Sisters Wedding Abroad.

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds

My sister gets married in two weeks and like BugglyB I've taken a week off for her hen do (2 weeks ago) and another week for her wedding.

I've also spent a fortune making sure she has had the most amazing time as she is my sister, my only sibling, and I know she would do the same for me!

In my opinion you need to think what is most important to you, being with your sister on her big day or missing out and possibly regretting it and causing tension in the family?

Whatever you do, take your time to think things through and research the costs etc before rushing in to anything...

Sammy85_2

I think that it all depends on your relationship with your sister. I for example, dont have a particularly close relationship with my sister but there is no way i would miss her wedding, even if it meant the expense of going abroad with them, or going alone because my partner couldnt/wouldnt go.

As to the weather that time of year, yes it wont be baking hot, but i have been in cyprus in December and it was still warm enough to wear a tshirt in the day and a light sweater at night.

ladymarmalade

BugglyB wrote: »

For my sisters wedding I took two weeks holiday – one for hen do, one for wedding.

I spent a fortune which came out of household budget.

However I did all that because I love her and I wanted to make her really happy, and I know she would do it for me, I suppose it depends on what relationship you have with her.

I would be saying to partner its not up to him and if he doesn’t want to attend/contribute, he doesn’t have to! If you went on your own you could be one of the 10 perhaps, or you could ask for one ‘free’ space so you can share the cost of the other.

In short - talk to your sister about it!

I really agree with this......she is your sister. If you are not close and never have been then perhaps you can get away with not going but if you are close then I think you are being a bit harsh...it is a once in a lifetime event.

My partner and I had someone not come to an important event of ours recently, someone very important to the occasion and it was very upsetting...they gave excuses but they were pretty lame tbh. We were quite upset, so i can imagine these reasons ans attitude might be quite upsetting to your sister.

I guess the question you have to ask yourself is whether you will be happy to not go and be able to face your sister when you see each other, cos I know i would feel guilty.

However, if the reasons you have are genuine, then you need to talk to her. Perhaps she will have a budget put aside to help people, she may even completely understand if you don't go. If you do plead these reason though, plese make sure they are genuine because we once had someone say they couldn;t afford to come to a party, and the week after they bought a brand new tv and a computer not long after. I don't know if I was angry or upset :S

Basically i guess I am trying to say, if your reasons are genuine, your sister will understand...but you don need to consider that this will hopefully be a once in a lifetime occasion for your sister and she wants you to be a part of it.

Hope that helps

Mojisola

If_My_Pennies_Were_Pounds wrote: »

My sister gets married in two weeks and like BugglyB I've taken a week off for her hen do (2 weeks ago) and another week for her wedding.

I've also spent a fortune making sure she has had the most amazing time as she is my sister, my only sibling, and I know she would do the same for me!

But she hasn't shown you the same kind of consideration! She's arranged her wedding in a way that has cost you a fortune and used up two weeks' of your holiday entitlement.

If people want to go abroad for their weddings, they have to accept the compromise that some people they invite will not be able to come. It's not fair to pressurise family members and friends into spending money they can't spare to fit in with your wedding plans.

Dekazer

I can't help but wonder whether there are some clues in your post that point to some strained family relationships.

You put invered commas round 'fiance'. Is there a reason you are not thrilled your sister is getting married? It sounds like you're not that happy about it. Perhaps if you were more happy about her choice of partner you'd be glad to travel to Cyprus?

Also, it sounds rather like your partner's not your sister's biggest fan. If there's a problem there, perhaps he'd be unhappy about making any expenditure to attend her wedding even if it was in the UK. After all, it can be just as expensive going to a UK wedding (hen/stag weekends, travel, accommodation, outfits, gift etc) as one abroad!

If you are pleased your sister's marrying, and if your partner can enter into the spirit a bit more, you could start looking for solutions rather than obstacles. This whole website is a great place for finding out about cheap flights, good money exchange places, finding cheap accommodation etc.

Secondly, you could speak to your sister about what's important to her. She might be happy for you not to give a gift, so long as you can attend. She might be planning not to have an expensive hen in order for people to save their annual leave and cash.

