How to make new friends, with so little time?

sibles · 15 June 2011 at 1:21PM

I don't think that is very fair. There are many reasons a person finds it difficult to make and find friends, I know you do have to go out and make the effort, but to say its totally dehaani's fault she (assuming you are a she, sorry) is struggling isn't nice.

I think sometimes you do have to pretend to be braver than you are though. Deehani do you have any hobbies? Or could you take something up? There are some social groups for people who are looking for new friends, for example if they are new to an area, but can't for the life of me remember what they are called round here.

Good luck

tomatoe_2 · 15 June 2011 at 1:25PM

Yes. Many people drink in a group and pretend to be friends but are not. The thing they have in common is a need for alcohol. Walk into any wetherspoons pub in the day and you will find a table near the tv full of old men with nothing in common except a desire for cheap booze. They think they are friends, but its false. They are just trying to avoid drinking alone.

You could try to find friends around a hobby or interest. What are your interests ?
Tennis ? Lionel Richie ? Horses ?

relic · 15 June 2011 at 1:30PM

tomatoe wrote: »

Yes. Many people drink in a group and pretend to be friends but are not. The thing they have in common is a need for alcohol. Walk into any wetherspoons pub in the day and you will find a table near the tv full of old men with nothing in common except a desire for cheap booze. They think they are friends, but its false. They are just trying to avoid drinking alone.

You could try to find friends around a hobby or interest. What are your interests ?
Tennis ? Lionel Richie ? Horses ?

My hobby is watching Lionel Richie on a horse playing tennis.

No wonder I have no friends!

dehaani · 15 June 2011 at 1:30PM

sibles wrote: »

to say its totally dehaani's fault she (assuming you are a she, sorry) is struggling isn't nice.

I think sometimes you do have to pretend to be braver than you are though. Deehani do you have any hobbies? Or could you take something up? There are some social groups for people who are looking for new friends, for example if they are new to an area, but can't for the life of me remember what they are called round here.

Thank you. I'm male.

I have two hobbies and I had joined local groups in the past. One of which met every second Wednesday evening and an internal change in my work ensured I couldn't attend any more. Previous to that I was in a specialist computing club where all the members worked in IT except me so I never really felt part of it but again work commitments prevented me from attending.

LegalBlonde · 15 June 2011 at 1:32PM

I'm just glad you have now mastered verbs. The rest will come in time.

SurreyBear · 15 June 2011 at 1:37PM

I can sympathise with the OP to some extent. I lived in Edinburgh for several years amd had no friends - depression and I kept using the excuse of my job for not getting out there. Not saying the OP is using an excuse (although every good suggestion has been met with resistance) but sometimes you have to "make" time.
If you can't find anything you want to do, start your own club. I set up a social group on meetup.com which now has over 40 members and meets regularly - meetup.com is not an online community but one where you must meet in real life too.