alzheimer questions

elsien

To the OP, if you have specific homes in mind then you can get the inspection reports from the Care Quality Commission website, which will give you an idea of what they have to offer and any areas that CQC felt they needed to improve on. As we've all seen in the news recently CQC do not necessarily pick up on any areas of concern, but it's a starting point and will give ideas of the sorts of questions you need to ask.
The other thing to bear in mind is that some EMI units have waiting lists, so finding somewhere you like and getting a place there are not necessarily the same thing. It's better to start looking sooner rather than later.

dangers

I should have added that FIL went into a care home that 'specialises' in dementia, only it was mainly a normal nursing home and they couldn't cope with him constantly escaping - final straw he escaped in slippers and no coat on a cold march evening and walked over a mile to a pub. Part of this route was on a busy road without a pavement! We then moved him into the secure place where they only care for people with dementia and is far more suitable for him.

Only difference is that he has dementia caused by a stroke, he hasnt got Alzheimer's.

spaghetti_monster

Hi and thanks again for replies.

I don't think there's deprivation of liberty order, or at least not that anyone's mentioned.

Elsien - I live quite far from the family but will now go and visit for a while. I think I'll check out some homes with Mum and look them up (I already checked that CQC website and it looked quite interesting)

Dangers - our experience with a week in respite was similar. The home says it specialises in dementia, but couldn't cope with Dad at all. He wanders off too and in this respite place caused havoc by attacking people if they tried to help him wash (and he needed washing IYKWIM) - all par for the course with dementia.

mum-of-two_2

I'm interested in the phrase 'Deprivation of Liberty'.

My elderly Mum has been diagnosed with Dementia, it's come on pretty quickly (she was driving daily up to 9 months ago) and it's progressing fast, she also has some underlying health problems.

My Dad (who's getting increasingly frail himself) mainly cares for her with help from the family.

Social Services have arranged some non-residential care for her (help with dressing, Day Care Centre etc) which gives Dad a break.

A few days ago, she had a fall and Dad struggled for ages trying to get her up before thinking to ring us.

Reluctantly, we had that dreaded discussion and feel that it's probably time (for both their health and safety) to consider a care home.

We rang the Social Services contact who came to see us whilst Mum was at the Day Centre.
We explained about the fall and the stress that Dad was under - it was clear (at least to us) that he's on the edge of a breakdown himself - and she said something like
"what if your Mum doesn't want to go into a home. It woud be Deprivation of Liberty."

It made us all feel awful, as though we were just trying to get rid of her.

I told the Social Services contact that Mum had deteriorated greatly since she last saw her (only a matter of a couple of weeks).

When Mum returned from the Day Centre, I arched my eyebrow at the Social Services contact and she just nodded - in fact she said we should look for a care home that specialised in dementia.

But that phrase still rankles with us.

Was it an appropriate thing to say to us?
Was it even accurate?
I've been reading through the Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (DoLS) factsheet and I'm not even sure it would have applied in our case.

onlyroz

I am pretty sure that my mother-in-law's dementia accelerated the death of my father-in-law, so please don't anybody feel bad about putting a relative into residential care if the rest of the family can't cope.

spaghetti_monster

One of the things I'd been thinking about more and more over the course of Dad's alzheimer's - as a family we were mostly concerned with my Mum as caring for him 24/7 was a massive burden and starting to take its toll healthwise. But actually there were also reasons why it might be better for him to be in a home.
One of these was that (also a typical situation I think), to my Dad, Mum was enemy no.1. Although the main factor was the stress and physical danger to her, I had to think that it's also bad for him to be cooped up with someone who causes him so much anger and aggression (even though there's no logical reason for it, it's very real to him).

I once spoke to a nice lady from the Alzheimer's society (they have a helpline and you can speak to someone local, I'd really recommend it) and she spoke about "managing" someone's care more than trying to do everything yourself. For example, in my parents case, that someone else is dealing with the severe incontinence, trying to "escape", etc and the partner is more free and has more energy to do the nicer more personal things - talking to the person, activities (walking outside, looking at photos or whatever, playing a game, drinking tea, listening to music). Things which staff in a home (or visiting a person's home) don't always have time for (or you have to pay extra).
For my Dad these things could really perk him up (less so, now that he's in the end stage) and improve quality of life.
Although with our situation everything came to a sudden head with the section, we were already trying to persuade Mum that this was the way to go.

nicter

"Deprivation of liberty" used in your instance was I think just a phrase. In healthcare deprivation of liberty is a legal holding order which can be used where a person is deemed to lack capapcity. The "institution" ( for want of a better word) are able to apply for this and independent DOLS assessors will make the decision as to whether the detention is in the persons best interest.
It cannot be carried to a further placement therefore if the order is applied within a hospital setting when the patient is transferred to a nursing home that home has to apply for their own DOL order

mum-of-two_2

nichter
thanks for your reply.

The SS person is pretty new and, after reading about 'Deprivation of Liberty' I do think it was a phrase she just tossed out.

Unfortunately, both of us cottoned on to what she meant and found it very upsetting, especially as we'd had a really hard chat about what we thought would be best for both Mum & Dad and then had a further chat with Dad about how he felt.

Luckily, Dad didn't grasp what she was saying.

nicter

mum-of-two wrote: »

nichter
thanks for your reply.

The SS person is pretty new and, after reading about 'Deprivation of Liberty' I do think it was a phrase she just tossed out.

Unfortunately, both of us cottoned on to what she meant and found it very upsetting, especially as we'd had a really hard chat about what we thought would be best for both Mum & Dad and then had a further chat with Dad about how he felt.

Luckily, Dad didn't grasp what she was saying.

I do think this person was pretty unfeeling in the circumstances. Families go through an awful lot of guilt in these situations and often struggle on far longer than is healthy for them, particularly the older generation as they feel they are somehow letting their partner down.
Dont feel guilt (easy to say I know) Your mum will have 24 hour care and dad will be able to enjoy her company (hopefully)without the stress of having to care for her full time.

sheilavw

We are in a similar situation. My Mum has dementia and lives at home with my 44 year old brother who has downs syndrome. We have a carer who comes in and makes breakfast, then us as a family do everything else, all other meals, cooking , cleaning, washing and ironing. My mums main problem is her wandering. She was missing for 5 hours on thursday, was picked up where she used to live as a child. She is constantly in and out, often without coat or bag and people we know are bringing her home. We all go everyday but as soon as we have gone shes out again. We have now received some vouchers (E4) x 28 and looked at a lovely home that specialises in dementia and she has an assesment this wed. I know it will have to become permanent soon shes gone a lot worse lately. Social Services say they need to do an assesment for this but apparently we arent priority even though she has slapped my brother and has nearly been run over more than once