ungrateful rels wanting receipts for present returns

missysx

Ali_UK wrote:

AND....while we're here...whatever happened to that old tradition of kids writing thank you letters for their gifts, or thank you letters saying what they bought with the cash/voucher?? I'm a big grown up girl now but ALWAYS make a point of telling people what I used it for!

my 6 and 4 year old wrote thank you letters. (well my 6 year old wrote them... my 4 year old is only just writing his name, but they were from both of them).
slightly off topic.. i hate it when kids don't say please or thank you.
my kids are raised with manners and as my nan says, manners don't cost anything!

misty

My son is 5 and he knows that if he gets a present he already has or isn't keen on - he pretends he does like it because "it might hurt their feelings if you say something". If he has a duplicate - I will try and return and swao it for something else - but the original buyer doesn't know.

He also writes (part writes) thankyou letters - I try and mention what was bought and refer to it rather than just a general mention of gift - so they know we appreciate it. A bit of nightmare when he had his birthday party - couldn't remeber who got what and so it was a general thankyou.


When my nephews were younger - my sister went upstairs (boxing day) and heard them talking Nephew2 was saying - I didn't really want this - Nephew1 replied just put it there with the things I didn't really want!

My son has appreciated his Xmas presents but has spent the last 2 days cutting, drawing on, sticking things on and attaching things to some cardboard tubes from the wrapping paper.

Smiley_Mum

liz.. wrote:

I think you've hit the nail on the head, I wonder if she thinks I should be giving more than what I do?

Perhaps she wanted to return the items and get the refund and then buy something of a lesser value for her daughter and pocket the rest. Does that sound right? Heck if I got hair straighteners, a DVD and a PC game at that age I'd be delighted. Your relation sounds like a total b!tch to me, poor you!!

Also when it comes to kids saying Thank you, I always make a point of calling the people who have given them gifts and let my kids chat and say Thank you etc for their gifts. Some kids nowadays get so much stuff, they just don't appreciate the value of things.

ictmad

Ali_UK wrote:

AND....while we're here...whatever happened to that old tradition of kids writing thank you letters for their gifts, or thank you letters saying what they bought with the cash/voucher?? I'm a big grown up girl now but ALWAYS make a point of telling people what I used it for!

my parents always encouraged me+my sister to write"thank you" letters, i still do it,but my sisters eldest son has never bothered,pretty rude if you ask me,even a e-mail would be suffice

sandieb

I have given gifts in the past saying "If it's not quite right, let me know as I have the receipt" (size may have been wrong, it may not have been to the person's taste, present may have been duplication - it happens)

This last Christmas I adopted the "present for a fiver" approach which, I have to say, was successful. If the presents were totally unsuitable (which I hope they weren't - I gave them a lot of thought) then it was not a huge waste. Cheaper for everyone - we all have what we need and really we all have "too much stuff".

Chocmonster7

Tell her you bought them on either Ebay or the local charity shop as you know she is a bargain hunter too...

Justie

it's a tricky one.

kids have so much stuff that it's easy to duplicate or buy them something that whilst well meant will just languish in a cupboard and end up being thrown out. Personally I'd rather give something that's loved but it requires a lot of negotiation with both child and parents to work out what. And if in doubt I enclose a gift receipt.

It seems that a lot of the OP's hurt is because there was no gratitude shown - 'they were lovely gifts, thank you, but s/he won't use them so would you mind if we change them' would have gone a long way to reducing the hurt...

marleyboy

Id tell her to put them away til the kids Birthdays, so you can concentrate on giving the next gifts to a more worthy charity.

roses

You will all probably hate me for this but whenever I get presents, most of the time I take them back to the shop to exchange them for something else as most of the time I hate the gifts people get me!

As a leaving gift from work, I got a book on art & a bottle of champagne. I don't even drink so I took those back for an exchange. Lucky they were both shop branded so I knew where they were from.

Whilst I knew the intentions were good & I did appreciate the thought, they just weren't for me.

I wouldn't give your sister in law such a hard time. Does she have a gift for sounding ungrateful in general? She might not intentionally mean it in that way, that might be just the way she talks.

chickenlady_3

lush_walrus wrote:

I have to say that I am completely shocked at the number of people opposed to taking back or having others ask to take back presents! If its not what you want or what the other person wants then it is a total waste of money. Personally, I would be more annoyed if someone kept something I brought them and then flung it in the back of a cupboard till the next spring clean than someone who is honest enough to say thanks but not what I want!. How moneysaving is keeping presents that will never be used?

But then, maybe I am missing something?

Do you think your SIL is just wanting to return the gifts to annoy you? Or to get the money and give the children nothing? If that is the case then its a very different thing. Have you tried talking to the actual children and seeing what they say about the presents?

Maybe next year speak to your SIL before buying the presents and ask what the children have asked for presents and buy that. Thats what we do with our nephews, every year they get exactly what they want.

But wouldn't it be better to get a few ideas in advance? My family always ask for some ideas and we all agree to spend around £10-15. I get the kids to write a list of things they might like and pass it on - we all do the same, adults too. You still don't know what you will get so there is still the element of surprise, and we all know we are buying the kind of things that will be appreciated.

I have taken presents back if they didn't fit or were duplicates, but agree that it is rather rude and ungrateful to do as your SIL did.