marriage break up and sale of house

Ashingtonian

Lol at GDB2222's comments. Obviously been in a relationship with a bad bloke and is now firmly in the "All men are b@stards" camp.:D

GDB2222

Ashingtonian wrote: »

Lol at GDB2222's comments. Obviously been in a relationship with a bad bloke and is now firmly in the "All men are b@stards" camp.:D

You're not exactly spot on there, I'm afraid. I'm a man, and I've been very happily married for 30 plus years.

Egg_custard_2

Rich22 wrote: »

There is no way I would give up my house without a fight....I except that I should pay for her to re-start in a new place of her own as she has contributed to things over the years. And seeing as I have put most the money into it, as I earn 4 times what she does I think that is fair.

If she earned less money because she was at home looking after your child/children, it isn't really fair to compare earnings in that way and I don't think that's how a solicitor would do it either.

I don't know the answer, but your original agreement seems by both parties to be something that was entered into as an acknowledgement that the relationship was new and may not have lasted (hence clause 5). The fact you were together for 16 years to me invalidates that agreement both legally and morally.

I hope you are able to come to a mutually agreed settlement.

Rich22

Egg_custard wrote: »

If she earned less money because she was at home looking after your child/children, it isn't really fair to compare earnings in that way and I don't think that's how a solicitor would do it either.

In fact we both cook and clean and take the kids to school, as I work shifts. So that is equally shared.

Plus I do the garden, clean the car, decorate the house...and do the overtime at weekends to keep our heads above the water.

And Im not a bully......regards to my comments about what a solicitor may say, that was only my response to what maybe my solicitor would say to hers. And regardless as to what advice I would be given I except that she deserves something in return.

GDB2222

You sound like a very good provider, but there's so much more.... Well, maybe you should both consider going to marital therapy. Yes, I know that you're not actually married. You want her still, so maybe you need to find out what is at the bottom of her wish to break up. The fact that you don't seem to know is pretty amazing. Then, of course, you need to decide whether you are prepared to change things around. The situation might not be irretrievable.

http://www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html

C_Mababejive

Rich22 wrote: »

There is no way I would give up my house without a fight....I except that I should pay for her to re-start in a new place of her own as she has contributed to things over the years. And seeing as I have put most the money into it, as I earn 4 times what she does I think that is fair.

I think a £25,000 pay off with child maintenance on top is more than fair.

She is only getting legal aid as she is a low earner. If I go to the solicitor I will pay to fight. However I don't want it to get to that as I don't want her to be without. And I know a solicitor will tell me not to give her hardly anything.

I could understand it if I'd had an affair !!!!

You cannot let emotion get in the way of this conflict. This is business,cold and hard and it is likely you will be disadvantaged severely when it is finally sorted out. I have known plenty of married men or men in common law relationships with kids who have been thoroughly shafted big time,sometimes walking away with almost nothing.

If you can make an informal agreement thats all to the good but get it DOCUMENTED and signed,,witnessed if possible.

neverdespairgirl

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Solicitors are not interested in you,your husband the children or any emotion.

Their goal is to make money and win the case.

I'm not at all sure that is true.