Weekly Flylady Thread 4th July 2011

slimbrunett

I understand when a man cheats on a women you want to seek revenge but when you have kids with that person its not always that right way, after all you should want them to always be in your life for the kids if they are a good dad even if they are a bad husband. Man can be horrible if you do and make things incredible awkward. I have never had experience of being cheated on but have friends that have and family members and those that have seeked revenge have never felt the benefits of it only short term feeling and getting out that frustration. You need to ask yourself whether you want to be in this relationship or not. Do you want to confront him and discuss why he felt he had to do this what he feels is lacking in your relationship make him choose between her and you and tell him that he must never keep any passwords secret from you if he does promise you will be keeping tabs and he is gone should this ever happen again. If you really can't forgive then again confront him and tell him exactly how you feel shout at him if you have to yell if it gets your point of view across and tell him to pack his things and leave. Make it clear that you want him still to be a part of your childs life but not yours. I believe its important that however we feel about each other as adults we work together as parents personally my husband would be out on his ear temp or perm i'm not sure if he had actually met someone in person it would be perm but as she's in another country and he knows he likely would never see her this perhaps is what the attraction is he can talk to her but knows nothing will ever come of it and therefore doesn't feel like he's cheating on you you'll never know if you don't discuss it with him. Good Luck

LameWolf

Hair all washed and squeaky-clean, and Mr LW has Stardropped the bath.:A

Piggers imho your OH needs to spend less time on the lappy and more time getting acquainted with the vacuum cleaner. But you know that.:( I'm cross on your behalf too, for what little that's worth.

slimbrunett

Make him work for you kick him out while you decide if you still want to be with him, if he wants to be with you he will grovel and bend over backwards to win you back or you should be hearing from his mother that he down and upset etc if he's out there partying chasing other women he's a sleeze you can do with out. Put yourself first like you said you are worth a damn site better

pigpen

slimbrunett wrote: »

I understand when a man cheats on a women you want to seek revenge but when you have kids with that person its not always that right way, after all you should want them to always be in your life for the kids if they are a good dad even if they are a bad husband. Man can be horrible if you do and make things incredible awkward. I have never had experience of being cheated on but have friends that have and family members and those that have seeked revenge have never felt the benefits of it only short term feeling and getting out that frustration. You need to ask yourself whether you want to be in this relationship or not. Do you want to confront him and discuss why he felt he had to do this what he feels is lacking in your relationship make him choose between her and you and tell him that he must never keep any passwords secret from you if he does promise you will be keeping tabs and he is gone should this ever happen again. If you really can't forgive then again confront him and tell him exactly how you feel shout at him if you have to yell if it gets your point of view across and tell him to pack his things and leave. Make it clear that you want him still to be a part of your childs life but not yours. I believe its important that however we feel about each other as adults we work together as parents personally my husband would be out on his ear temp or perm i'm not sure if he had actually met someone in person it would be perm but as she's in another country and he knows he likely would never see her this perhaps is what the attraction is he can talk to her but knows nothing will ever come of it and therefore doesn't feel like he's cheating on you you'll never know if you don't discuss it with him. Good Luck

I have experience of being cheated on.. and the best revenge was moving on.

OH hasn't actually cheated.. he has met this woman, he spent 2 weeks over there a few years ago.. and she spent the most part of it in the room next to his with a married man.. but I fully intend making his mother and sister aware.. they can join in making him feel the guilt.

If he even thinks about physically cheating I will make his life as difficult as possible in terms of seeing the children and just everything.. I have nothing to lose. Come April 27th, KH is getting the same treatment.. I am taking him for every penny I can and making his life very very difficult..

I am noones mug.

slimbrunett wrote: »

Make him work for you kick him out while you decide if you still want to be with him, if he wants to be with you he will grovel and bend over backwards to win you back or you should be hearing from his mother that he down and upset etc if he's out there partying chasing other women he's a sleeze you can do with out. Put yourself first like you said you are worth a damn site better

he isn't a sleaze at all in any sense of the word and wouldn't be out partying and stuff that has never been him.. and I don't want to kick him out.

I do want a bit of help and support and this slapper (because by all accounts she is.. his sister calls her 'that b!tch') to burger off

Dustykitten

Nine pots of blackcurrant jam made.
AGA a tad bit sticky - the smell of burning sugar reminds DH of his childhood!
Kitchen almost tidy.

Loving Hugh and Shirley on Question Time.

Valli

I have dealt with an invisible frog - I did not know it was there BUT I realised I am getting LOADS and LOADS of advertising/promo emails so I have unsubscribed from lots...
two clicks and they are gone =- I wasn't opening/reading them anyway - think they are 'residual' fromsites I've dropped in on or comps I have entered. Should stop me missing key emails now, anyway!

JillD_2

Goodintentions - yes the social bbq do for DS is a bit of a concern and I must admit I had thought of agreeing to go but then on the day saying he is having a bad day and we can't go - is that bad of me ?! Thanks for your advice

frittered - MEGA congrats :beer::j:T

Rachel - well done on making a start, focus on what you;ve achieved and just keep chipping away at it. It gets easier, honest. just takes time

Had a lovely afternoon, training session followed by get together with my NICE antenatal group Told them all about last night and the competitive unsupportive lot and they were all fab:D I am really lucky to have such a lovely group of friends. we have all been meeting every Tgursday for 8 years now, and our children all get on like siblings i.e. love/hate relationships! Its so lovely to see.

Off to find my list now for an update as I think I did quite well today.

pigpen

10 dollops chucked on ebeast.. now I have £2500 to raise and 6 weeks to do it in I have found new motivation

I may go feed the WM again and the TD no doubt.

JillD_2

Done today
[STRIKE]
- put away dry laundry
- put a wash on
- get washing out to dry
- wash mirror in our room
- hoover upstairs
- hoover front room, playroom, hall
- dust our bedroom
- dust DD2 bedroom
- empty DD2 castle
- empty upstairs bins
- garden waste out
- bins out
[/STRIKE]

Jills List for Friday
- dust front room, playroom, hall
- box up old toys to go to school
- declutter dining room
- dust and hoover dining room if I manage to clear it in time
- dust DS and DD1 bedrooms
- S&S bathrooms
- sort out Toddler group money and paperwork

Frogs
- phone Dyson re leaking washing machine
- book DD2 party
- mend DD2 bed
- DS birthday thankyous
- order canvases for playroom and kitchen
- get carpenter phone number
- garage charity stuff to charity shop
- cancel direct debits for WW & Curves
- cancel stupid water homeserv thing

toochoosey

Thanks Toots ( and again to everyone else) xx

I am feeling a lot more positive about it.....OH said i needs to be cut shorter (I was worried on that!) so I think it may be a thinned out bob!!

Last show(They are caling it a pageant!) went well....I helped backstage........collected DD...washed her hair....combed through, again......and she was flat out 5 mins after going to bed (show finished about 8:20......she was in bed by 10:10). Not sure how many of the children will be in school tomorrow!!!


DD has arranged to stay at DSD's tomorrow and it is planned that she stays at my Mum's on Sat(I'm going to a wedding part)...OH is doen the van so I have a weekend to myself

Waiting for TD so I can iron OH's shirts....then bed.....Goodnight all xx