Please help, seriously need some advice(updated)

sammy_wheeler

did she ring back?

jellybabes

If it helps citizens advice have given me advice over the phone before, can you take phone calls at work? I phoned with a problem and they phoned me back within half an hour. Really hope everything gets sorted out for.

kazwookie

Can the castle move things backwards to 3pm say? instead of 5pm?

trying_2_b_good

Sorry - I'm slightly confused. Are you saying that the extra £100 just went into the back pocket of the registrar?

Is there another Registrar available to marry you? I would say that they should pull out all the stops and make sure that the ceremony goes ahead, as one of their staff has been decietful.

With regards to the castle staff - kick up a fuss! The person who did it should be investigated. Where they just naive? new to the job? Or do they need to be sacked? Threaten them with the press if you don't get the results you want. But use it as a means to an end: enjoy your wedding day there with them grovelling and request for freebies! I'd be on the phone booking an appointment with the Manager now ASAP.

Dekazer

This isn't really a solution to your problem, but some friends of ours had a lovely Humanist ceremony at a stately home. As the venue wasn't licensed they got married at a registry office beforehand, and then had their open air ceremony, with all the guests present, later.

Perhaps you could have a different sort of ceremony at 5pm in the same venue.

I do hope the castle get back to you and reassure you that they will be working to higher standards from now on. Might it be worth arranging a visit to speak to the person who'll be managing your day?

moongarden

wow that's a doozy to drop on you at the 11th hour! Firstly i know its going to be impossible but please don't get too stressed about it. There are options available to you to work around it.

One option (which I am using myself) would be to go to the register office the week before and marry there to do the legal bit. Once this is done you can still have the officiant at your main event say all the words the same - vows and everything - the only bit they don't do is the signing of the register as its already done.

The other option as someone else suggested is that you get the ceremony brought forward to earlier in the day. Don't forget that you have the upper hand here as you have done nothing wrong and they should really be massively apologising. This might mean you can get them to throw in lots of extras for free to make it up to you.

Also you should be able to cancel the contract and get your deposit back as they have sold you something they can't deliver.

lupyloo

Hi and thanks for the responses, well the lady did phone back last night but didnt answer the phone, just couldnt face it. She left a message saying that she would contact me first thing this morning or tonight after work. up to now she hasnt phoned. The registrar is sorted, they are going to bring in someone from out of the area to marry us and could not stop apologising, my main gripe is the castle.

I love the venue but have lost all faith in the wedding planner! I dont know if I want to speak to this head of sales lady, I really think I should take it to the top. I have found the name of the hotel manager and the owner and I am going to write them a letter. I just dont really know how to word it yet.... I would just like to feel that this is going to be the most important day of my life, not just another couple of grand in their till. Any ideas what I should say?

Many thanks Lupyloo

laaljocky

Glad to hear that the registrar is sorted.

Please don't let the wedding planner ruin your dream wedding. You have put so much thought and effort into finding your dream venue and one person has spoiled it. Explain exactly how you feel to the sales lady and if you have no success with her then take it further. Though I would also write to the manager and owner and explain exactly what has happened. As moongarden says "you have done nothing wrong" so get them to apologise and get as much as you can out of them whether it extras thrown in or a discount on what you have already booked.

Good luck with the call. You can turn this around.

lupyloo

Thank you laaljocky, you hit the nail on the head, I wont let it spoil my day and I will turn it around x

Just got off the phone from the head of sales and she is denying any knowledgability of knowing that this was not legal.She did agree though, that indeed, we would have not been married as this would not have been done through the books in the correct fashion. She did apologise as apparently she was the one who contacted the registrar to ask them to come late and agree to the money. I asked her outright how such a leading wedding venue with years and years of experience could not know this was not right, her response was that she trusted the senior registrar (who asked for the £100.00) to be doing the right thing. I have agreed in principal to keep the wedding there but have told her that I will be forwarding a letter with my points of concern in relation to this and also the poor customer service, and change of what was included (room discounts, chair bows, choice of menu) when I went to pay and sign contract. I also told her about the wedding planner making me feel like she wanted me to go and was put out when my dad asked to see 2 different rooms, before he payed.

Is there any particular place on here that I could post for some advice on how to word my letter and indeed what I should be saying in it. I didnt tell her I would be forwarding the same letter to her bosses though as I hadnt decided until later.

Oh and I wasnt even offered a bottle of bubbly as an apology...thought that would be the least they could do. Or am I just making a mountain out of a mole hill?

floss2

lupyloo wrote: »

.....I have found the name of the hotel manager and the owner and I am going to write them a letter. I just dont really know how to word it yet.... I would just like to feel that this is going to be the most important day of my life, not just another couple of grand in their till. Any ideas what I should say?

Many thanks Lupyloo

Write everything down in a Word document, then you can shuffle it around easier.

Write down all the phone calls, meetings, emails etc, then put them into date order, earliest first, with names.

Then write a separate letter to say something like:

"Dear Mr Lumley Castle,

I am writing to register my concerns in relation to the planning of my wedding at Lumley Cstle on xxx.

I have been dealing with Ms xxx, wedding planner, and it has come to my attention that her recent request for £100 cash that was paid as a further "fee" for our 5pm wedding ceremony was not of an official nature. Naturally this has upset me greatly and I now feel that I have no confidence in this wedding planner to create what should be the most special day of our lives.

I have of course raised my concerns with the Registrar's Office in xxx, and I understand a full investigation is being undertaken.

I would be grateful if you could also investigate this matter and to assist you, I have attached a chronological list of all contact with Ms xxx.

I also wish to enquire what your cancellation terms would be in this instance if my fiance and I decide that we do not wish to be married at your venue.

I look forward to hearing from you within the next 5 days.

Yours sincerely,

Miss Lupyloo & Mr Lupyloo-to-be"