School Complaint - Help Needed Please

kaggy

I can assure you there aren't issues at home, the mum stood in the playground telling us about the e- mail she had sent in her anger when she found out the classes on Tuesday.

The classes are showing as 25 in one and 27 in the other! Guess which one mine is in and the smaller class is a far more experienced teacher?

Thank you once again, I know the majority of you think I am making a mountain out of a molehill but but daughter so rarely complains and absolutely loves school and whilst it is a compliment she just thinks she is being punished but she doesn't know what for. She said that maybe if she had been naughty she might have been in the other class! Anyway let's see what tomorrow brings, even if nothing changes it will make us feel better for having stood up to a rather grumpy and bullish head and maybe make them look at the policy and make sure that ALL the teachers are aware of it.

balletshoes

Have you thought about how you will discuss this with your daughter after the meeting if, as it seems likely, the head refuses to allow your daughter to move class?

To be honest it sounds like you dealt with it very well originally when you found out your daughter was going to be in a different class next year, so I'd be playing down the possibility of a move now, just saying the teacher who said she could move had made a mistake, and shouldn't have said that.

Hope it goes well today.

Lunar_Eclipse

kaggy wrote: »

I know the majority of you think I am making a mountain out of a molehill but but daughter so rarely complains and absolutely loves school and whilst it is a compliment she just thinks she is being punished but she doesn't know what for.

I don't!

Firstly, since some children have been grouped with friends and other have not, it doesn't sound like a fair approach to all children was adopted. The school may have valid reasons for this though, so I would try to ascertain whether they treated all children equally with due care and consideration. Their primary goal though is the education of the children and not their friendships.

Secondly, given how this has been handled with your daughter so far, I think it would be reasonable to ask if he would reconsider his earlier stance and move your daughter to the other class.

The issue of the governor's child being moved will add an interesting slant to your discussion.

Stay calm!

gratefulforhelp_2

kaggy wrote: »

I
The classes are showing as 25 in one and 27 in the other! Guess which one mine is in and the smaller class is a far more experienced teacher?

Numbers aren't the only story, the class of 25 may have more children with special needs, the class of 27 might have a TA, for example.

The head sounds weak to me. To not back up his staff/or at least to do them down to parents suggests to me that s/he is not in full control.

sunshinetours

Maybe just see what is said at the meeting - so many opinions from all but so lttle real information at the end of the day we can base it on! Use the meeting as a chance to air your views and go open minded. If there is a valid reason as to the class split and your DD's move then accept it and prepare you DD for the new term and focus opn teh positives of making new friends and how she must be special for being considered to be a social and positive person for example. keep it positive like you have done

They move our little girls classes round each year now as it promotes sociallising skills and hopefuly minimises cliques and the resulting bullying and issues that can result from them. Sounds sensible to me.

unfortunately it seems that many parents (not OP I hasten to add) just jump on any decisions involving their precious little Johnny/Jenny and DEMAND that they are accomodated etc. Sign of the times I guess when everyone claims to know their rights but chooses to accept none of the accompanying responsibilities. i could never be a teacher or head as wouldn;t be patient enough to deal with some of the parents own issues with life

Good luck OP however it turns out

kaggy

Just to let you know, the head backed down immediately and agreed that it had been handled badly. My daughter knew nothing of the meeting so as far as she is concerned nothing has changed.

Many thanks

Karen

**curlywurly**

Well done for dealing with this kaggy. It's so easy to let the school walk all over you. I don't think you have made a mountain out of a molehill. Friendship groups are very important to girls, particularly at that age. This is something that schools recognise - otherwise, why go to the bother of getting the children to make a friendship list? Exactly the same happened to my daughter in Year 4. All her friends were put together and she was separated. The school struggled to explain it. My daughter accepted the situation and of course she made new friends, but she spend a dreadful summer, absolutely dreading going back to school, and she had to watch all the other children celebrating when they found out what class they were in.

Similar thing happened last year (different school), my daughter was put in the same class as the school bully for the third year in a row (again, split up from friendship group, but it was the bully which was the problem). The school fixed it straightaway, and then fortunately expelled the bully a few weeks after the start of the new year.

I don't agree with everyone who says this is a minor thing, deal with it, get on with your life. For some children it is exactly that, just a minor and unimportant piece of information to end the school year with. For others, it is a big deal, and I for one think it is important that schools deal with parents' points of view about class groups and even if they don't then go ahead and move the classes around, they at least listen to the parents.

I have only felt the need to "talk to the school" on 2 occasions (my daughter is 12) and both were about class groupings. Two schools, two different ways of dealing with it.

make_me_wise

Id be tempted to keep things as they are. Surely the optimum times to mix and socialise with her friends are break, lunch times and after school. By not having her close circle around her during lessons she will be mixing with a wider range of kids than she otherwise might. This leaves her open to different influences and new peer feedback during lessons.

No the teacher should not have said something was possible when she didn't have the authority but I wouldn't go messing with the status quo to be honest.

Sweet_Pea_2

Glad it has been sorted out to your satisfaction. I would have felt exactly the same as you, tbh. The fact that the other child had been moved would have made me furious and even if my own child was not allowed to move I would have gone in and complained in the same way that you did, there can't be one rule for one and for another, except in very exceptional circumstances as others have mentioned. I never complained at my childrens class moves because I knew it was set in stone, and also my DD's were ok about it anyway.

I was careful to pick my battles with the primary school, but I did complain on a few occasions, the last time was actually after my youngest had left and started secondary school. A teacher made a remark about my DD, and a couple of girls who heard this were in my DD's dance class and told her about it. It was not a nice comment and DD was in tears. I realized it could have been exaggerated, but it was fairly obvious something had been said, so I wrote a reasonable letter to the head asking for her comments and was absolutely FURIOUS to never receive an acknowledgement. I then wrote a slightly stronger but still polite and reasonable letter again to the head, but was preparing to take it to the governors next. I then received a letter of apology from the head, who could see I was not going to let it drop, which aknowledged that the teacher concerned agreed what she had done "was not best practicce and would not happen again", it was a bit sarcastic and snotty but there was not much else I could do about it. Teachers and headteachers do not always handle things the right way! Needless to say I was glad both my DD's do not go there any more