Frugal Frump to Fab/Winter Solstice

Bitsy_Beans

Willow you won't pick anything if you walk round with the idea that you are too fat etc. Don't buy anything in order to slim down to it's a recipe for disaster. If you can't find anything on your own is it worth enrolling a good friend to be a shopping buddy and an impartial eye? We are all too good at seeing our flaws and what you might not think you'd look good in a friend might give an objective opinion and find that actually it is something you can wear xxxx
PS. Can I just add your post sounds like these are pretty dresses but I don't deserve to wear them because I am not skinny enough. You do deserve to wear pretty clothing not matter what you weigh xx

Can I just allow myself a Meh been craving chocolate for most part of the day. Am sick of this constant battle. Whinge over

Ellidee

Willow92 wrote: »

Trying to find a pretty dress to wear for when I go out for my birthday next month. I keep finding dresses and thinking "This is pretty, I can't wear it coz I'm too fat/my legs would be on show/I will never be able to lose enough weight in time"

What kind of dress would a nearly nineteen year old that wears a size 18-20 wear? Hm...

Willow I am de-lurking to suggest that you take a look at these blogs for inspiration

http://passionforfashion1983.blogspot.com/

http://oddsocksandprettyfrocks.blogspot.com/

Carmen

Good evening everyone,
It's been a long day so I plan to have an early night with my book.
Not much done today, did OCM, body scrub and slather, hair is looking better since having it cut. Smart but casual to go and see a friend,with a dab of Beautiful ( have run out of White Linen) which said friend gave me.
Willow, I am hopeless at advising people about fashion Where are you going for your b/day? What style do you like, are you tall/short, if you feel concious(sp) of your legs ( I do also, but I have bad VV's) just try on clothes that will minimise your worries.When I was nineteen it was mini skirts and pop art. Even then I remember there was very little choice outside of the clothes that were in vogue! So much more choice these days
Great suggestion from Bitsy, take a friend that will give you ahonest opinion. Good luck.

I am fading but must stay awake for another hour at least...zzzzz

Goodnight all.
Carmen x

PS. Bitsy, have the chocolate, draw a line and continue!

Willow92

Not sure where I'd be going, I like loads of different styles and I'm about 5 foot 7 so not too tall and not too short. I hate my chunky legs so I'd have to hide them. Plus they're ghostly white but I hate being tanned ^-^

Bitsy_Beans

Something suitable for opaque tights perhaps????

ETA Carmen I know what you are saying but it's like this every day at the moment

lolly101

Hey Everyone,

Carmen - Congratulations on the 2lb loss!!! :T

Tru - Great news about your nephew's new meds, fingers crossed they work for him

LL - Sounds like you got a bargain with the dining chairs. You've reminded me of a project I started. I bought an old telephone table with a seat - I painted it, re covered it, started on the studs and trim, but never found time to finish it... that was 2 years ago
It still sits in my hallway, where it was intended to go and I sometimes receive comments on how lovely it is, but I've kind of lost interest as it's been there so long! I love doing things like that, so really should make the effort to finish it.

Willow - I'm also 5ft 7, and am a size 16-18, although was an 18-20 not long ago! I used to look at dresses and think that I couldn't wear them because I was too fat, but a few years ago I had a bit of a revelation and started looking at dresses in a different way - You shouldn't have to fit the dress, the dress should have to fit you! Use the dress to highlight your best features, and hide your worst - you will feel much better in yourself if you are wearing something that suits your shape.
I also hate my chunky legs, but like wearing dresses, so will only go for knee length ones (unless I'm wearing black leggings underneath!) - flattering, and if you add a pair of heels your legs look much slimmer. Any dress I buy also has to be fitted around my waist, I have an hourglass figure with broad shoulders and hips, so if I wear anything loose fitting then I look huge all over! Think about what suits you, and go from there. Ellidee's links are great for inspiration (thanks Ellidee! ), I love the first blog, particularly the polka dot dress with pink cardi - very me, lol!

maman

Willow92 wrote: »

Not sure where I'd be going, I like loads of different styles and I'm about 5 foot 7 so not too tall and not too short. I hate my chunky legs so I'd have to hide them. Plus they're ghostly white but I hate being tanned ^-^

You've got me feeling guilty now willow, cos I remember saying something about not wearing things when I was fat. This was when I went through a phase of just wearing black from head to toe (and it's not just me. look at all the black trousers and other bits in the shops) but have now started enjoying a bit of colour.



For your birthday I think you have loads of choices but it will depend on what sort of evening you have planned and to an extent how others will be dressing. If you're determined to cover your legs, you could wear:

• short(ish) dress with opaque tights
• dress/tunic with leggings
• trousers
• maxi dress/skirt
• midi dress so only ankles/calves show

5ft 7ins is a good height so it really does depend on what sort of evening and in what sort of company you'll be spending your birthday. What you might want to wear for sitting in a restaurant could be very different from what you might wear to a club. Also how much do you want to spend? Are we talking Primark or do you want to splash out a bit? Personally, if your'e planning to lose weight then I wouldn't spend too much. Give us an idea of the sort of things you like then I'd be happy to give my two 'penneth. I think sometimes that comments from others makes you think. It's like bitsy said about an impartial friend to go shopping with. It's certainly got me thinking on the 'what to wear to the weddings' subject. Just ask your virtual friends for an opinion we've always got plenty to say:D

I've done little or nothing on the fab front today other than preparing healthy meals and moisturising. Oh and I did shape my nails. I've still got bits of housework to do for DD1 this week (help cleaning out old flat before she hands it back) so I'm keeping them short, well shaped and lashings of hand cream.

