marriage break up and sale of house

boredwithhubby

irlinit wrote: »

Yeah you're being too reasonable there sorry..

really? what do you think is fair?

Seanymph

'Fair' goes with equitable.

Things aren't equitable - you work 25 hours a week - your husband can work full time, immediately, he can work full time AND part time if he wants.

You however will have to fit YOUR work around children, school holidays, sick childminders, sick children, assemblies, certificate giving outs, school trips, teachers going on strike................ I could go on and on.

This isn't fair, because it isn't a level playing field. Regardless of the anti 'take him for everything you can' brigade YOUR reality is that he has more earning opportunity than you - and less responsibility.

You need a solicitor. Go see one, they will advise you.

boredwithhubby

Seanymph wrote: »

'Fair' goes with equitable.

Things aren't equitable - you work 25 hours a week - your husband can work full time, immediately, he can work full time AND part time if he wants.

You however will have to fit YOUR work around children, school holidays, sick childminders, sick children, assemblies, certificate giving outs, school trips, teachers going on strike................ I could go on and on.

This isn't fair, because it isn't a level playing field. Regardless of the anti 'take him for everything you can' brigade YOUR reality is that he has more earning opportunity than you - and less responsibility.

You need a solicitor. Go see one, they will advise you.

thank you very much I appreciate your reply. yes you are correct his earning potential is more than mine but we are both in low paid jobs and I will be lucky enough to get tax credits to help me. also he is a very hands on dad and that will continue so believe me school holidays, sick children, school trips etc will be his problem/pleasure as much as mine!!

bris

boredwithhubby wrote: »

also he is a very hands on dad and that will continue so believe me school holidays, sick children, school trips etc will be his problem/pleasure as much as mine!!

Sounds to me it was an even relationship, he should and probably will get 50/50. Just because you are boredwithhubby doesn't give you the right to shaft him.
Don't forget that even after the split and whatever he gets, he will still have maintenance to pay, which will last for a long time.
I am also pretty sure that if the roles were reversed and it was the hubby wanting to shaft the wife all hell would have broken loose on this thread.

Valli

if you CAN sort this out amicably there's nothing to stop you doing so. Solicitors cost upwards of £75 per hour so you can save no end if you negotiate.
There have been some pathetic comments on this thread.
You can actually do a DIY divorce too, check out the relevant pages on the direct.gov website.

A couple I knew split. She wanted out so she walked out with nothing, left him the house (and presumably the rest of the mortgage) and started again. New house, the lot. They shared (and still share) care of the kids. for them it worked out because they were able to negotiate. In my case it didn't work like this because my ex husband couldn't negotiate, he was too angry. And it didn't do the kids any good, unfortunately
Ignore some of the venom^
seems like other posters might have their own axes to grind.

boredwithhubby

bris wrote: »

Sounds to me it was an even relationship, he should and probably will get 50/50. Just because you are boredwithhubby doesn't give you the right to shaft him.
Don't forget that even after the split and whatever he gets, he will still have maintenance to pay, which will last for a long time.
I am also pretty sure that if the roles were reversed and it was the hubby wanting to shaft the wife all hell would have broken loose on this thread.

I dont know if you have read the thread from the start but it wasnt even from the start as I had paid a massive deposit on our house. it wont be even now either financially as the kids will be with me 5 nights a week so that fact alone surely would mean it shouldnt be 50/50. I dont know how many times I have to say I dont intend to shaft him so I am not sure why you are referring to anyone wanting to shaft anyone. also you dont know anything about the reasons behind the split so dont assume anything just because of a meaningless forum username! Also I dont expect him to pay any regular maintenance as he has a low paid job and he cant afford it and I would rather he had more money for when he has the kids

Gwhiz

boredwithhubby wrote: »

you dont know anything about the reasons behind the split so dont assume anything just because of a meaningless forum username!

Whilst this may be true, you have to admit it's a rather "provocative" username and may very well lead people to draw the wrong conclusions.

boredwithhubby

Gwhiz wrote: »

Whilst this may be true, you have to admit it's a rather "provocative" username and may very well lead people to draw the wrong conclusions.

I wonder if that is why I have had so many people be so rude to me then? I am surprised by this as tbh I just used the first thing i thought of... I didnt realise that people would be so judgemental. but if you want to know the truth yes I am bored of him...I am bored of him not listening to a word I say, bored of his selfishness and moodiness, bored of him being so useless with money and spending so much of the little we have on himself, bored of him being so critical of everything I say and do, bored of having to drag him out of bed every morning like he was one of my kids, bored of him ruining every social occasion and holiday by drinking too much, bored of his negativity...do I need to go on? I didnt come on here to discuss the breakdown of my marriage...I came on here for financial advice and am amazed at how many people have taken the moral high ground over a stupid username.

sandraroffey

when you divorce and have children, you do not have to sell your house. any court in the land will give you leave to stay in the house, until the youngest child finishes full time education.

please, leave all this to a good family law solicitor.

you are doing yourself more harm than good.

GDB2222

If it's any help, the starting point for divorce settlements is a 50/50 split of the marital assets these days. The family home would definitely be part of the marital assets, even if it had been funded mostly by one party to the marriage. You might persuade a judge to move a bit off 50/50 on the basis that you funded a large part of the house purchase from your assets, but don't be surprised if he doesn't budge.

The main point is of course the children, and their needs, which is going to complicate this matter no end.

You need some decent paid-for legal advice, because if you try to settle this divorce on the basis of what you think is right rather than what the judge will think is right, you're going to end up blowing most of the family assets on legal fees.