marriage and depression please help

k3lvc

sennheiser wrote: »

TBH he just sound thoroughly bored with life, and with the relationship, in fact you say he basically said this to the doctor.
Does he have many friends, does he go out? Do you do things apart? I don't think it was coincidence this started happening just before the wedding either.
All the best I hope you get through it.

That's a very judgemental post - depression clouds the judgement and feelings and masks reality. I couldn't have been happier in my relationship but it didn't come across in my actions which left me feeling frustrated.

As for coindicence before the wedding - it could just have easily raised it's head because he saw a particular breed of dog that morning which triggered a memory.

hurtandconfused_2

Kind of hurts that he's bored of life if that's it ... I feel I do my best ... Feel he's just very fed up of me and the kids. They just seem to get on his nerves at the moment

k3lvc

I can't guarantee it but what you see is not 'him' it's an illness

The below is a tough but honest read either to buy or from the library.

As I said before stay strong and look after yourself

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Depression-Partner-Depressed-previously/dp/1905410611/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1310034109&sr=8-1

j.e.j.

You may find you need to give him another ultimatum if he won't change his behaviour.

Perhaps he feels like he's 'failed' in having to take anti-depressants. Some people refuse to see depression as an illness, rather a weakness, which is a shame. It's such a common condition. Also, were the tablets having unwanted side-effects? Could that be why he stopped taking them?

CraigD

I can totally empathise with what you are going through. I am the OH though. I don't know how my wife copes. She has the patience and love of a saint. I have been behaving oddly for about fifteen years. I have been paying for sex on the streets, visiting brothels and meeting loose women from swinging sites. My mood swings from high to low, I have lost interest or pleasure in social (although I've never been a great mixer) activities, poor self-esteem, relationships, have poor appetite or overeat and can turn aggressive for no apparent reason (I put this down to passive-aggressive behaviour) and walked out of job without giving notice or took another job to get myself out of an anxious situation. At other times I can be charming and almost a socially capable person. What I do have problems in is maintaining these relationships for any length of time.

I have been on and off medication for this time and have tried everything going and not found the miracle drug. I have had hallucinations (such as believing Jesus was waiting in a car in a lay-by to give me lift to heaven before I ran away and felt the presence of the devil behind me before I shut the door of the house to keep him out). I have had one to one counselling and attended different classes to learn how to cope. I am gradually accepting that I will never be a well adjusted person but I can manage my condition with help.

I wish you well and hope you can stay strong. The other must thing to do is seek help. There are charities like Mind, Sane and Samaritans who offer some great advice along with the NHS. I hope your family is supportive of you because that is what you need. Take no notice of ignorance there is a lot of it about but they know no better and a lot of it is caused by fear and whipped up by media hysteria. You could also research what different drugs and therapies are available on the net.

In short as with all chronic illnesses there is no quick fix and will take a long time possibly a whole lifetime of suffering on the part of the mentally ill person and family.

hurtandconfused_2

No he just says he simply doesn't need them an he can't be on tablets forever. I think he git better, felt better , stopped them now he can't see he's back there again .

sibles

hurtandconfused

It is a vicious circle that people do get into.
There is also a good chance he won't be on tablets forever, it took me 4 years but I'm off them now.