School Complaint - Help Needed Please

kaggy

Hi

I will try and give a brief overview of what has happened.

On Tuesday my DD was told which class she would be in in Y4, she was happy with the teacher but unhappy as the 4 good friends that she has were all in the other class.

We has an open afternoon yesterday (Weds) and I asked her teacher how the decision was made to move the children into the different classes. At no time did I say she wanted to move.
The teacher explained that it was on a number of things but that they also were asked to write a friends list and that this was also be looked at.

The teacher was very kind and mentioned that it wasn't too late to change things and as one child had already been moved there was a space in the other class. I said that I didn't know whether she would want to move and the teacher suggested talking to her and coming back to let her know, so I agreed to do this.

After an emotional discussion she said that although she preferred the teacher she would prefer to be with her friends. I confirmed with her that this is what she wanted to do.

This morning (Thurs) I saw her teacher and confirmed that she would like to move and it was left at that.

After school today the head rang saying that I had wanted to speak to him? I queried this and said that as far as I was concerned it was all sorted. he then said that the teacher doesn't have the authority to do this and that my DD would remain in the original class. As you can imagine I was not happy and after a lengthy discussed I asked to see him with my husband.

We are going tomorrow afternoon and I wondered what your views were?

Just a few points, my DD is an angel in class, confirmed by all teachers and her report.

Many thanks in advance

Karen

msb5262

Hello OP,

Can you clarify - do you intend to complain that the teacher apparently offered a class move without having the authority, or that the headteacher has refused the class move?

Doozergirl

Well, if it isn't set in stone then obviously it would be nice for her to have her friends. If he says that there is no flexibility then you'll just point out where the misunderstanding seems to have been with the other teacher, but then move on.

It's a temporary disappointment for her but her circle of friends will only grow because of it. Kids are very adaptable. I'd just explain that things don't always go the way you want them to, but that as a little angel, the headmaster thinks she can cope with this new challenge to make some more friends.

The option to move might have been nice, but it's not something to get very upset about. It's just one of those things that will soon be forgotten. She can't have been the only one that has been shuffled around.

JodyBPM

I'm not sure what the big deal is TBH. The teacher made a mistake when she said your DD could swap classes - she's only human! You have now been informed that this was an error, and your DD stays in the class which she was put in, which you hadn't initally asked her to be moved from anyway. End of story.

I imagine that your DD *could* have moved from a spaces point of view, but the HT doesn't (understandably) want to treat any one child differently from others, and obviously doesn't want 30 parents suddenly turning up asking for their child to move class! Either no-one can choose their class, or they all can!

I'm not sure of the need to take this further, issue a complaint or chat with the head TBH. The teacher in question was mistaken about the school policy on swapping class, she has now been put straight - is there really anything else to discuss?

balletshoes

I have to agree, unless you are going into the Head teacher tomorrow with your husband to discuss being misled by the other teacher, I'm not sure what else there would be to talk about with the Head?

meritaten

I would simply go to see the head teacher and ask if she could be moved with her friends. if the decision is set in stone then your dd will just have to adjust. I wonder why the head phoned you and then said the teacher had no authority to say that it shouldnt be a problem moving your child....? bit of school politics and jealousy over authority? dont get involved in that hun! whether or not the teacher was outside her remit - your only concern is your daughters wellbeing and happiness.

JodyBPM

I must admit, even in your initial situation, I wouldn't have allowed my DD to change class (or even have discussed the possibility of it). Sometimes life goes your way, sometimes it doesn't - that's just the way the cookie crumbles. In life you don't always get your way, and you have to learn to make the best of it - its a good life lesson (not to mention that being separated from this years "best friends", will open up a space for her to get a whole new set of "best friends". Again another good life lesson to be able to easily get on with and form friendships with a variety of different people.)

I agree that the class teacher was wrong to mislead you about the possibility of a class change, but that was a simple human error, and I'm sure she now knows the school policy for the future.

moomoomama27

JodyBPM wrote: »

I must admit, even in your initial situation, I wouldn't have allowed my DD to change class (or even have discussed the possibility of it). Sometimes life goes your way, sometimes it doesn't - that's just the way the cookie crumbles. In life you don't always get your way, and you have to learn to make the best of it - its a good life lesson (not to mention that being separated from this years "best friends", will open up a space for her to get a whole new set of "best friends". Again another good life lesson to be able to easily get on with and form friendships with a variety of different people.)

I agree that the class teacher was wrong to mislead you about the possibility of a class change, but that was a simple human error, and I'm sure she now knows the school policy for the future.

Totally agree! As hard as it is when they say they have no friends in the new class, they soon make them, it's a great life lesson, and I have never asked for my children to be moved, only that they need to give it a term, and we'll review it, by the first week they've fully settled, and got a load more new friends!!

Gingham_R

It's just a mistake and, unless your child has special needs that make socialising very difficult, I'm not sure what the problem is?

Sweet_Pea_2

At my DD's primary school they did this, eldest DD only had one class change in Y2 but younger DD had two, Y2 and Y4. It was always made very clear that there was absolutely no way the decision would be changed once it had been made. DD2 once remarked to her teacher that she would like to remain with a friend, (this was in Y1, so she was only 6) and was told in no uncertain terms that the teacher would make that decision and no one else. I know of parents that tried to get the decision changed but no-one succeeded. Luckily both my DD's were OK about it and made new friends very quickly.

I think the teacher in this case seems quite approachable, she had already mentioned that someone else had moved and there was a space available etc. It seems the head has put his/her foot down, maybe other parents have been in contact and the whole thing is getting more complicated! It seems to me that its the heads rather blunt way of enforcing the decision that may be getting backs up. Theres not a lot you can do really, except say to the head that if the school do this again with the next year 4's that they should perhaps write to the parents and explain that it is now set in stone and will not be changed for anyone, and also make it clear to the teachers as well? Once headteachers have made up their mind from my experience they will give you plenty of flannel but are unlikely to change anything.

flippin36

:)Every year they have parents queueing up to try and change class/complain and the head has never budged as far as I know - it would be incredibly chaotic to keep changing classes according to current friendships. Honestly its not a big deal .

The classes tend to mingle together anyway, then they see each other at break, and they make new friendships. For my DD her friendships changed with the wind anyway.

As far as the teacher is concerned, my honest advice would be to pick your battles carefully with school as there may come a time when you really need them on your side. Make sure you tell your daughter all the positives about being in the new class, (teacher, other nice kids) don't let her know that you are a bit anxious for her otherwise she may worry over the holidays. Good luck it will be fine!