Another 1st timer!!!

beverleyhills

auntie_brenda wrote:

I want to be able to leave sprogs something - !

If you have given your sprogs a good start in life, it's time to start living your own life.

beverleyhills

auntie_brenda wrote:

As I've said above the £433 is way too high. Only me & D - but she has expensive tastes, even for packed lunches!!! She suffered a lot with divorce so don't want to cut back on her stuff.

You cannot protect your children for ever. DD needs to cut her coat according to her cloth.

Personally I would keep the cleaner and look for other ways of saving.

Seaxwyn

Personally I think a clean house is well worth paying for. I'm planning to hire a cleaner as soon as I can afford one.

auntie_brenda

Oh, lots of advice - can't you all agree though as I am now v confused.....:p

Ok, taking it in turn:
Prudent - you are right about food. All of you - you are right about kids. I think my problem is I feel guilty as I ended my marriage and moved kids out of family home - have been trying to make it up to them ever since. Which is silly, as they are really well adjusted. And although it's supposedly amicable now I get a buzz from DD saying she likes staying wth me better as I have better food!!!!

I have been on the old style board for inspiration. After the New Year I will be menu planning etc. I enjoy cooking - but wouldn't have time to do a lot of this (am thinking will batch cook on Sundays) if you horrible lot make me give up cleaner . Seriously, I can easily save £15 a week from food bill, so that will be cleaners wages. I promise I will be sensible and if I don't make savings the cleaner will go.


Prudent - your comments about paying off mortgage have really struck home. However, I truly don't have the mental or physical energy to take on housework at the (doc ready to sign me off but I won't succumb).

Lynz - money was spent on moving house a few years ago. I was living in crap area and felt guilty about kids living there (oh, I see a theme here......) so snatched up the house I am in now as it is a much better area. Hadn't saved for it as it was an impulse move - but don't regret it. Debt was 15k, have paid 1/2 off over last 2 years with various bits & pieces.

Bonnie - DD is 21. Also have DS of 19, he is in USA having gap year.

Beverleyhills - hmmm..... whenever I think like that I feel really guilty, seems v sensible coming from you though! Time for a family conference methinks.....

Tustastic - oh I feel guilty again . TBH struggle to look after dad. I go in every night to make sure he's fed & watered etc, Sats we go shopping and I do bits & pieces for him, takes up all morning. Suns he comes for dinner. That's it, I'm not a natural born carer. He has a carer every morning - they will come in at night when I am away, but it is £12 a time :mad: . DD will help out when I'm not there, but there are no buses in the evening and taxi costs the same as carer. She doesn't drive so can't really help out - but she is good to him, takes him up the town on the bus etc which he loves. I'm an only child, and dad's brothers are in a worse state than he is!

Saxwyn - I agree - problem is I can't really afford one.

auntie_brenda

Ok, having read all the comments and thought long and hard... my thoughts are:

I am going to sign up for mystery shopping. OK, I don't have a lot of spare time but I found this fun when I did it before. I will also sign up to more survey sites, and continue with pigsback (got loads of Boots vouchers from hotel bookings for work), also quidco. All extra money will go into offset mortgage account, unil cc deal ends.


Cancel 1 life insurance.
Limit baths to cut down on water use - DD will have to learn to use showers!
Continue to monitor water, gas & electricity - cut down as much as possible (though have Reynauds disease so need to keep warm)
Find out what £5.85 insurance covers! and decide if I should cancel.
Investigate BT broadband, and others.
Savings - carry on with both, withdraw from reg savers to pay on ccard before 0% deal ends. Monitor savings plan, write to them and find out how much it would be worth if cashed in.
Charity - am cancelling this. Is £180 a year I could use towards debt. Will keep a note and pay back what i 'owe' when I am debt free.
Car - will make sure I get quotes for servicing from a few garages. Will drive more economically if possible (though get 50 to the gallon as it is).
Have joined savings plan for glasses and dentist. After a year will cover osteopath. £17.99 a month, should save me £15 a month.
Clothes - allow myself 0!!. Sort out wardrobe over Xmas, prepare to ebay in spring. Work out what is needed and only buy that.
Holidays - allow myself £50 a month. BF pays for spends.
Xmas - am about to start thread on this. Am cutting to £50 a month.
Housekeeping, fun etc! Am cutting budget to £80 pw (£346 a month) at 1st, will probably need to stock up on essentials such as spices. Will keep a note of all spends and look for further savings, but will be carrying on spending a little going out / cooking for BF - he spends a lot on me, I like to cook a nice meal with good wine in return.

Nothing except diesel, work expenses and emergencies to go on credit card.

I reckon this will save me over £150 a month. It will have to - I have already increased the standing order for £300 I set up today to £450:T :T :T .

Finally, I need to sort out 'the guilt thing'

Thanks all for your help.

slowlyfading

Well it seems like you're doing well and are sorting out things quickly which is great, so just keep it up!! :j :j
nicola x

mjdh1957

Hi

Welcome to the DFWs and good luck on dealing with your debt!

Lots of good advice on here already, but I'd like to suggest you look at where you work - a 4 hr daily commute would drive me mad... Could you find a job a bit nearer home? That would give you more free time and mean less fuel and wear and tear on the car.

Just a thought....

beverleyhills

auntie brenda

I do not underestimate the effect that a devorce have on the children of the marriage, but they often manipulate the situation to their own advantage.

Try to get a care assessment for your Dad. The time you and DD spend with him should be quality time.

Top marks for DD who takes her elderly Grand Dad out on the bus. Sounds like she is a 'great gal'. Enlist her help in resolving your problem, rather than feeling guilty about removing her from the parental home. I'm sure you did what was right. I expect that DD will come up 'trumps'.

Banish guilt to the big black wheelie bin.

good luck.

auntie_brenda

mjdh - unfortunately I work in specialist field and skills not easily transferable, would literally be on 1/2 pay :eek: , also am only in office 2 days normally so not that bad :rolleyes:

Beverleyhills - dad has been assessed. 1 visit a few times a week, and self funded as has occ pension. Problem is when he is ill he has to pay for additional help on ad hoc basis. Danger is he runs out of funds so has to sell home and pay for FT care because he does not have funds to pay for respite care when needed. Don't want this as folk I know who've gone into FT care seem to go downhill fast.

Kids are well adjusted - but when did mothers let that get in the way of a good guilt session......:o

Don't mention wheelie bins or I'll have to start on my recycling guilt :rolleyes:

Anyway, good news - was still registered with mystery shopping co & when I logged on to email account I don't use often there were some jobs offered - 3 x £10 coming my way on 2nd January!!! And sold another book on Green Metropolis - 2 this week!!!!! Go me!!!!!!:T :T :T

Can anyone remind me of the mystery shopping site where you log on and search by post code please?

Thanks all!

medman

hi AB

Read your thread, sounds like you're on the right road and lots of good thoughts on here.

I had a couple of ideas:

If your on Economy 7 Electric it might be worth buying a timer plug for your tumble drier. Then set the drier as normal and the timer will switch on and off for you. We use them for lights when we're away for any length of time but we used to use them when we were on Ec7. You could also use them for slow cookers and other appliances when batch cooking.

Second one was to offer the cleaning job to your DD at £40 pm, she would save half her B&L and you would save £20 pm. Might not be her bag but a thought.

We have just installed low power bulbs throughout the house. depending on level of use you can save up to £9 per year per bulb. They also last a lot longer so are less likely to let you down at the most inopportune moment.

Good Luck :xmassign:

MM