Carmen, sounds like your crops could be taken in with a big dart down the back seam including taking in the waistband if it's thin fabric. I've put off buying much before I got to my target weight. Ironically, what I don't have is any old/house clothes that fit. I think I might be off to Primark too, I just need something cheap to wear around the house.

lessonlearned

Willow - First of all at 5'7" and size 18-20 yes you may be heavier than you would like and ok possibly a tad plump. I wouldn't have classed that as "fat" though. So - lesson number one - stop calling yourself fat. We're not talking Hattie Jacques or Dawn French pre diet here, possibly a stone or two at most. Don't belittle yourself.

Secondly - weighing more than you would like to does not mean you cannot wear or don't deserve to wear something pretty, birthday or no birthday. Wearing something horrible/unflattering will only make you feel bad about yourself.

Make an effort with your grooming etc, choose colours that flatter you, wear clothes that make your heart sing.

Remember you should wear the clothes, they shouldn't wear you. If you feel uncomfortable or self-conscious in an outfit then it's not for you.

A few tips/optical illusions for "slimming down" your look

Start with your undies, a decent bra is a must, magic knickers, shape wear, underskirts etc - all help to give you a nice line.Good undies are like good foundations for a building.

Tailored clothes that fit nicely can take a stone off you.
Baggy, oversized clothes will make you look bigger.
Too tight clothes will draw attention to the fact that you are trying to squeeze into something that is too small.

Clothes will be more flattering if they skim rather than cling, so avoid stretchy fabrics - especially clingy tops.

A top to toe colour - it doesn't have to be black - will make you look taller and slimmer. If you have contrasting top and bottom colours it will cut you in half and make you look shorter and heavier.

A v-neck, scoop neck, boat neck or sweetheart neck will make your neck appear longer and reduce the appearance of a double chin.

Opaque tights perform minor miracles, avoid patterned tights
A heel will make your legs look slimmer
Avoid ankle straps, t-bar shoes etc - they can make your ankles look chubby.
Avoid flat shoes with knee length or calf length skirts - they scream "frump"

A dress that is cut on the bias is very flattering - the fabric will drape nicely across the body and flare nicely at the hem
Avoid anything fussy, like bows, frills or ruffles, pin tucks, gathers etc

Make the most of your hair, make up, nails etc
Choose a decent sized handbag, a larger one creates an optical illusion making the wearer look smaller in proportion - not too big though. Huge handbags look plain daft.

Draw attention to your best bits, cover up the bits you don't like.
For example, don't like your upper arms but you have nice delicate wrists. Wear three quarter sleeves and a pretty bracelet.

Finally - don't forget your posture - we've discussed this before, stand tall and proud - it can take half a stone off you.

Back in a mo ...........

lessonlearned

Well not the best of days I'm afraid.

On a positive gave DS1 some furniture and kitchenware so helping me to declutter whilst helping him to furnish his house. Also gave him quite a few cans of beer and a couple of bottles of grog that were left over from my birthday party for his housewarming party next weekend.

I looked in the mirror tonight properly for the first time in a few days. I look dreadful - as if I've aged 10 years in 2 days:(.

This weekend has been very difficult. I have been very weepy, my body a mass of aches and pains, my chest pains are back with a vengeance and I feel so dreadfully tired. I've eaten very badly, carb and chocolate cravings. It's all stress induced I know but I just can't seem to break the cycle at the moment. Realistically - my body is telling me no more.

OH told me he wanted to talk this afternoon. I guessed exactly what was coming. He said that he wanted to review all our arrangements, make an enduring power of attorney and a living will. When all that is done it will be time to go into care.

You can imagine how I feel. My head knows he's right but my heart screams no. OH just says enough is enough.

Anyway - we've got another assessment in the pipeline and OH has a check up with his consultant on Tuesday. I doubt very much that he will be able to come up with any new wonder treatment or wave a magic wand so I will start and get the ball rolling with all the legal stuff, as OH has requested.

I already have a lasting power of attorney but that only covers financial matters. The enduring power of attorney and living will are for when OH cannot communicate his wishes regarding medical decisions and treatments. He's obviously thought it all through and wants to do it all on his terms, which is only right and proper.

I know that he wants to go into care to make things easier for me, and realistically he's right. It does need to done in a planned and measured way rather than a last minute panic.

It's still very hard though.

Anyway enough of my woes.

Tomorrow I will go shopping, stock up with fruit and veg so that I can at least eat a bit more healthily rather than snacking on bread and wheat based carbs.

Time to draw a line and start (yet) again. I must break this vicious circle of poor diet/lack of exercise and feeling so drained. A few treatments and pamper sessions too over the next few days.

Thanks for "listening".

G'night All x

Bronnie

LL, you are a star!

Even though you might not feel it, you are!

And an inspiration; because like all of us you're human, but you do have far more than your fair share of stuff to deal with at the moment. You show your vulnerability, but you always look at the positive too and are ready to pick yourself up, dust yourself down and away you go again.

A shining star and guiding light, I reckon :T

xx