Real life MMD: Should I stop my 10% charity payment?

SunnyBrighton_2

If I decided to live in a bigger house, then I wouldn't have spare disposable income either.

You need to decide your priorities - do you want to live a a big house and have no disposable income so you can't tithe, or do you want to continue to support your church by getting a smaller place, smaller mortgage and have more disposable income from which you can tithe?

And then of course, disposable income isn't a fixed description. Alcohol, ready meals, cigs, car, holidays, meat, super-fast internet, paid-for-tv programs ..... the list is endless .... some people would consider their disposable income to be what is left over after all these necessities(?) are paid for ..... one man's necessities are another man's extravagances.

It's difficult to comment sensibly when, apart from what you chose to share, your circumstances are largely unknown.

bylromarha

I tithe too. When times were really tough we still tithed. Givin 10% of not very much wasn't difficult as there was nothin to give out of. I still cannot tell u how we paid the mortgage and bills for the 6 months OH and I had no work and didn't claim benefits but we did it.

God is good and provides for our needs. He did for us and will for u too. Remember tho needs differ from wants.

He also loves a cheerful giver so a temporary tithe reduction given cheerfully is a better solution than reluctantly givin 10% imo. Why not pray about it?

paulyb2008

I don't need or want further info, but if this is a moral question, then consider who or what was the primary reason for divorce. If it's the ex-wife, then you should stop payments guilt-free, if it was you who was at fault then consider carrying at a reduced contribution. I'm not religious, but since you clearly are, these options could ease your burden of guilt (of not paying) which appears in equal measure to your burden of finance, otherwise you wouldn't feel the need for help. All the best to you and your ex.

ripongrammargirl

It never ceases to amaze me that people think things like this are a dilemma!! If you can't afford it then stop paying!! This applies to absolutely everything, and is also the MSE mantra. Why do you need others to tell you that if you do not have the money for something then you should not purchase? This person needs to grow up, think logically and stop spending what they have not got.

CLGoggin

ripongrammargirl wrote: »

It never ceases to amaze me that people think things like this are a dilemma!! If you can't afford it then stop paying!! This applies to absolutely everything, and is also the MSE mantra. Why do you need others to tell you that if you do not have the money for something then you should not purchase? This person needs to grow up, think logically and stop spending what they have not got.

But it's not 'purchasing' something, it's giving. If we all said "I don't need charity so I won't give to charity" then the world would be a much worse place. The whole idea of a percentage is that you have got some in the first place - 10% of nothing is nothing so if someone literally has no money, then their tithe would be £0. The idea of tithing is not about 'spending' it's about giving. And, for Christians, its about recognising that the only reason we have anything (air, common sense, the ability to work and earn etc) is because God provided that for us. So really, it's giving back what is already His, in faith that He will continue to provide. I do get that it's hard to understand if it's not something you're used to, but this isn't so much about being illogical as it is about trusting in God. Personally seems more of a moral dilema than a financial one - if he was looking at it from purely a financial point of view, I would agree with you, but from what's he's said, it's also about his faith.

Topher_Bear

Hmm. Lots of comments. What could I possibly add?

First of all, ignore comments made by non-christians here. They don't understand the dilemna...after all would you ask a non-Christian if you should pray? or what a particular biblical passage would mean?

Ultimately this is something between you and God. I will only tell you a few things to hopefully get you thinking.

You can get legalistic about the 10% thing. For me personally I consider all my charitable givings to come under this. AFAIK the Church was one of the few organisations that actually helped those in need during biblical times, now we have many charities which look after the sick/homeless/disabled (basically those in need) and in my eyes they are doing Gods work as much as the Church is.

Also on a legalstic framework, back then they didn't pay tax and NI, therefore should you include your tax and NI as your 10% giving as it goes towards running the country as well as looking after the sick (NHS etc.)? Difficult one, because some of the modern governments work is 'Gods work', but a lot of it isn't either so is difficult fo quantify. Also it is 'forced' giving, which is not really giving at all! For me personally I ignore it and use my take-home pay as my income.

