17 year old son being bullied by boss

bluenoseam

Hate to say it, but that sort of thing (being shown up) isn't limited to kitchens either. But here's the thing, while you might not like that fact, it happens, also at 17 he might legally be a minor, but if his Mum starts fighting his battles for him it doesn't matter how much of a nutter the chef is, he'll never be respected - that's more than old enough to stick up for yourself and tell the chef to f*ck off which is what's needed here.

amibovvered

bluenoseam wrote: »

if his Mum starts fighting his battles for him it doesn't matter how much of a nutter the chef is, he'll never be respected - that's more than old enough to stick up for yourself and tell the chef to f*ck off which is what's needed here.

But that's exactly what he did, isn't it? Unless I'm reading this wrong, mum came on here for advice, but it is the son himself who tackled his boss, not his mum?

bluenoseam

amibovvered wrote: »

But that's exactly what he did, isn't it? Unless I'm reading this wrong, mum came on here for advice, but it is the son himself who tackled his boss, not his mum?

As far as i can see it he hasn't yet tackled his boss and could have asked himself, i understand his mum is asking on his behalf as she clearly has an account here. The point remains though that all this "report this do that" is not going to stop the problem, neither will telling the chef to take a flying f*ck to himself, but what it will do is prove the boy has cojones which makes him less likely to be singled out.

SarEl

bluenoseam wrote: »

As far as i can see it he hasn't yet tackled his boss and could have asked himself, i understand his mum is asking on his behalf as she clearly has an account here. The point remains though that all this "report this do that" is not going to stop the problem, neither will telling the chef to take a flying f*ck to himself, but what it will do is prove the boy has cojones which makes him less likely to be singled out.

Post #50???

GothicStirling

I remember my first job in a kitchen. I was regularly called a !!!!wit by the chef. Though he was nothing on the michelin star chef I worked with last year. But by then I was too good to be picked out for ritual humiliation.

amibovvered

newmrslockwood wrote: »

My son decided to confront the said chef! and he has agreed to lay off a bit!

Yes, he has tackled his boss!

olias

Not really any help to the OP, but......

I have just laughed and laughed at some of these comments 'you need a set of steel balls to work in a kitchen', 'This kind of behaviour is normal/accepatable in a kitchen because is a highly pressurised environment' etc etc.

It's cooking for goodness sake - meat and two veg in a fancy gravy - nothing more! Sure there is obviously a bit of stress and pressure to get dishes out on time to a certain standard, but please!

I used to be in the police - dealt with everything from confronting 6'6" thugs in dark alleys hell bent on beating the !!!!!! out of me, to being the first on the scene at a punch up involving 60 violent aggresive drunks and being expected to wade in and deal with them, or picking up the pieces (literally) when someone has blown their heads off with a shotgun, whilst trying to stop their hysterical wife or daughter getting into the room and seeing it.

I never felt the need to start calling my junior officers c**ts, or to start slapping them around the head if I wasn't happy with what they were doing!

I'm sure those in the military, or any one of a thousand other stressful jobs would say the same.

Balls of steel to saute some potatos............don't make me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olias

SarEl

olias wrote: »

Not really any help to the OP, but......

I have just laughed and laughed at some of these comments 'you need a set of steel balls to work in a kitchen', 'This kind of behaviour is normal/accepatable in a kitchen because is a highly pressurised environment' etc etc.

It's cooking for goodness sake - meat and two veg in a fancy gravy - nothing more! Sure there is obviously a bit of stress and pressure to get dishes out on time to a certain standard, but please!

I used to be in the police - dealt with everything from confronting 6'6" thugs in dark alleys hell bent on beating the !!!!!! out of me, to being the first on the scene at a punch up involving 60 violent aggresive drunks and being expected to wade in and deal with them, or picking up the pieces (literally) when someone has blown their heads off with a shotgun, whilst trying to stop their hysterical wife or daughter getting into the room and seeing it.

I never felt the need to start calling my junior officers c**ts, or to start slapping them around the head if I wasn't happy with what they were doing!

I'm sure those in the military, or any one of a thousand other stressful jobs would say the same.

Balls of steel to saute some potatos............don't make me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olias

Thank you so much for a sensible contribution! I have been torn somewhere in between amazed and appalled at how easily some posters have found it to excuse bullying that would not be tolerated in other workplaces, simply because this is a kitchen and the chef is an "artist". Workplace "culture" is no excuse for the inexcusable.

custardy

olias wrote: »

Not really any help to the OP, but......

I have just laughed and laughed at some of these comments 'you need a set of steel balls to work in a kitchen', 'This kind of behaviour is normal/accepatable in a kitchen because is a highly pressurised environment' etc etc.

It's cooking for goodness sake - meat and two veg in a fancy gravy - nothing more! Sure there is obviously a bit of stress and pressure to get dishes out on time to a certain standard, but please!

I used to be in the police - dealt with everything from confronting 6'6" thugs in dark alleys hell bent on beating the !!!!!! out of me, to being the first on the scene at a punch up involving 60 violent aggresive drunks and being expected to wade in and deal with them, or picking up the pieces (literally) when someone has blown their heads off with a shotgun, whilst trying to stop their hysterical wife or daughter getting into the room and seeing it.

I never felt the need to start calling my junior officers c**ts, or to start slapping them around the head if I wasn't happy with what they were doing!

I'm sure those in the military, or any one of a thousand other stressful jobs would say the same.

Balls of steel to saute some potatos............don't make me laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Olias

so theres no bullying in the Police or military then?
ist police work just paperwork and doing the odd bit of walking in the street
its dealing with the odd shoplifter isnt it?

bluenoseam

Firstly, i'd missed post 50!

Most stuff that goes on in a kitchen wouldn't be tollerated by most workplaces, same with other walks of life, but ultimately it does go on in a fair few kitchens - and goes on in other walks of life too. While it's true that i don't like some things that happen, i do think that 50 years ago my grandparents would laugh at stuff which gets frowned upon these days and well, that's not always a good thing, there's a generation of people who in my eyes are a bit soft, but not everyone's got the same standpoint as me, there's a fine line between bullying & criticism unfortunately that line is also based heavily on opinion - and we all know the old saying about that! I've worked in a retail position where the only difference between this story & my store was the slap - and boys & girls that was a well known high street retailer, whereby the boss would regularly berate work on the shop floor & ride his AM & Supervisor infront of other staff, it happens in all walks of life and well, shock horror, it's tollerated.

But i think it's a big lesson for the kid involved - while i'm sure SarEl won't agree with me in what i'm about to say, sometimes as a junior worker you HAVE to put things straight, yes you're a junior worker but that doesn't mean that management have a divine right to anything, poor managers (like we've seen here) make enough mistakes that you can easilly point out their hypocracy. The difference between a good manager & a poor manager is the ability to know when they're wrong or out of order & be able to take being told so properly, and sometimes that often requires being brutal in the way it's put.