ungrateful rels wanting receipts for present returns

elona

That sounds really generous and thoughtful to me.

My youngest will soon be 13 and she would have been very pleased with this - or even just one of these.

tawnyowls

What an appalling cow your SIL sounds. Don't give money - if you do, you'll be compared directly with everyone else (and some peopee seem to think £100 is minimum these days, even if you've got loads of people to buy for).

As you're an aunt, you're excused from having the pressies there on Christmas morning, so I would buy the stuff, turn up whenever you're on your next visit with them (always much more appreciated when things turn up unexpectedly), and insist on playing with the kids and their new stuff. Craft stuff is always a good bet - can't return it if it's been used!

liz.._4

tawnyowls wrote:

What an appalling cow your SIL sounds. Don't give money - if you do, you'll be compared directly with everyone else (and some peopee seem to think £100 is minimum these days, even if you've got loads of people to buy for).

As you're an aunt, you're excused from having the pressies there on Christmas morning, so I would buy the stuff, turn up whenever you're on your next visit with them (always much more appreciated when things turn up unexpectedly), and insist on playing with the kids and their new stuff. Craft stuff is always a good bet - can't return it if it's been used!

I think you've hit the nail on the head, I wonder if she thinks I should be giving more than what I do?

missysx

i think what your SIL did was quite rude... she could of atleast explained to you why she felt the need to return the items.

i am the oldest of 21 grandchildren and i have 2 kids of my own..
one thing the family always did when we were younger and do for my kids now is get us to write a list of things we'd like (normally from the argos cat as my grandparents buy most of their stuff from there).
we would write a list of about 10 items and then aunts, uncles and grandparents would contact my mum and choose something from the list..
when there are 5 of you, it makes life alot easier for relatives, rather than buying things we didn't want/like..

maybe next year you could ask her for a list of items, which you could then choose from...

but personally i didn't see anything wrong with what you brought.

squashy

I do think it is VERY rude of her to ask for the receipts, and bad manners not to thank the OP for the thought. She should have kept shtum and either given them to charity or tried to exchange them without the receipt herself (many shops allow this especially after xmas)

Incedentally, my mum always gives me a sealed envelope containing the receipts, that way if I really hate it I can take it back without causing her offence. Maybe that's an idea? Failing that don't get them anyhting next year!

Ali_UK

It sounds to me like it's time to knock the gift giving on the head. It's always quite hard to do but when gifts aren't appreciated in any sense then what is the point of wasting time and effort (and cash!) on the ungrateful?

How about you phrase it something like it's getting harder each year to chose appropriate gifts and therefore you feel it would be wise to stop buying gifts or for the children to chose a store and you will buy them a (small) gift token for them.

AND....while we're here...whatever happened to that old tradition of kids writing thank you letters for their gifts, or thank you letters saying what they bought with the cash/voucher?? I'm a big grown up girl now but ALWAYS make a point of telling people what I used it for!

Chas

liz.. wrote:

I got her pre teen dd a set of hair straighteners and dvd and a pc game..

They SOUND like great gifts, BUT ..... which dvd? maybe she has it already or maybe it was too young/old for her? same with the pc game - maybe she already has it or perhaps it was an old game that doesn't work on their computer?

and as for the straighteners, trust me, they might sound great on the box but 90% of straighteners don't work very well.

Chas

Ali_UK wrote:

AND....while we're here...whatever happened to that old tradition of kids writing thank you letters for their gifts, or thank you letters saying what they bought with the cash/voucher?? I'm a big grown up girl now but ALWAYS make a point of telling people what I used it for!

I always had to write thank you letters as a child & my children always do the same. When they were tiny I did the letters on their behalf, then they progressed to signing them themselves, then writing them.

We make an afternoon of making the letters & it's great fun.

chickadee

Nobody seems to have mentioned your brother. Why not ask him about the kids' presents? Doesn't he have any input into this? It might be an indirect way of finding out what has happened without having to have a stand-off with the SIL.

I do agree with you though, I think people have lost all of their manners and it is all about the presents and/or cash. What a sad state of affairs.

givememoney

I always keep the receipts ready for exchanges.

It doesn't worry me in the least. In fact I would rather people took the item back and got something they were going like rather than toss the gift aside and not use it.

In our family we always ask each what we would like and try to be specific. In some cases this doesn't always work and then the receipts come in handy. The only think I wouldn't want to do, is traipse back to shop with them myself.

I hate the idea of waste, this means more to me than someone not being overwhelmed with the gift I have bought.