17 year old son being bullied by boss

SarEl

bluenoseam wrote: »

Firstly, i'd missed post 50!

Most stuff that goes on in a kitchen wouldn't be tollerated by most workplaces, same with other walks of life, but ultimately it does go on in a fair few kitchens - and goes on in other walks of life too. While it's true that i don't like some things that happen, i do think that 50 years ago my grandparents would laugh at stuff which gets frowned upon these days and well, that's not always a good thing, there's a generation of people who in my eyes are a bit soft, but not everyone's got the same standpoint as me, there's a fine line between bullying & criticism unfortunately that line is also based heavily on opinion - and we all know the old saying about that! I've worked in a retail position where the only difference between this story & my store was the slap - and boys & girls that was a well known high street retailer, whereby the boss would regularly berate work on the shop floor & ride his AM & Supervisor infront of other staff, it happens in all walks of life and well, shock horror, it's tollerated.

But i think it's a big lesson for the kid involved - while i'm sure SarEl won't agree with me in what i'm about to say, sometimes as a junior worker you HAVE to put things straight, yes you're a junior worker but that doesn't mean that management have a divine right to anything, poor managers (like we've seen here) make enough mistakes that you can easilly point out their hypocracy. The difference between a good manager & a poor manager is the ability to know when they're wrong or out of order & be able to take being told so properly, and sometimes that often requires being brutal in the way it's put.

Actually, if you read my posts then I actually said that the OP's son both has to decide what to do and to do it himself - which he has. My problem is that unlike you I appear to understand the difference between criticism and bullying....

Criticism = "Sonny, you aren't working fast enough and things aren't getting done, you have no idea and are utterly hopeless"

Bullying = "You are f****ing useless" accompanied by a slap.

See, easy - no fine line at all.

By the way - there is a third option. Critique = "We have a busy and demanding workplace, and sometimes you seem to struggle to keep up. Now it takes time to adjust to the pressure I know, and I have noticed that you are very good at getting the sauteed vegetables perfect, but it would really help if they were started a little better on timing so that they are done at the same time as the meat. Is there something that is getting in the way of this happening and how can we make sure that it happens just right in future".

You are expecting a 17 year old to show maturity in his actions (which, by the way, I think he did by telling his mother - cos what 17 year old lad wants to tell his parents he doesn't know everything? - by asking her for advice, and by then tackling the situation himself) - what a shame nobody is expecting a foul mouthed abusive adult to show some maturity.

GothicStirling

I said this before, but I'll repeat it. People who have never worked in a kitchen can't appreciate how stressful and high pressure an workplace it is - and the heat makes it worse.

Can you even imagine what it's like serving 150 covers [that's three courses per customer, so that's 450 plates over three hours]? Customers may be paying £25 for a steak, and they expect high standards, so complaints never go down well in that environment.

And if you haven't guessed it, a kitchen is a very masculine environment, filled with male egos to boot.

SarEl

GothicStirling wrote: »

I said this before, but I'll repeat it. People who have never worked in a kitchen can't appreciate how stressful and high pressure an workplace it is - and the heat makes it worse.

Can you even imagine what it's like serving 150 covers [that's three courses per customer, so that's 450 plates over three hours]? Customers may be paying £25 for a steak, and they expect high standards, so complaints never go down well in that environment.

And if you haven't guessed it, a kitchen is a very masculine environment, filled with male egos to boot.

And repeating it makes it right does it? I will also repeat myself - there is never any excuse for bullying or abusive behaviour towards staff.

Sambucus_Nigra

GothicStirling wrote: »

I said this before, but I'll repeat it. People who have never worked in a kitchen can't appreciate how stressful and high pressure an workplace it is - and the heat makes it worse.

And how does slapping a staff member assist in this?

Swearing I can understand - but assault?

If a chef loses his cool that much, then it's him that can't stand the heat and needs to get out of the kitchen - and if he's also the owner he needs to employ himself a different head chef.

juliettelixora

SarEl wrote: »

And repeating it makes it right does it? I will also repeat myself - there is never any excuse for bullying or abusive behaviour towards staff.

abusive manners is the reason if a person keeps bullying someone. And this happens on workplaces were your temper and patience is put on the line.

GothicStirling

I'm not condoning it, but the reality is that it happens. It's the reality of working in catering.

As they say: 'If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.'

baybeebug

GothicStirling wrote: »

I said this before, but I'll repeat it. People who have never worked in a kitchen can't appreciate how stressful and high pressure an workplace it is - and the heat makes it worse.

Can you even imagine what it's like serving 150 covers [that's three courses per customer, so that's 450 plates over three hours]? Customers may be paying £25 for a steak, and they expect high standards, so complaints never go down well in that environment.

And if you haven't guessed it, a kitchen is a very masculine environment, filled with male egos to boot.

You should try working A&E on a friday/saturday night!!


I have worked in kitchen (used to be a restaurant manager) and my chefs have never behaved like that to my staff yes they have shouted at themselves and sworn but never bullied or assaulted anyone.
The only time I ever saw one of my chef really loss his temper was when a customer was so rude to one of the waiting staff that they made them cry I had to stop him going out front and sorting the guy out!