marriage break up and sale of house

Turv

boredwithhubby wrote: »

this is my first post so hopefully it is the right place.

I want to split up with my husband and therefore we need to sell our house. I just need some advice on how to split the proceeds. when I met him I had owned my own house for 10 years with a tiny mortgage...£33000 to be precise. he moved in and 3 years later I sold the house for £175000 and we bought a new house for £205000 . we paid off some credit card loans etc and our new joint mortgage was £97000. so effecitvely you could say that I put down a deposit of £108000.

as we all know house prices have fallen down and at a rough guess our house is now worth £180000 and our mortgage currently stands at approx £93000. so after it is paid off we would have £87000. How much of this should I offer to my husband, taking into account that all the equity was made on the first house which was mine and in fact on the second house we have lost £21000.

please help me get my head around this as I have a figure in mind and need to know if it is fair.

Have you spoke to a solicitor yet?

GDB2222

Turv wrote: »

Have you spoke to a solicitor yet?

Nah, far better to ask a load of ignorant strangers on the internet for advice. This works even better if you don't tell them all the facts.

Seanymph

and I stand by my advice. So many times 'reasonable' and 'supportive' exes priorities change two, three, nine years down the line when they have new relationships, new families and more children.

A solicitor will protect you, and ensure that you're children are well looked after through the divorce and seperation. Taking legal advice doesn't have to be ridiculously expensive, if you can agree then the costs are minimalised but you do need someone putting some perspective onto this.

Given that your husband is low paid, and either suffering depression or severely unmotivated chances are he isn't about to undergo a personality change and suddenly become a dynamic provider to his children by his ex-wife.

Go see a solicitor. Take proper impartial advice. Your first responsibility needs to be to your children, and to the home you are providing to them - after that comes any responsibility to your ex husband.

Thrugelmir

boredwithhubby wrote: »

I dont know if you have read the thread from the start but it wasnt even from the start as I had paid a massive deposit on our house.

If there's no formal agreement regarding this then it is irrelevant.

The base point for the division of your assets starts now. The primary factor in doing so will be the welfare of the children. Divorce is painful and stressful. So consult a solicitor as been suggested before. Unfortunately opinion counts for little in the cold light of day.

geoffky

boredwithhubby wrote: »

I wonder if that is why I have had so many people be so rude to me then? I am surprised by this as tbh I just used the first thing i thought of... I didnt realise that people would be so judgemental. but if you want to know the truth yes I am bored of him...I am bored of him not listening to a word I say, bored of his selfishness and moodiness, bored of him being so useless with money and spending so much of the little we have on himself, bored of him being so critical of everything I say and do, bored of having to drag him out of bed every morning like he was one of my kids, bored of him ruining every social occasion and holiday by drinking too much, bored of his negativity...do I need to go on? I didnt come on here to discuss the breakdown of my marriage...I came on here for financial advice and am amazed at how many people have taken the moral high ground over a stupid username.

I wish i had a pound for every time i have seen couples have a kick off on holiday due to the booze and being in the same room as each other for more than a couple of hours a day..i have seen some classics..
I was in a hotel last year and it was full of Russians but the men where bladdered by midday and the trophy wives were not impressed.

boredwithhubby

thanks to everyone who took the time to post.

an update- I have now spoken to my husband and we have reached a figure we re both happy with. I am going to give him £20,000 which means I will have roughly £67,000 so it works out at roughly 75/25 in my favour. taking all things into account this seemed like a reasonable solution. we are going to do everything in our power to make this split work for everyone and reduce the impact on the kids. he is going to rent a friends house which is only a few streets away and once the sale of the house goes through which realistically could take 6 months or more i will rent locally also as even with £67,000 I will still not be able to buy a house.

my next question is what is the best thing for me to do with that money ? I dont know anything about savings or investments or tax implications etc. I am aware that I will not be entitled to any income support or housing benefit due to the amount of my "savings " but I believe it wont affect my tax credits.

Rich22

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Children need a roof over their heads and it's both of your responsibilities to provide one. You need to reach a reasonable compromise with your soon-to-be-ex partner

My girlfriend will be moving out, and we will take alternate weeks to look after my son. Just wondered if I would be forced to sell my house ?

Seanymph

So, three pages of advice and you still didnt' see a solicitor.

C_Mababejive

sandraroffey wrote: »

when you divorce and have children, you do not have to sell your house. any court in the land will give you leave to stay in the house, until the youngest child finishes full time education.

please, leave all this to a good family law solicitor.

you are doing yourself more harm than good.

Thats possible...but would the same court also recognise the mans right to continue to live in the house as he is also a registered proprietor as per land registry?

C_Mababejive

Rich22 wrote: »

My girlfriend will be moving out, and we will take alternate weeks to look after my son. Just wondered if I would be forced to sell my house ?

You will have to provide further details...