Had to make that awful decision today

janninew

Hi
I had to make the worst decision a pet owner has to make this morning - have my beloved boy put to sleep

He was a 9 year old boxer called Charlie and has been with me since he was 8 weeks old, I'm lost without him. He started fitting a few months ago but was on medication which controlled them well. At the weekend he had a funny turn and never came back out of it. He couldn't sleep for more than 10 mins at a time, spent all night walking in circles, didn't respond to my voice, would forget to go outside to do his business and just go where he was stood.

I knew last night that he had enough, he just gave me the look. I'm sat here in floods of tears and missing him so much. The end was peaceful, he slipped away on my knee with his eyes looking at me.

I can't get the image of his body laying on the floor and he eyes staring as I left the vets.

I know he had a great life, I gave him all a dog could ever want. Everytime I see a picture of him or one of his toys it sets me off again.

Feeling a bit lost and really can't believe he's gone for ever.

chris_n_tj

First of all ((((((hugs)))))) there is nothing I can say that will take the pain away but remember you have done the nicest thing for your beloved Charlie. He is now at peace running free at the bridge free from pain.xxxx

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

ameliarate

my heart goes out to you, I can't tell you how I dread that day.

Darlyd

Awe sweet I am so sorry to hear this. Same happened to us 4 weeks ago with Sam, Exact same thing too.. We got him scanned and he had a brain tumor. It's heart breaking. But you will cope better as the day's goes by.....

Big hugs xx

creditcarddebt

I really really feel for you, we have a 13 year old boxer and we are going through similar at the moment, we are trying to decide when the time is right for him to go....reality is that we don't want to make that decision. We know the end is very near.

We lost one of cats in January, the first of our animals to go, and at the time I thought my heart was broken forever, but it does get better, and the time will come where you can remember them with a smile instead of tears.

(Will need reminding of that when the time comes for us to make the decision to let him go):(

HRV

So sorry for you, my thoughts are with you. It will get easier. Treasure the time you had together xxx

janninew

Thank you for your kind words, they do help. I've sat here and cried for 2 hours sold, more than I've ever cried. I know it sounds terrible but I'm more upset now than when I've lost human family members. I think it's because I had to make the decision and I'm torturing myself that I made the wrong one and he wasn't ready to go. Should I have given him more time?

I have another dog and he is lost without his brother, he keeps looking for him and I'm worried how he will cope when I go back to work next week.

janninew

creditcarddebt wrote: »

I really really feel for you, we have a 13 year old boxer and we are going through similar at the moment, we are trying to decide when the time is right for him to go....reality is that we don't want to make that decision. We know the end is very near.

We lost one of cats in January, the first of our animals to go, and at the time I thought my heart was broken forever, but it does get better, and the time will come where you can remember them with a smile instead of tears.

(Will need reminding of that when the time comes for us to make the decision to let him go):(

I'm sorry to hear about your boxer. People told me I would know when Charlie was ready to go and I really did know last night. He had given up on life and had no spark, no waggle in his stump. I hope you have some more time with your boy and just cherish him until the end.

MrsAtobe

So sorry for your loss :grouphug:

vicx

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had to make the awful decision 5 weeks ago when I had to have my 15 year old Yorkie PTS, it is still breaking my heart. Almost 6 weeks and the pain is still unbearable, I am still crying every day and night. It's natural to feel guilty but in time you will realise what you done was for the best. It was the last kind thing you could have done for your dog as he was suffering. I still feel guilty but I know my dog was suffering and he would probably not have made it another day. A day too early is better than a day too late x

meritaten

Janninew - you didnt make the wrong decision at all! you made the right one! I have been in the exact same position as you when my staffy started fitting when coming around from anaesthetic. the vets tried for a couple of days to bring her round but everytime they let up on the anaesthesia it was exactly like your dog was. The decision was the right one because the alternative would be a dog permanently in petit mal with occasional grand mal seizures. Not an option for a caring owner is it? this was over twenty years ago and believe me I cried buckets over her. over time i came to accept that I had given her a very happy life and tried to ease her passing. I still think about her now and again and treasure the memories and pics of her. I am sure that when I pass, my lovely Annie will be waiting for me (actually she will probably be the one tugging at my sleeve pulling me along) and I look forward to playing with her and my other pets again.
what vicx says is right too - I did delay too long in saying enough is enough for my cat Nicky - and feel so guilty now. so yes, better a day early than even an hour too late!