Sisters Wedding Abroad.

~Diamond~

My sister and her 'fiance' recently announced that they getting married but they are going to do it in Cyprus in 2013/2014.

My partner thinks it is a ridiculous idea for a wedding in their situation. Plus he is angry that they are just expecting us all to go along with it. They say we have to save up until then, we have to go in January when it is not even hot there.

OK questions:

- How would you feel if your family just told you they expect you to go to their wedding abroad.
That you had to use a week of your holiday from work to go.
That if you could only afford one holiday a year they would be making you have it there?

- How much do you even think one would need to save for this? We have not been told this you see. Plus they said their whole wedding will be about 2,000 they have been told, is that correct? And what do they get in the wedding package. They can only bring 10 guests.

- My partner is refusing to go at the moment. The beginning of the year is a really busy time for him at work. He doesn't want to go to Cyprus especially when it is not hot. So that is another problem as I would hate to go without him.

Kittendreich

Whatever you decide - be honest with her from the start and don't give her false hope that you will attend (if you decide not to). If you can't afford it - then you can't go. Anyone getting married abroad/far away has to realise that one of their compromises may be not having everyone they'd like there.

On the other hand - you do have some time to save up and some other possible solutions to think about.... Do you have to go for the whole week? Can you get cheap flights if you book early enough and just go for a couple of nights? Could you just go and not whole family/OH - not ideal, but does save costs and allows OH to work...? Could you stay at a different, but cheaper hotel nearby?

VfM4meplse

Don't feel that you have to go, the decision to include / exclude is your sister's, not yours. Lots of people that wed abroad have a reception for their family and friends on their rtn.

Either way, wish them well.

VfM4meplse

Kittendreich wrote: »

Could you stay at a different, but cheaper hotel nearby?

What fun is that? Isn't it just spending money for the sake of it? This is the OP's sister's choice, I agree with her OH tbh.

kitschkitty

VfM4meplse wrote: »

What fun is that? Isn't it just spending money for the sake of it? This is the OP's sister's choice, I agree with her OH tbh.

It's called compromise. - Just depends on how important attending the wedding is to everyone involved. (which doesn't make any one persons view more valid or important).

kazwookie

I would ask your sister for a rough idea of costs, first.

Then chat to your OH

Then make your mind up if you wish to go or not.

Personally I wouldn't go, but help to arrange a party for them when they get back.

MrsDrink

This is the thing I don't really understand about people choosing to get married abroad because it's cheaper. Get married abroad because you want a hot sunny beach wedding by all means. But I don't see the cost as being a valid reason - in my opinion - and you do see a lot of that being spoken about on here.

We're having a very small ceremony in our local registry office, followed by a party at our house. It will hopefully come to under £3k (including things like hen/stag dos). And we're not being super tight - we could do it even cheaper if I'd bought a dress off the high street, a ring from argos etc etc.

Wanting a cheap wedding doesn't automatically mean you must marry abroad, especially when you factor in a 'party' when you get back (as most seem to do).

Diamond - I must admit, reading your OP there does seem to be a fair amount of resentment coming through. I'm not sure I would go if it was me.

Idiophreak

I've got a slightly different take on this...
It's your sister's wedding

Personally, my sister could have organised her wedding in Afghanistan and I'd still have gone, it's a once in a lifetime day that you get to share with them. You seem more worried about losing a few days of holiday from work, than you do about attending the wedding, and think you could have a better time somewhere else on holiday - than at your sister's side when she weds. Very sad imho.

That said, I'd never dream of getting married abroad if it meant my sister couldn't afford to come - so I'd speak to her and see how much she's willing to contribute toward your travel expenses...

fawny

Hi,

Ok from the point of view of someone who is marrying abroad. We decided that we wanted to get married in Lindos as the place holds a special meaning to both of us. We both loved the idea of a hot sunny day with a relaxed boat trip & a reception in a wonderful Greek Taverna, it's what we want to do! We are not doing it to save money & to be honest it's costing more than some peoples on here who are marrying in the UK.

We announced in Feb our plans & gave people info so they could think about it & also have the chance to save up if they wanted to come. We are not expecting anyone to come & have not put pressure on anyone to do so. When we were deciding what to do we knew that a lot of people would not be able to come but decided that we were still happy & that's what's important, we are doing it for us & not everyone else. We have been suprised by how many people are coming & are using it as their holiday next year, so I guess we have wonderful friends:D

BugglyB

For my sisters wedding I took two weeks holiday – one for hen do, one for wedding.

I spent a fortune which came out of household budget.

However I did all that because I love her and I wanted to make her really happy, and I know she would do it for me, I suppose it depends on what relationship you have with her.

I would be saying to partner its not up to him and if he doesn’t want to attend/contribute, he doesn’t have to! If you went on your own you could be one of the 10 perhaps, or you could ask for one ‘free’ space so you can share the cost of the other.

In short - talk to your sister about it!

becca0417

I agree with the posts by Idiophreak and BugglyB. This is your sister, and as much as it is your decision whether to go or not, it is hers as to where she gets married. I would move heaven and earth to get to my sisters wedding but then that is the relationship I have with her. Maybe raise your concerns with her?