it to lose what I'd typed, and my netbook constantly crashing, am using OH's laptop, hopefully this will be more successful!

Lisa - glad to hear you managed to sit down and have a proper chat with him. Sounds like he is disappointed in himself for not managing to save, in that he was hoping if he was awkward you would agree to postpone. It sounds like he really wants you to have the day you deserve, but he had struggled to help make it happen and was annoyed with himself. Your money saving ideas sound good, and could easily be changed if you do have a little more money when it comes to sending out the invites.

We ordered our invites at the weekend, got them on Vistaprint. Hopefully they will be ok! I was thinking of sending them out sometime in March, although this will depend on how long it takes for them to get here and as long as they are ok!

My mum is starting to get worried about getting my dress altered, as I haven't actually done anything about it yet and it is now less than 6 months away. It is only the length that needs altering and she has the phone number of someone my cousin has recommended, but I think I'll need to get underwear first, which I'm going to try and do tomorrow. Also, I'm not sure if my dress needs a hoop or not! As I'm using OH's laptop I don't really want to risk posting a link to the website to show a photo or anything in case I can't delete it from the history, otherwise I'd ask for opinions! I didn't try it on with a hoop in the shop and it fell nicely, and also when I tried it on again to show my MOH. I guess I need to try it on again and see!

OH has made a list of names for his stag do, and I've done the same for my hen do, and we have passed them onto the BM/MOH. I'm a bit worried what my MOH will do with mine, as I organised hers a few years ago and we went to a male cabaret/strip show....I should have thought at the time she would be looking for payback!!!:rotfl:

Justengaged

Yay, so glad it seemed to work out. Made me laugh when you said he sat there like a child being told off.... exactly what my OH does.

Lately though, he's started saying "honey, I love you" as soon as he knows he's in trouble and then puppy dog eyes me... it works and I can't be mad, but geez he's a nightmare lol.

If you ever need a chat, thats what we're here for, all the ups and downs that no one else will understand :grouphug:

Have actually booked the location for the ceremony now, was abit surprise how much the actual service and legal bit all costs, but then I guess I've never done this before and wasn't really sure what to expect.

Have also been eyeing up some other stuff as well, and grabbin free cake at wedding fayres too, there's a bonus to all the craziness that weddings bring with them

Justengaged

Update on location - the bugg'ers emailed me and said they'd double book me so I can't have it now at all!!! :mad:

Clearly not meant to be, so any suggestions on nice outdoor places (that aren't mega expensive) for Haywards Heath/ Brighton area please please let me know.

ktbainbridge

Spencer_Li wrote: »

We're getting married on 27th July 2013 at Turkey Mill in Kent.

That's 2 years tomorrow!

That's our date too, and we're getting married in Kent!:beer: