Real life MMD: Should I stop my 10% charity payment?

guiriman

JoannaS wrote: »

I don't think I read "I chose to live in a bigger house and now I can't afford to give to church!!"

They actually wrote "If I decided to live in a bigger house...", that's not quite the same as saying that this person has done that. However it is possible that the individual in question could very well live in a smaller house than the one they previously shared with their ex-wife and hence have less of a mortgage and more financial flexibility. There's really not enough detail to say (and I don't really think anyone is in a position to say). I think SunnyBrighton's point was that there are people (and I know a few) who'll go out and spend a load of money on something they could live without (eg a bigger house, flashier car) and then complain that they have no money as if it wasn't a result of their own actions.

On a side issue I think the title "Should I stop my 10% charity payment?" is a bit misleading. While many churches are charities I don't think that those who give financially to churches view them in the same bracket even if those who don't regard them as 'just another charity'.

Katie-Kat-Kins

I think the correct response has to be to seriously assess your situation.

If you can't afford to give 10% anymore then the church would not expect you to bankrupt yourself. However for the gift to be truely meaningful it is supposed to be a bit painful.

Go through your income and expenditure and see what you can afford to give without leaving yourself at risk of defaulting on your bills then amend your direct debit accordingly.

I think this is a bit different to normal charitable donations as it is part of your faith. I think that you should be looking at sacrificing a luxury or non-essential to make your donation, and that you should continue to donate however small that donation may be. The church will recognise that a small donation from someone with very limited means is a much greater gift/sacrifice than a large donation from someone who still has spare cash. £1 a week is enough if that is all you can afford, if you genuinely can't afford anything then donate your time instead, or donate your things.

How about picking a small luxury that you can give up and donate what that would cost you, your daily newspaper or monthly magazine, or buying lunch from the shop. Use the motivator tool to help you calculate this. Or consider doing the downshift challenge on your supermarket shopping and giving what you save. That way you are making a sacrifice, learning a lesson and donating money all at once.

However do not continue to donate money if you are in debt and struggling to make repayments. No one wants to see you end up a charity case! Donations of time, or skills, or items that can be sold or raffled will be equally appreciated.

dan_ord

If you can't afford to live, then don't bother with the donations. End of the day you need to look after yourself. Also i might be wrong here but don't we all pay a small bit to the church through council tax? Consider that your donation if it helps.

faithless

If you can't afford it then stop, or donate a small nominal sum if you can afford to.
Why not make a will leaving it a % of your estate instead? Or donate your time or do something else charitable, like donating blood or signing the organ donor register.

LE3

At the end of the day, most of the people here will not be Christian/familiar with tithing, so you cannot expect to receive an appropriate answer to your question.
From my perspective, I would keep up the tithe - you say that you have "very little spare money at the end of each month" which suggests that you have some left & are making ends meet.

I have been on JSA for a few months since being made redundant and even though I've only been getting £135/fortnight I made it a priority to give as much of that as I could - it wasn't quite 10%, more like 7.5% (about £5/week) but as soon as I start earning again (I start new job end August) I will up my giving once more. I'm sure 99% of the people here would say it's impossible to live on JSA, but in that time I have not gone without anything essential - the bills have been paid, as has the mortgage, I've had food on the table - ok sometimes it's not been as much choice as I would have liked but I haven't been hungry. No, I haven't had any luxuries in that time, but that's not what JSA is for! Would I have survived without giving that £5/wk? Probably. Would that £5 have made a huge difference to my life in that time? No, actually it wouldn't. Sure I could have bought an extra something here & there but it wouldn't have bought me a new car or a holiday or .... Would I have been as blessed if I hadn't given the money? Who knows ... but I doubt it ...

For me, having lived through very lean and more affluent times, I know that my charitable giving is a prority for me. You must work out what your priority is ... and do it prayerfully, not based on the comments of people who do not understand tithing/giving and feel they should put themselves first!

little_busy_bee

Hi,

i am not religious but i give 10% of my salary to charity, i was 'inspired' by a book of Peter Singer, The life you can save

i would think it would be fine to give time to help out at your church and reduce your donation accordingly

also i would think of other ways of donating without it costing you anything

i have a virgin charity credit card, so any spending on this generates a cash back which is donated to charity, and they can get tax back on this - so they get 1.06% of all spent on the card, over a period of time it can add it quite significantly

i have also been having a large clear out recently as we have downsized, is now a good time for you to assess item in the house that you could sell on ebay, or donate to church bazaar? i would not want to rush you into looking at this until you have recovered from stress of divorce.

my last question would be, have you spoken to your minster about this?

backfire

I pay 10% of my earnings to my church too. It is something that I believe is very important. God gave us everything we have, from our talents etc. which then allow us to be able to work and in turn earn an income. How selfish is it then, to begrudge God 10% of His 100% that He gave us in the first place.
At times in my life it has felt that I don't have enough money to pay my tithing, and if you look at in on paper, then things shouldn't add up - BUT, I believe that the Lord blesses those who show Faith and committment and obedience to His laws, and so, to this day, I have never suffered financially even though I give my 10%. He also blesses me in so many other ways too.
It's a no brainer to me. But talk to your Heavenly Father and your Bishop and they will guide you. Also, if you go to the same church as me, your Bishop will help you out in times of need for your welfare needs. That is what paying a tithe is all about. The help will be there for you for all you have put in over the years. God bless.:)

milvusvestal

Pardon me, but isn't this a bit of a no-brainer?

If, in budgeting your spendable income, you find that it covers essentials only, then something has to go - it's as simple as that, irrespective of who the donee is.

In this case, why not substitute your time in place of money?

cinderfella

Yes stop donating immediately. Having prepared many Church accounts I know that they are extremely wealthy in assets despite their pleas for charity raising funds.
Its not as if you are stopping funding towards an individual (sponsorship) in a third world country. Normally a child growing up who is totally dependent on your funding. Now that is a proper charity.

bcu67

dan_ord wrote: »

If you can't afford to live, then don't bother with the donations. End of the day you need to look after yourself. Also i might be wrong here but don't we all pay a small bit to the church through council tax? Consider that your donation if it helps.

Just to get a few facts correct:

Churches don't receive any money from council/government. They actually have to pay council tax just like everyone else - and VAT on all they purchase including heating. The only money they receive from the government is gift aid returns - like all charities.

Some churches do have assets. Usually the church, as well as maybe a house for ministers or pastoral/youth worker to live in - so they can pay such low wages. Older churches may have ancient trust funds but these are usually locked up and can only be spent on specific things.

The wider church also has assets but also has huge pension liabilities which at present are bigger than the assets (clergy live longer then average).

Anyway - God loves a cheerful giver, so people need to decide what they give back from what God has already given them and then give that cheerfully.