Lost friend due to lending money

sat56

2 years ago i lent a mate and work colleague sum money, on agreement that they would pay it back over 2 years at an agreed rate.

We are now in month 22 of the 2 years and only 9 of the payments have been made.

Now i know this mate has had money difficulties in the past an have been sympathetic and lenient with the payments but the difficulties have settled down.

I am now having to ask for the money every month but am still getting excuses.

The latest excuse was that they needed the money to pay for a holiday. This at the time stunned me into silence.

I waited a week stewing and eventually said that your taking the **** now.

Now im not the type of person that would normally do this, and im feeling guilty but it just pushed my buttons so much that i had to say something. I may not have gone about it the right way but whats done is done.

Im regretting lending the money in the first place, i know u shudnt but cant change now.

Apparently im getting wot is owed by the end of month, in a form of reconcilliation i said the nxt day that you can carry on making payments as long as there regular but this option was rejected. I assume that the money will be borrowed from elsewhere.

Was i right in saying something i dont need the money, should i try and rescue the freinship, why am i feeling guilty.

Stephb1986_2

You feel guilty because they took full advantage of you and you've had enough, Theres nothing wrong with that. I would have done the same, I hope you get it sorted soon.

Steph xx

Pollycat

My view is that this person (we won't call him a friend) has taken advantage of you if you had both agreed a payment schedule and he hasn't stuck to it.

Let him give you what he owes and sort himself out by borrowing from someone else.

I wouldn't feel guilty, you haven't done anything wrong.
On the contrary, it sounds like you've been remarkably patient with him.

He might get over his strop and try to rekindle your friendship, he might not.

I hope he doesn't make things awkward for you at work, though.

shop-to-drop

They are in the ones in the wrong don't feel guilty get the money back fro them ASAP and learn from the experience. How they had the nerve to prioritise a holiday above repaying you I will never understand!

Polmop

Do you really want a friend who would prioritise a holiday over their friendship and loan with you.

tanith

Don't feel guilty they were taking the p!ss and they know it... you were perfectly right to feel aggrieved they'd take a holiday rather than pay whats owed..

Bloomin_Freezing2

Don't feel bad, he is not respecting you or valuing your friendship if he is treating you like this. I cannot believe that he is sorting his holiday off before paying you, even more I can't believe he actually told you this!!

Get the money he owes you, hopefully whoever he gets it from will be a bit more forceful if he doesn't stick to the agreed terms.

I bet he thinks that as it was 2 years ago it's not so important.

It must've been a fair amount of money. Think twice if anyone asks again. Lending money between friends can easily end up with fall outs.

Jesswithwings

I think you were right to have said something. If I borrowed money from someone there's no way I'd be having a holiday or any luxuries for that matter until I'd settled my debts. I borrowed money from my mum a few years back and it made me feel sick to owe her money. This person needs a reality check - you dont borrow money and miss repayments while spending out on stuff you dont need :mad:
Accept the repayment in full at the end of the month (we'll see if that actually happens ) and feel sorry for whoever the next lender was. People like this drive me insane.

*Louise*

You were right to say they were taking the mick, because they were.

If a friendship has been lost then it is down to the other person taking advantage of your generous nature and not appreciating it enough to make sure you got your money back when you were meant to.

Who needs friends like that - you're better off without.

maryotuam

I agree. There is nothing wrong in being assertive. They will actually respect you more deep down and are probably surprised you are not the doormat they thought you were. Keep up the pressure until you get all of your money back.
If I borrowed money from a friend I would not be happy till I paid them back and would be forever grateful to them.

serious_saver

You were right to say something. Accept the money as it will be better than having an unpaid debt hanging over the friendship.

Presumably you lent them the money because they couldn't get the money elsewhere. If they're situation has changed enough that they can source it from somewhere else then they should do.