Nice people thread part 4 - sugar and spice and all things

michaels

justgiving.com I think you only need to register card details once and they also clam the tax back. Not sure if it is different for charities but paypal is very expensive for most.

Davesnave

PasturesNew wrote: »

So needs a daily cleaner to wipe/sweep drips, spills, random food/drinks .... and cast an eye over the washing up to see it was done right. Could get away with one every 2-3 days, but there'd be random bits of food everywhere (including all down the front of the old who doesn't bother changing their dress ever unless you point and say "that's day 3 now and I can still see day 1's gravy on it")

Would an element of care at home be possible until something's sorted out, or could you make use of a carer at a different property?

At first, I got a lady to visit Dad at lunchtime only, when she would help him knock up a meal (to make sure he ate) check his pills (I had them in one of those 7 day containers) put the washing machine on and tidy up/just keep an eye out and alert me if anything appeared amiss.

As time went by, the lady also visited in the morning, first to check he'd got through the bathroom OK, and later, to actually bath him. This would never have been accepted in the first instance, but he came around to it all in time.

Eventually, the carer was popping in morning, noon & night, and so was I, but that was because things had become so dodgy he really needed more care/monitoring than that system could provide. I'm afraid it's a human tendency to put off the inevitable rather too long for everyone's good.

silvercar

At the very least, those alarms on a necklace are useful, though the old has to realise they are in need of help to use it.

Spirit_2

PN at one stage my mum needed quite a lot of help -following on from an osteoporosis crumbling vertebrae....she had a carer first thing to help her shower and dress, meals on wheels at lunch time and a tuck in service to help her get ready for bed.

She also had a cleaner who came in once a week to clean thoroughly and Popped in on another day to bring in shopping.

At this point mum was living in a retirement apartment....we found the downside was that many of the residents were also infirm so there was not a lot of opportunity for neighbourly help although they were company.

We were fortunate in that although this episode lasted over year mum did regain a lot of independence. At that point she relocated to a town she knew well and chose to live in a ground floor flat in general development as she preferred having a mix of neighbours not only the elderly. This flat we added an electric garage door so she could get her mobility scooter in and out, and converted the bathroom to a wet room.

When the time came for us to sell ( in this slump) it sold quickly although as we bought at the peak it was for less than we paid for it .

Would a small flat and carer support help your old?

Spirit_2

Tonight as I rummaged in a cupboard for a Kilner jar ..I found two of them. One had sloe gin in it, and the other had sloe whisky in it!

Mr Spirit had had sloe whisky on a shoot which inspired this a couple of years ago. It is delicious and I am going to pick our sloes this weekend,I had already decided I could not be bothered but I have changed my mind.

PasturesNew

Spirit wrote: »

PN at one stage my mum needed quite a lot of help -following on from an osteoporosis crumbling vertebrae....she had a carer first thing to help her shower and dress, meals on wheels at lunch time and a tuck in service to help her get ready for bed.

She also had a cleaner who came in once a week to clean thoroughly and Popped in on another day to bring in shopping.

At this point mum was living in a retirement apartment....we found the downside was that many of the residents were also infirm so there was not a lot of opportunity for neighbourly help although they were company.

We were fortunate in that although this episode lasted over year mum did regain a lot of independence. At that point she relocated to a town she knew well and chose to live in a ground floor flat in general development as she preferred having a mix of neighbours not only the elderly. This flat we added an electric garage door so she could get her mobility scooter in and out, and converted the bathroom to a wet room.

When the time came for us to sell ( in this slump) it sold quickly although as we bought at the peak it was for less than we paid for it .

Would a small flat and carer support help your old?

In answer to the last question, that's what I am looking for ... but among others just like the old.... not among regular people with their own lives going on. It's a retirement flat that we're struggling to get. The choices are: buy, or wait 2 years for a housing association/council (might be more than 2 years) - and by then the old would be about 90. My old is VERY old. My old was also not looking after themselves before this change of circumstances ... and has several health issues that don't help (e.g. they've got about 50% use in each arm, one of them suddenlly going to 0% randomly), they're doddery on their feet (head/body moving faster than the feet can manage) and the old has no danger awareness (e.g. "Hello I'm here to read your meter..." "Oh ... come in ... I'm all on my own you know ....")

LydiaJ

Pastures,

Have you considered a "supported sheltered house" such as an Abbeyfield house? You get a lot more independence than in an actual care home. I think in most of them you have kitchen facilities, and can do your own thing in your own room or flat as much as you like, if you are able to, but there's somebody to make sure you eat, and there are cleaners and things. Also, once you're in an Abbeyfield supported sheltered house, you're in the Abbeyfield system and can more into one of their care homes if and when you get to the stage of needing it.

PasturesNew

LydiaJ wrote: »

Pastures,

Have you considered a "supported sheltered house" such as an Abbeyfield house? You get a lot more independence than in an actual care home. I think in most of them you have kitchen facilities, and can do your own thing in your own room or flat as much as you like, if you are able to, but there's somebody to make sure you eat, and there are cleaners and things. Also, once you're in an Abbeyfield supported sheltered house, you're in the Abbeyfield system and can more into one of their care homes if and when you get to the stage of needing it.

We're trying to find that sort of place, they just don't seem to exist round here. The only one I've found so far costs £2,500/month and is more than the old needs and is in a remote village on the other side of the county.... want to keep them in this town as they know everything in the area so can visualise where people are talking about and know what's outside of the four walls.

The nearest one of those to here is 20 miles away.... which, at the moment, is out of the question. I'd seen it before and ruled it out as it's a town the old isn't familiar with.

Wheezy_2

michaels wrote: »

Or just highlight the bit you want to link to using the mouse then click the world and chain button and paste in the url which you have copied from the browser address bar in another tab.

Didn't know that, thanks.

Wheezy.

PasturesNew

Today was pension pickup day ... then settle some essential bills... before discovering the joy of a day centre

Old was quite upbeat about it .... really seemed to embrace it .... so booked them in
They get picked up/dropped off at home, lunch included and some activities. Hope the old really takes to it as it provides a lot of the services they can use (bathing, haircuts, lunch, chatting).