Pay my csa but ex moved away

Craftycarper

Hi all I pay my csa weekly at £150 which I have no problem doing. I am not on birth certificate or married to her. I know they are my kids as they are my double. Turned up 1 day and house empty and gone away with no word. I have asked the csa to facilitate contact between us as want to see my kids. There was no violence in relationship we were just to young at the time. Hindsite is a great thing. I don't think this will come to anything from csa. Does anyone have ideas of how to contact her without spending mega bucks I don't have. Advice would be appreciated and I know some costs will be involved. Thanks

fannyanna

Have you looked on social networking sites?

Do you know any of her friends or family?

Edit: Have you asked the people who are living where she used to live - they may have a forwarding address for her (thy might not give it to you but you could write a letter and ask them to send it onto her for you).

Viper_7

You should seek legal advise, the CSA will not be in any rush to help you.

If you are the biological father, she cannot just take the kids and move on without notifying you.

Craftycarper

Was cut cold on social network sites when found her there. I don't know her friends and is hard as I'm in midlands and she lives in Essex still I hope. Csa are all good taking ££. But yes am sure they won't be in any rush. Is there a court order I can get to get in contact with her?

Craftycarper

Am sure she has moved on with her life as have I. I don't want friction with her just the opportunity for my kids to know me. And then they can decide for themselves if they don't want to see me

chriszzz

Hi Craftycarper,

I do sympathize with your situation, the very same thing happened to my oh, one day he turned up as arranged to pick his kids up and the house was empty, he asked her family where his ex and the kids were but no one would tell him anything.
He sought advice from solicitor who said because she left the marital home that he could move back in there if he had a key, he told her family this (method in his madness so to speak) and low and behold she moved back into the family home, she had rented a house near her new boyfriend and had plans on renting her marital home that they both had joint share.

The lengths some go to to make contact difficult is beyond me, unless there are special circumstances. He did get to have contact again but again through him having to use solicitors to fight for him, its not good enough though is it when there are unfounded reasons that the parent with custody can just up and change things to suit themselves without consideration to the children or other parent, and still want the financial support.
As suggested before try family, friends, social networks, even the child's school, they may know where they have gone to live.

Craftycarper

I will try the school thanks. It is a bad day when pay nrp gets shafted but yet still the bad guy in everyone's eyes who has not been in the situation. The csa are worse than criminal if you ask me. But maybe when pwc has to contribute they might come out of woodwork. I would rather give her money than secretary of state.

chriszzz

I know how hard it can be when you have a difficult ex and how unfair it can be just to gain access to your children, jeez i could write a book on it!

The law really needs to change in circumstances like this but i guess no one really cares only the parent who has no choice and looses out on seeing the children but jeez try and stop csa payments and s..t happens, now they have something in place of the money, and before anyone gets wrong end of stick, i support that all parents pay for their children, but it should be equally important that the parent who no longer lives at the family home and wishes to maintain contact should be free to do so, unless there is a valid reason in place, parents who block contact should also have penalties made against them.

fannyanna

Unfortunately child maintenance and access are two completely seperate issues.

The CSA can do nothing about access or contact. All they can do is provide your contact details to your ex. It's then up to her to contact you although from what you've said I'm guessing that's not going to happen. I don't mean to sound harsh but I wouldn't hold out any hope of a positive outcome via the CSA route.

Craftycarper

Fair comment. I pay £150 a week. And I'm sure her dwp payments won't equate to that so where is the money going? Get taxed on wages and government want more lol. I think csa will fold in the end as costs to much. 465 million pounds on this system and still does not work and won't pay for weekly bin collections. The government is corrupt!!! I think about my children everyday and yet the government decides to see fit on leaving my family now border line poverty. I was better off on benefits but that's no example to set kids is it. When I originally contacted the csa. I said I would pay £100 pw. Oh no lamb to the slaughter. They wanted more. And take money from my now family tax credits(taking food out of other children's mouths to feed government officials who steal off of us legit tax payers) I hate this government. Ranting sorry.

PreludeForTimeFeelers

Craftycarper wrote: »

Fair comment. I pay £150 a week. And I'm sure her dwp payments won't equate to that so where is the money going? Get taxed on wages and government want more lol. I think csa will fold in the end as costs to much. 465 million pounds on this system and still does not work and won't pay for weekly bin collections. The government is corrupt!!! I think about my children everyday and yet the government decides to see fit on leaving my family now border line poverty. I was better off on benefits but that's no example to set kids is it.

The entire £150 per week goes to her, for your children.