Horace's Biting the Bullet Diary

Wordsmith

I'm glad your interview went well, Horace - it's good to have that boost when you feel you're getting nowhere. Even if you and the job aren't right for each other, you know that you have done a good interview. I do like the term "riotwomble" (although obviously I don't like that there has to be such a term).

chevalier

hope the jobs get got. sorry not very coherent as i am developing a cold at a fast rate of knots at the moment. Is it worth going on a DMP with CCCS?

Horace

Chev sorry to hear about your cold - it was suggested to me that I go on a DMP with the CCCS but this is something that I could try and do myself (again it is my pride).

I saw my GP at 7.15am and told him how I was feeling because last Sunday I was really that low and felt that my future looked very bleak indeed. We talked about those feelings but I did say that I hadn't actually thought of methods to do the deed. He was sympathetic and said that it was a sign of the times, he also suggested that I was a much stronger person than I was in 2007 (he wasnt my GP then) and that I had managed to pick myself up from that episode and at least I have acknowledged that I need help. I do not need anti-depressants either but instead he has referred me to the practice counsellor whom I have tried to make an appointment with today (can expect to get one in a fortnight) to talk about stress management.

Today, I need to ring my landlord to explain why my rent is late.

Startagain - I cannot open another account with the Co-op because I do my business banking with them. I might go to Lloyds TSB over the road and see what they have or better still might go to the Nationwide. CCCS gave me some great advice.

I had some other news yesterday - one of my chums runs a business down south and she asked me to test some software for her - something that should be easy to use to create a facebook page. When the crinkles have been ironed out I will be set up as a retailer so that I can sell it (rates will need to be agreed) and I have also been offered 75% commission on any courses run by her business partner - he charges £250 per hour - so 75% is a lot of money. This is something to look forward to because it is something that I could do fairly easily.

Best crack on I guess..I have to play with mailchimp because I have emails to send out about Mondays and Tuesdays meetings.

Will report back with any news later...I am determined to get myself out of this mess.

Oh..in other news..I ended up following someone on Twitter last night and as they follow someone else that I follow too I saw them tweet about how they wanted more followers and retweets because they had some freebies to give away...well, I was the lucky person and a box of 6 pillar candles will be winging their way to me from London:cool:

Horace

Well - I did nothing yesterday, well I did some washing up and grabbed a couple of slices of bread out of the freezer and had a tomato sandwich for lunch. I did veg out in front of the telly and tweeted using my mobile phone (thank goodness for unlimited internet usage on my phone). As a treat for missing out on the weekend, I took myself to the chipshop and spent £1.30 on a bag of chips (should be slightly bigger than a cone portion but funny I didnt have any left over like I usually do). The chips were delicious and I ate them whilst watching Auction Hunters on Quest. I like this programme as it is about two American chaps who buy up storage lockers and then sell the contents.

I have done some work today and need to go out for food and to the bank now that I only have 90p in my purse:eek: In other news I received my HB cheque which means that the bank can now pay my flippin rent:mad: I will need to bank it tomorrow and I have to go to the village to go the chemist to drop off my new prescription for baby corks:D I know that I need to get cash out of the bank because I will need money for the carpark at the University on Wednesday. I have worked out that it is cheaper to drive there than get the train and the bus.

I didn't feel bad about being lazy yesterday - I dozed off a fair bit on the sofa and felt better for it.

Jobs for today - wash up pans, water tomatoes, type the minutes and circulate, continue with software testing.

Wordsmith

Horace wrote: »

it was suggested to me that I go on a DMP with the CCCS but this is something that I could try and do myself (again it is my pride).

I understand your desire to do things yourself, Horace, but why not let the CCCS take some of the strain from you while you are a bit below par at the moment? While they are looking after this you can be concentrating on building your business. Don't make yourself ill through pride.

Horace wrote: »

he has referred me to the practice counsellor whom I have tried to make an appointment with today (can expect to get one in a fortnight) to talk about stress management.

This sounds like a good way forward. Your GP seems very sympathetic.

Horace wrote: »

she asked me to test some software for her - something that should be easy to use to create a facebook page. ... This is something to look forward to because it is something that I could do fairly easily.

Excellent for you. Although I am a bit puzzled as to why someone would want to creat a facebook page with third-party software?

Horace wrote: »

I am determined to get myself out of this mess.

You will, Horace. Of that I have no doubt.

Have a good day.

Horace

Are you psychic Wordsmith? I was only thinking earlier about letting CCCS take the strain for a bit and it will only be for a bit as well.

I didnt type up the minutes as I promised myself, I did more washing up and watered my tomatoes. Found a spag bol in the freezer and had that for tea and tried to cook some crumpets in my Remoska from frozen - they did not turn out well but I did eat them covered in butter and a teensy pot of Tiptree jam (a free pot I was given last year). I also slobbed in front of the tv again but did watch an interesting programme about honey ants.

