Flat dwellers: how much neighbour noise do you suffer from?

HeadInSand_2

Years ago I shared/rented a flat with a mate - above us was a really inconsiderate couple, she didn't work and he did seemingly random hours - they would have their stereo on whenever they fancied it - no matter what the time was. Along with arguing, doors slamming & TV - but the stereo was the worst offender. This went on for some time and we both had words over the weeks to no avail. One evening my friend had an early start and went to bed around 10pm, at 11pm the music started - I heard his bedroom door open, followed by our front door, followed by thudding footsteps going upstairs - followed by banging on their door - followed by some loud words being exchanged - followed by thudding going across the ceiling - followed by an abrupt end to the music - followed by a crashing noise down the stairs. Turned out he'd ripped the stereo from the wall, dragged it outside and lobbed it down the stairwell He was a large guy and quite intimidating when worked up, things were much better after that. I was concerned they might take it to the law or something but it was never mentioned again. Most amusing.

wherediditallgo

Inconsiderate behaviour by others can make the mildest of people lose their rag. I remember sitting in a train carriage years ago, & a lanky 6-footer got on & started playing his Walkman really loudly. Even though he had the earpieces in his ear, it was loud enough for several of us to hear. People tutted & shook their heads, but didn't actually say anything to him. There was an old lady sitting nect to him knitting. After what seemed an age, she calmly took a pair of scissors out of her bag & snipped the main earpiece lead, then put the scissors back in her bag & carried on knitting, all without saying a word. Job done. I could have hugged her. His face was a picture.

Mozette

Sapphire wrote: »

I lived in a big Victorian converted flat for years and everything was more or less OK, although you could hear people walking across the floor above and the house did rather shake somewhat when they did so. However, since the rooms had high ceilings, the noise wasn't too bad and didn't occur after about midnight because all the people were working professionals who went to bed at a reasonable hour.

Then about two years ago the couple next door adopted a baby (black man, white woman, caramel baby). The noise was shocking, since they converted the room next to my bedroom into the child's room. It would bawl very loudly and incessantly during the night and usually often during the day as well. I tried sleeping in the sitting room and even the conservatry, but could still hear it. I tried talking to them about it but they just got aggressive. Earplugs helped a bit - but then I didn't hear the alarm in the morning, and also you can't wear earplugs all the time you are at home. I got into a terrible state with the lack of sleep and luckily was able to move out and to a much nicer area and place.

I currently live in a Victorian maisonette. I hear nothing from next door, and the neighbours above are really quiet. Virtually the only thing I hear is their front door being slammed and a bit when they go up the stairs.

The only problem we've incurred was from a woman who lived in the house next door and had a very loud voice. In the summer she always left her windows open and one could hear her conversations.

My cousin, on the other hand, who lives in a terrace house in the New Forest, has a terrible problem with noise - a bedroom next to theirs from which there is a lot of noise, and when next door's children are out in the garden in the summer I can even hear them very clearly when my cousin is trying to speak to me over the phone. I wouldn't be very happy living with that sort of situation permanently. Luckily, they are not there all the time, since it's a second home of their parents.

I really sympathize with the posters on here who have suffered from noise problems in their homes. This sort of situation can make you ill.

I wonder what poor people living in Victorian tenements used to do? Can one ever get used to noise? I really don't think I could.

Ditto what Nicki said - I bet your neighbours were chuffed when you moved so they didn't have to live by a racist snob.

Sapphire

Nicki wrote: »

Out of interest, what did you expect this poor couple to do? A crying baby isn't the same as a barking dog. You can't send it back to the Battersea dog home or make it sleep outside in the kennel. They were probably as sleep deprived as you were, and tbh unless you were coming to them with a reasonable suggestion about something they could do to make the situation better, I'm not all that surprised they were aggressive when you complained about the noise.

I would have expected this 'poor' couple to put in soundproofing, and did suggest it to them without success. What was I supposed to do? I wasn't the one causing serious stress due to sleep deprivation to a neighbour and it was their responsibility to sort the situation out, not mine.

As a matter of fact I did look into putting in soundproofing myself, but my bedroom was tiny. It probably would not have helped much in any case, since the noise carried throughout the flat, including the conservatory.

No one should be driven out of their home because of excessive noise - and it was excessive, to the point where it was almost as though the child was bawling loudly actually in my flat, to the charming accompaniment of the woman's yelling. I don't think anyone should be expected to put up with that level of noise.