As has been mentioned several times already, God rewards you. I have often found that when I give, I get back...sometimes more than I gave! But I do agree that it can take an enormous leap of faith to give like that when things are tight. I wouldn't say that I have always come out on top. Giving away 10% of my redundancy package a few years ago (a good package too) did provide immediate assitance to my church, which was facing bankruptcy at the time, it has not help me, as I am now down a significant amount on my deposit fund, and still cannot afford to buy a house! Through the boom years it seems the greedy were rewarded the most and now even after the credit crunch, it seems the government has continued to allow the greedy to flourish (certainly not Gods work!) and the thrifty to flounder! (anyways, thats another topic!)

I'd also like to point out that most (if not all) churches do not tithe 10% themselves. Most financial reports I have seen suggest that Churches only give around 2% in charitable givings (+/-2%). I would suggest finding out how much your church gives and reduce your giving to match their giving!!

I understand the dilemna. I personally have the spiritual gift of giving, but recent years have jaded me and right now I feel far from God. I have also dramatically reduced my giving, and to be honest I feel pretty lousy about it. It doesn't fit my persona, but my financial brain tells me that we simply can't afford it, if we are to attempt to save money for a deposit for a house so that my family are not constantly being forced to move on at the whim of a landlord.

Interesting thoughts about debt and giving. that one I'll have to ruminate on.

However. When it comes to our relationship with God, the only thing that really matters is that we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Saviour. We are not saved by Good Deeds, only by our faith in Jesus. So if you get this decision wrong, it may sadden God but he will not punish you for it. And after all if we were to add up all the wrong things we've done in terms of our faith, then that would be a pretty long list, this is only one small thing. Do what you feel is right for you! Pray about it and see what answers come.

God Bless You!

TB

Humptydumpty_2

If I were you I would continue your monthly payment to your Church. After all God gives you all of your money.

guiriman

Interesting to see what people's perspective on "church" is (not really defined in the dilemma).

My wife's earnings go up and down like a yo-yo depending on what hours she gets in any given month (although she's part time so her earnings are about a third of our household income) so whilst I do give 10% to church (voluntarily, there's no specific teaching/guidance on a %) my church treasurer has no idea of how much I earn or how much of it I'm giving. In fact my giving is a bit up and down month to month (spikes up when I get a bonus or a tax rebate, down if my wife gets no work or I'm away so don't write the cheque in the month I normally would). If my giving suddenly dropped off over more than three months the most likely impact would be them checking to see I was ok, but not looking for money and if I'd gotten divorced then they'd know that already and probably already seeking how to help/support the changes that had brought.

As with many things in life I've found it most useful to set priorities when times are good so when it gets tough you're well prepared. Unfortunately too many individuals I know put foreign holidays, satellite TV, having the latest iPhone on the same level as mortgage payments and utility bills and hence "never have any money"

dee01273

You can only give to others when "your cup runneth over" Look after yourself first, then share the overflow, if you have any!

psalm23

Just take your situation to the Lord in prayer for His answer. This strengthens your relationship with him, acknowledges your dependence
on His grace and saves you from the mental anguish of trying to follow all the differing excellent advice provided by others. I was in a similar situation some years ago; housebound with three children and little income. I was blessed with the faith that God would provide for my needs Phil 4v19 and enough to give to others. It was not comfortable but we never went short. I kept up my tithing. Peace, joy and righteousness are indications of God's way, if one is missing you could check if you are doing the most appropriate thing. If you sense/feel uncomfortable with what you are giving, perhaps reduce your tithe to restore your peace, then your joy will return. At the same time asking that in due course your faith will become strengthened to give with confidence in His provision. Nothing is set in stone, your decision can be reversed at any time. Give yourself a break and do not shoulder all the responsibility as provider, go to the Source in prayer and see how generous the Lord is.