In my opinion, if my sibling was getting married I would be there, if it meant wearing an old outfit, and not giving a present, and leaving my partner at home, I would be there. It sounds like you're making excuses based on the fact it's abroad, to cover up the fact you're not ver happy for your sister. Apologies if I've mis-read it, that's just how it sounds from your original post.

jemb

When you say "Their situation" I presume this is a financial one? TBH, I dont really see that it's a mega mega prob. They are giving everyone 3 years for a reason. Cyprus can have some really expensive accomodation but then can be cheap too, all depends where in Cyprus it is. Personally I dont think it's selfish, they want to get married, your her sister, they invite you. If you don't want to go then dont go. But think about if she gave you 3 years to save like £1500 and she kicked off. £500 a year which equates to £42 a month (only working of mega rough figures, will prob be more). If you're not close with your sister then tell her you cant afford, cant do it, and previous said you will organise party over here. You'd have an issue if she didnt invite you! I think personally she's stuck she'd be damned if she did or didnt invite you.

Curious_George_2

If people want to get married abroad then thats great for them but when they expect you to attend is when problems arise,
if this were somebody i knew i would already be umming and arrring about money, work, holidays etc but say i will look into it.

we have just been invited to my cousins wedding in cornwall in october this year, now while she came to essex for my hen do and wedding i may not be able to do the same in return, we just cant afford it... i will try my hardest to get us all there and if we dont go i will hate being at home on the day but in our dire financial situation there is very little i can do about it

having said all that our family is difficult anyway, my (ex) sister arranged her shotgun wedding to a bloke she had known 5 minutes on the same weekend our brothers baby was due so he couldnt go, and because she was such a bridezilla from hell and fell out with everyone she didnt even invite me... the photos are lovely though, our mum red eyed from all the stressed out sobbing she had done recently, hardly any family or friends there etc....

nykied

My friend got married in Cyprus and 28 of us schlepped on over there for two week. It was fantastic but they broke up a month after we got back - he'd been seeing someone else since before the wedding. OT, I know but I just had to share...

BugglyB

Dekazer wrote: »

I can't help but wonder whether there are some clues in your post that point to some strained family relationships.

You put invered commas round 'fiance'. Is there a reason you are not thrilled your sister is getting married? It sounds like you're not that happy about it. Perhaps if you were more happy about her choice of partner you'd be glad to travel to Cyprus?

Also, it sounds rather like your partner's not your sister's biggest fan. If there's a problem there, perhaps he'd be unhappy about making any expenditure to attend her wedding even if it was in the UK. After all, it can be just as expensive going to a UK wedding (hen/stag weekends, travel, accommodation, outfits, gift etc) as one abroad!

If you are pleased your sister's marrying, and if your partner can enter into the spirit a bit more, you could start looking for solutions rather than obstacles. This whole website is a great place for finding out about cheap flights, good money exchange places, finding cheap accommodation etc.

Secondly, you could speak to your sister about what's important to her. She might be happy for you not to give a gift, so long as you can attend. She might be planning not to have an expensive hen in order for people to save their annual leave and cash.

In my opinion, if my sibling was getting married I would be there, if it meant wearing an old outfit, and not giving a present, and leaving my partner at home, I would be there. It sounds like you're making excuses based on the fact it's abroad, to cover up the fact you're not ver happy for your sister. Apologies if I've mis-read it, that's just how it sounds from your original post.

This is a very good post. Don't automatically assume it will cost loads. If oh isn't bothered about going - is there someone else you can share a room with? find the cheapest flights you can - maybe you could just go for the actual wedding day itself then at most you will need 3/4 days off work?

If you can approach your sister in a 'can-do' sort of way you might get a better response than if you approach her in a 'can't believe you've done this to me' sort of way.

PootleFlump_3

OP If Im honest and my sister did the same thing there would be no question that I would go and no doubt in my mind about it whatsoever. She is my sister and if thats what she wanted then thats what would happen and I would go out of my way to be there for her and do as much as I could to make it as special for her as possible. She could be getting married in Timbuktu and I would still go no matter what. If my OH had an issue with it (which he wouldnt) I would tell him to get a grip and tell him that I was going whether he was or not - end of.