My GP is rather nice, in fact the surgery is pretty good as they allow 15 min appointments. He recommended the counselling service at the practice and so I am waiting for an appointment.

The facebook page is odd because you can have tabs - I think it something to do with wordpress although I am not sure. So far I have managed to break it and haven't tested it today, preferring to rest as my eyes are starting to be irritated again (partly stress).

Tomorrow I shall go to the bank, go to the chemist, ring the bank (am with FD), go shopping for food and essentials also need to get money out so I will withdraw a week's worth of housing benefit £50 and will put £15 away for my trip to North Wales at the end ot the month and will buy food and other essentials with some of the remainder (keeping money back for the University carpark). Tescos sent me a £4 off voucher so every little helps.

startagain_2

Hi Horace,

Just dipping in, catching up and lending some support.
I agree with Wordsmith - if you let CCCS do the nitty gritty for you it takes the strain off and I think they have more clout with Creditors - I speak from experience. You don't have to agree to anything that you feel is unworkable but they really are very good.
I have also had experience of counselling (practice based) but unfortunately my practice only limits each patient to 6 sessions and I was then referred on to my "Mr Wonderful" a Consultant Psychologist who turned my life around in the 18 months of seeing me. I went from being near suicidal to "Little Miss Positive" - and it all seemed to make so much sense, doing it his way. I would still be seeing him now but working full time and a bit too far away makes it really difficult, but the door is open. Just knowing that gives me security. I know that you will get a lot out of it. Big Hugxx
I wish I could wave a magic wand and have a job offer or two drop in your lap today but I am sure that something will turn up soon. I love the way you are organising your affairs and arranging finances - you will look back on all this one day and pride yourself on managing.
Lots of positive thoughts, vibes and waves heading your way.
Thinking of you
SA

Horace

I was a bit naughty today, I met up with a friend who is house sitting in one of the less saloubrious parts of town this morning - she came to breakfast and then needed the cashpoint to pay me which was handy because I had to go to the bank to put in my HB cheque. We then did a trawl of the charity shops and I came out with 6 vintage shot glasses for £1.30 - these will be washed and ebayed because I reckon that I can sell them for around £10-15 (the old wheeler dealer in me is coming back and glass is something that I know). I also took friend to local craft centre as she was looking for a present for her daughter - I picked up some peppermint footcream because I have wanted some for ages (not very MSE I know) and we had coffee and cake and put the world to rights. I know that I shouldn't have spent money on frivolities but I felt a darn sight better for doing so. I polished off with a trip to Wilkinsons as I needed some tomato food (cost 98p) and I managed to buy 12 luxury loo rolls for £2.00, an air freshener, a pair of latex free gloves and some scouring pads (these were necessary...note no food bought yet:eek:)

Anyway I have LVs and LVs = food.

The bank are going to pay my rent on 18 August after my cheque has cleared, I was told that if I went onto a DMP then I would have to close my account because it seems that First Direct do not like people to be on DMPs. I have said that I haven't ventured down that route yet as this is a temporary blip. She did remind me about bank charges so I did say that as I was on a low income that they perhaps shouldn't charge me...well,..no they can't do that. Personally, I would rather not close my FD account if I can help it. I did say that my rent is my priority payment. She muttered about my credit card with them but the limit is £600 and that I havent spent on it nor will spend on it for the last two months.

I now have to pay my contents insurance and I have been quoted £160 for £75K worth of cover - this includes some separately listed items. My insurance is due on 3 September so I must find someone who has a similar level of cover for less money.

Wordsmith

Any particular reason you don't want to close the FD account, Horace?

Horace

I like banking with FD and having experienced the others can't abide them plus FD have a UK call centre so I get to speak to someone who understands English who doesnt follow a script.

Feeling very low today, I think it is because I haven't been sleeping well. I was due to go to a BBQ with the business club tonight but have made my excuses and will have an early night so that I can be prepared for tomorrow's interview. I should know today or tomorrow whether or not I have got the job I went for last week.

I may well have found a buyer for those shot glasses already and I haven't even washed them yet - they may not find their way onto ebay:cool: That suits me because I won't have ebay fees or paypal fees to pay and I will get all the money.

Today, I must type the minutes. I am toying with the idea of knocking that voluntary job on the head too because even though I enjoy it, I don't have the strength to deal with it right now.

I am toying with the idea of applying for some funding via Goldman Sachs because there is money available and classroom work involved in helping me to grow my business..the application needs to be in by 5 October. I have a neworking event booked for November too (I paid £50 earlier this year which covers me for a year's worth of breakfast meets, these meets are £10 a time so it is more cost effective to pay in advance)..this event is of particular interest because it revolves around the Olympics and the fact that there are some event management jobs available..I am not going to miss out on that opportunity.