I'm not sure whether you are aware of this, but sleep deprivation is a well-known form of torture used to extract information from prisoners in some countries.

I'm sure you would have felt the same had you been in the situation I was in - it's all very well preaching to someone when you have not experienced such a truly horrible situation.

Sapphire

Mozette wrote: »

Ditto what Nicki said - I bet your neighbours were chuffed when you moved so they didn't have to live by a racist snob.

I certainly was.

Mozette

Sapphire wrote: »

I certainly was.

Damn, meant to press quote not thanks.
Sapphire, you were the one who mentioned your neighbours skin colour in your post - annoyance of a crying baby notwithstanding - is a crying mixed race baby any more or less annoying than a crying white baby, a crying black baby, a crying Asian baby etc? What we (Nicki & I) are questioning is why you felt the need to mention that it was a mixed race couple's baby that was crying???? It appears to have no relevance to your story, except that the fact just seems to extra-upset you. Hence you appear racist, and certainly a snob. Hope you don't move in by me...

olly300

Sapphire you clearly have some issues.

Crying babies or children are not noise pollution and neither Environmental Health Departments or freeholders can do anything about it. If you think the baby was in danger of abuse then you should have contacted social services.

Sapphire

Mozette wrote: »

Damn, meant to press quote not thanks.
Sapphire, you were the one who mentioned your neighbours skin colour in your post - annoyance of a crying baby notwithstanding - is a crying mixed race baby any more or less annoying than a crying white baby, a crying black baby, a crying Asian baby etc? What we (Nicki & I) are questioning is why you felt the need to mention that it was a mixed race couple's baby that was crying???? It appears to have no relevance to your story, except that the fact just seems to extra-upset you. Hence you appear racist, and certainly a snob. Hope you don't move in by me...

Well, in the similar way that an earlier poster mentioned a Lithuanian noise maker by her nationality, I mentioned the race of the noise makers in my post (I don't know their nationality). I don't recall you or anyone else taking issue with that poster for being a nationalist.

Actually, your response raises some interesting issues. I'd say that some nations (and races) are noisier than others. My brother-in-law is Turkish and I have been going to Turkey for many years. The Turks are generally more noisy than people are in Britain, since they stay up until all hours along with their children. They also tend to eat outdoors in the evenings on verandahs or balconies. However, noise doesn't seem to be such a problem there. Perhaps it's because there is a community spirit and people know each other well and tend to talk to each other with less fear than they do here? The children are also better behaved and generally bought up with better manners.

In my experience Latins, Afro-Caribbeans and Africans are generally noisier than say Scandinavians, Slavs and Indians. I don't think it is racist to point this out. Had I said that the next-door neighbours were, say, Chinese or Russian, would you have criticized me in a similar way? Some people in this country are overly sensitive to the issue of racism (due to guilt on their part because of British colonial history). The result is that no criticism at all can be directed at someone of African origin, whether they are wrong or right.

Those people gave me absolute hell and I feel very bitter about them for driving me out in the way they did - even though I am very happy living in a much nicer area now.:D

wherediditallgo

I still don't understand what the colour of the parents or the child had to do with it. I'm a black woman, & many years ago I was a black baby - if I was crying, it's because I was a crying baby, not because I was a crying black one. Does someone being mixed race mean they cry louder, more out of tune, more often? Is a crying black baby more annoying than a crying white one (memo to self - must check if a baby's cries have an accent), or is a crying black baby more annoying because it shows the couple have done the unforgivable - had sex & brought another child into the world? We've got lots of nationalitities in my family, & a wide range of colours. Perhaps I should ask them to stand up in colour order, & then ask them to wail in tone order, Sound of Music "Doh, A Deer" mixed race style.

Any sympathy people may have had for you is likely to be watered down if not removed altogether by you bringing colour into it, & the fact that you've posted after this has been queried but haven't addressed the point makes me think your issue with this family was as much to do with their racial composition as with the crying from the baby, if not more so. Shame on you. If there's any justice, your next neighbours will have sextuplets & the father will be built like the proverbial brick whatsit. You'll be the one crying then.

Sapphire

olly300 wrote: »

Sapphire you clearly have some issues.

Crying babies or children are not noise pollution and neither Environmental Health Departments or freeholders can do anything about it. If you think the baby was in danger of abuse then you should have contacted social services.

So what is a person supposed to do if they cannot sleep night after night in such a situation, and if the most polite requests are met with aggression? :eek:

I didn't say anything about a baby being in danger of abuse in my post. :cool: