Flat dwellers: how much neighbour noise do you suffer from?

wherediditallgo

BenGlancy wrote: »

So get a life, have some tolerance in our ever increasing world of flats, apartments and maisonettes, and accept that noise is a part of life in the city/town.

Noise is, disturbance isn't. There's a lot of noise that, given a bit of consideration by the person making it, wouldn't reach the point of disturbance, such as the pillocks who can't resist playing with their car horns in the early hours of the morning, the people who don't seem able to shut their front doors unless they slam them, the person who decides to do some DIY shortly after midnight - the list goes on.

I'm not having a go at you in particular so please don't think I am, but I don't see why a nieghbour should have to put up with your loud television when you're the person with the hearing problem. Why not do what many other people without a hearing problem do - use a set of headphones? I like to watch a bit of tv when I come home late at night before going to bed, so I use headphones so as not to disturb my neighbours. £10 for a cheap set saved me from a whole heap of complaints. One of my friends gets lots of complaints from her next-door neighbours because of her tv - she has it so loud that she can't hear you if you speak to her, & I find it almost ear-splittingly loud if I'm in the same room with her, but will she use headphones or turn it down? No, so I can't help but think that with some noisy people a bit of "no-one's telling me what to do in my own home" comes into play. Why should it be the person being disturbed who has to show some patience & tolerance, instead of the person creating the disturbance showing some consideration, especially once someone's spoken to them politely about the issue?

I agree that there are some serial & petty complainers around, but sometimes noisy people make a rod for their own backs. I spoke politely to my ex neighbour for over three years about the level of her music, but she carried on regardless & I ended up having to make an official complaint. The end result was that she ended up with two formal warnings from the council (another neighbour had previously lodged a complaint, that I only found out about after lodging mine), with a warning that a third would result in her being taken to court, & ending up with a fine or the items being taken away from her, with a ban from having such equipment again. Only then did she take the issue seriously, & she then spent the year or so 'til I moved running about to turn it down as soon as she heard my key in the door, in case I or anyone else complained. Why put herself in that position when simply keeping the music down once neighbours had spoken to her about it would have kept her away from the council's attention & out of the court's clutches years before? Because she was pig ignorant & stubborn, & felt she had the right to play her music in my home as well as her own. She was wrong.

As for the old lady, her hands wanted kissing, not amputating. If miladdo spent a lot of money on the headphones, he'll remember how easily he lost the use of them & hopefully be more considerate in future. The world doesn't revolve around the young, & shouldn't revolve around the selfish either. I value the things I've spent good money on, so I don't put myself at risk of losing them. Some noisy people would do well to think the same way.

BenGlancy

Your point about noisy neighbours who do DIY after midnight (does that really happen?) and and people playing with their car horns, and (I might add) car alarms that repeatedly go off if it detects a light breeze in the air is perfectly all good. I agree.

However the comment about headphones is a bit out of order. Yes there's no reason why a neighbour should have to suffer my bad hearing... but at the same time why do I have to wear bacteria inducing, ear aching headphones in order to watch TV because some guy upstairs has sonar hearing. He told me himself he has excellent hearing, so what is to blame.. his super hearing or my deficiency?

At the end of the day we don't have parties, we don't have drug dealers around and dogs barking, girls screaming, and god knows whatever else I've had to put up with in the past in my poorer days. He does't know how good he has got it. I play piano with the headphones on as I understand that learning and practicing on an instrument is a painful thing for a third party to hear. However, then he moaned about the sound the wooden keys make when pressed. He said it sounds like a drum kit. I'm sorry I expect a level of tolerance as I would give a level of tolerance.

Also, we go out of our way to shut the door quietly on a day to day basis. But everysooften I'll get a visitor who is unaware it naturally bangs shut, and then he'll complain if it happens once or twice.

This is the type of neighbour that is a whining, moaning idiot whom doesn't deserve any respect.

The person who posted about geting to know your neighbours and having a community neighborhood has a damn good point. But how can you do this when you're getting hostility from the word go.

Thanks for reading.

BenGlancy

Not sure where you live, but £400 is low rent most places in and around London. I live in Watford, and £400 would get me a room in a shared house and that's it.

Exactly the type of people you would have fly-tipping rubbish..

Anyway that's the council's fault for maing it so damn difficult to get rubbish collected that isn't a teabag or a tin of beans.

How can someone who doesn't have a car take a sofa to the tip. Oh yeah you can pay £50 to a man with a van. Or.... hmm next door neighbours fence is quite low... they're on holiday.. so... erm...

BenGlancy

One more point,

Next time a young person gets on the bus with headphones on that are loud, why not smile to yourself and try to remember what it was like to be that young.

And please appreciate the act that they are wearing headphones... I've seen idiots get on with ghetto blasters and playing music on their mobile phones outloud carelessly and with a big attitude. Get some guy with headphones on who probably doesn't realise others can hear it, gets them cut.

Sickeing. I have this vision of all these intolerant angry people on the bus looking at each other in fury over a tiny bit of short-term noise.

If you are on a 16 hour coach journey, I'd understand if someone said something to the guy to raise his awareness, but cutting the wire on a simple bus journey is just plain nasty.

Thanks.

sarah84

BenGlancy wrote: »

And please appreciate the act that they are wearing headphones... I've seen idiots get on with ghetto blasters and playing music on their mobile phones outloud carelessly and with a big attitude.

Agreed, there seems to be a trend amongst teenagers at the moment to play music on the loudspeaker on a mobile, although I had one bus driver who yelled ''we don't all need to hear how $h1t your music taste is, f****** turn it off!''

(I'm extremely paranoid on buses that people can hear my earphones, I usually take them out while a song is playing to check the volume then put them back in!)

Garf

Live in 1800s big house that has been converted to 5 flats.

Stone deaf women below us, has a fancy TV/Cinema system. Can hear the news from our Lounge. We shout and scream and knock at the door when the TV is at full steam.

Guess what ... she can't hear us! But now we get told off cos we make too much noise knocking on the door of the old ladys.

But when we moved in, there were secret rules that we have learnt from doing wrong, as they are all "home owners" and we rent so get treated differently by the elder ones of the premises.

Hurdler

I was successful in the early part of this year in getting my upstairs neighbours to put some carpetting down as the sound of their 3 year old running about/having tantrums was getting to be quite unbearable.

It was a little bit sticky initially as the wife can sometimes be quite irrational and flies off the handle; her husband came down to have a chat and we came to an agreement that they'd carpet the child's room and the living room.

I do get disturbed a bit now that they have another baby - not by him crying, but by heavy footfall as they get up to see to him.
I don't think they're being malicious - I just think they don't think about the effect of sound when everywhere else is really quiet.

That being said - it was always my plan to let my flat out and move to a house (my DVDs, CDs and Books are just breeding out of control!) so I will be making an offer on a house in the New Year.

To answer the person asking what's the attraction of living in a flat - at the time (12 years ago) it was what I could afford and was a starting point on the property ladder.
Now I have an investment that has quadrupled in price and will allow me to buy up to the next rung as well as perhaps being the first in a line of properties I can have managed as a nice little supplement to my pension (that suddenly doesn't seem so far away, gulp!!!)

Sassers

Sapphire wrote: »

I certainly was.

And you certainly are...........a racist.

wherediditallgo

BenGlancy wrote: »

Your point about noisy neighbours who do DIY after midnight (does that really happen?)

Yes, unfortunately, until they were warned they'd be reported if they did it again.

BenGlancy wrote: »

... and and people playing with their car horns, and (I might add) car alarms that repeatedly go off if it detects a light breeze in the air is perfectly all good. I agree.

However the comment about headphones is a bit out of order. Yes there's no reason why a neighbour should have to suffer my bad hearing... but at the same time why do I have to wear bacteria inducing, ear aching headphones in order to watch TV because some guy upstairs has sonar hearing. He told me himself he has excellent hearing, so what is to blame.. his super hearing or my deficiency?

It wasn't out of order because (a) I made it clear I wasn't having a go at you, & (b) you've only now mentioned your neighbour's hearing, which may well be more acute than other people's. Bacteria inducing? Clean them regularly. I'm not being facetious - I've used ear/headphones for over 15 years (I'm a musician & singer-songwriter) & I've never had an ear infection of any kind, because I rarely use other people's, I don't lend mine to anyone & I keep mine very clean, especially if I'm using the 'in the ear' rather than 'over the ear' type. Ear aching? Ear/headphones aren't a standard fit because ears aren't a standard size/shape, so it may take time to find a pair that suit you - doesn't mean you shouldn't do it though.

BenGlancy wrote: »

At the end of the day we don't have parties, we don't have drug dealers around and dogs barking, girls screaming, and god knows whatever else I've had to put up with in the past in my poorer days. He does't know how good he has got it. I play piano with the headphones on as I understand that learning and practicing on an instrument is a painful thing for a third party to hear. However, then he moaned about the sound the wooden keys make when pressed. He said it sounds like a drum kit. I'm sorry I expect a level of tolerance as I would give a level of tolerance.

Totally agree.

BenGlancy wrote: »

Also, we go out of our way to shut the door quietly on a day to day basis. But everysooften I'll get a visitor who is unaware it naturally bangs shut, and then he'll complain if it happens once or twice.

Perhaps the door issue could be resolved by putting a polite note on it to remind people to close the door quietly. I'd be complaining too if the door repeatedly banging (especially if the banging was only by visitors to one household) meant my home shaking, me being woken up etc. My ex neighbour's visitors were the only ones who didn't feel able to shut the door behind them - visitors to the other seven flats didn't have a problem with it. It's the responsibility of the people they're visiting to make sure their visitors don't behave in an unneighbourly or untenantlike fashion, not the responsibility of other residents to put up with it. I used to tell my visitors to come down the stairs quietly when it was late at night, & not bang the lobby door - not difficult to do, & people soon get in the habit if they're reminded that it's you who'll get the complaints if they disturb people. Again, I'm not having a go at you personally.

BenGlancy wrote: »

This is the type of neighbour that is a whining, moaning idiot whom doesn't deserve any respect.

The person who posted about geting to know your neighbours and having a community neighborhood has a damn good point. But how can you do this when you're getting hostility from the word go.

Thanks for reading.

What seems like pettiness to you could be a real issue to them, especially if it's a repeated experience for them. The best way to resolve these issues is to talk with your neighbours. However, if you can't discuss the matter with them (for whatever reason), there's nothing to stop you dropping them a polite note explaining your position & that you feel their lack of tolerance given the building in which you live may constitute harassment, & asking them to meet with you to discuss the issues properly. Politeness can only go far, but it does take two.

wherediditallgo

BenGlancy wrote: »

One more point,

Next time a young person gets on the bus with headphones on that are loud, why not smile to yourself and try to remember what it was like to be that young.

And please appreciate the act that they are wearing headphones... I've seen idiots get on with ghetto blasters and playing music on their mobile phones outloud carelessly and with a big attitude. Get some guy with headphones on who probably doesn't realise others can hear it, gets them cut.

Thanks.

I'm young enough to remember being young. I also remember my parents telling me the bus wasn't the local park, being taught to give up my seat for anyone that needed it more than me & being told by my father that if he wanted to hear my music in the lounge over his cricket, he'd have let me play it there while he was watching it. Perhaps I come from a time (not so long ago, I might add) when consideration for others meant something & didn't make you the local nerd.

As for the man whose lead was cut, he wasn't an adolescent, he was a grown man who looked well into his twenties. There's no way he couldn't have been aware of how loud it was, because people several seats down the carriage could have sung along with it if they'd so chosen (no-one did). The incident happened years ago - maybe today the old lady wouldn't have done anything at all, because she might have got a torrent of abuse or hit/shot as a result.