Need help to move in with my boyfriend in the army!

Marker_2

helsee wrote: »

you dont have to spend much to get married.....

If you are on income support then you CANNOT afford to marry.

helsee

Marker wrote: »

If you are on income support then you CANNOT afford to marry.

well i dont want to hijack the thread but i beg to differ...lets agree to disagree....

3v3

Marker wrote: »

If you are on income support then you CANNOT afford to marry.

Utter tosh!

EmmEve

Well i suspect the partner who actually works for a living might contribute to his own wedding. Not to mention family often help. Not to mention she/he/they might have savings they could use.

*pinkpanther*

It costs next to nothing to get married in a registry office, depends on your view whether its the wedding or the marriage thats important. I cant say I saw anywhere in her post that she asked for advise on getting married, whether they are ready to get married or their commitment to eachother.

Me and my husband married when he was a cpl, we lived on his single wage, paying the highest rent for a qtr, then we had our 2 kids. It was do-able. For the first 6 months or so we did struggle, getting used to going down to a single wage and the rent wasnt easy but welcome to army life, you have to learn to adapt very quickly.

Basically your saying you need as little time as possible between getting married and getting a quater as I assume you would have to start paying rent on your place now? Is there no family you could move in with while you wait? I think the waiting list depends on where you will be based. His best bet would be to ring the housing office to get an idea.

MrsVS

My husband is a Lance Bombadier too. His barracks are over 3 hours drive away. I have a 3 & a half year old daughter & I work 20 hours a week & Im also training in my new chosen career step for when we move to married quarters, which will hopefully be Jan/Feb time next year. Money is tight. We get just under £10 per week tax credits to help pay for childcare whilst Im at work. I dont get much help from family, not because they wont (they are a wonderful family) but they all work full time too. My husband claims back to home pay & he gets quite a lot. We havent had a full months yet as we didnt realise we could claim this until Feb & then we had to get all the relevant paperwork (it has to be so may utility bills with his name on plus countal tax. We had the council tax statement but we didnt have any bills at first because eventhough we share the bills, I just kept my name on like always - I had bought the house before we met). By the time we actually got everything sorted, he's been away a lot but I think he gets around £150 a month? Something like that - it helps A LOT!
We dont have any debt or anything (other than mortgage & loan for my husbands car) but we still dont have much left over. We sit with a pen & paper EVERY month & work out everything & then what we have leftover for food, pet food (we have a dog & lizard) & anything else we have forgotten. We have just £35 a week to live on this month. Its tight but its do-able. I meal plan every week & shop at the markets. I use as much fresh produce as possible & try to stay away from any processed & convenience foods & I grow what I can in the garden. Im only a novice but I have lettuces, cabbages, tomatoes, spring onions, leeks, strawberries, potatoes, I did have cucumbers but I always manage to kill them! lol. Every penny helps! If we have months where theres lots of events, birthdays etc, I'll have a clear out & sell stuff that we no longer need or want. U can make it work & theres nothing more satisfying than holding your head up high knowing that everything u have got, u have worked for!
We were like this before we married too.
A girl I know has a son who is just over one year old & she lives with the father but claims that she's a single parent & told me its cos they dont know what her partner will earn as he is self employed!!!
It makes me so mad when she can afford all the latest mod cons, i Phones, Kinnect etc, concerts, loads of days out to Alton Towers etc but at the end of the day, she's a fraud & one day it WILL catch up with her. My daugher doesnt go without anything. We have fab days out. We find little farms etc that are cheap entry rather than the most obvious & well known places that cost a fortune. We go out for hours in the fields with the dog. We pack up a little picnic hamper & the world is our oyster.
I dont see any reason why u cant do this. Yes it requires a lot more effort & thought but its honest!
Good luck for your future together.

Fergie76

MrsVS wrote: »

My husband is a Lance Bombadier too. His barracks are over 3 hours drive away. I have a 3 & a half year old daughter & I work 20 hours a week & Im also training in my new chosen career step for when we move to married quarters, which will hopefully be Jan/Feb time next year. Money is tight. We get just under £10 per week tax credits to help pay for childcare whilst Im at work. I dont get much help from family, not because they wont (they are a wonderful family) but they all work full time too. My husband claims back to home pay & he gets quite a lot. We havent had a full months yet as we didnt realise we could claim this until Feb & then we had to get all the relevant paperwork (it has to be so may utility bills with his name on plus countal tax. We had the council tax statement but we didnt have any bills at first because eventhough we share the bills, I just kept my name on like always - I had bought the house before we met). By the time we actually got everything sorted, he's been away a lot but I think he gets around £150 a month? Something like that - it helps A LOT!
We dont have any debt or anything (other than mortgage & loan for my husbands car) but we still dont have much left over. We sit with a pen & paper EVERY month & work out everything & then what we have leftover for food, pet food (we have a dog & lizard) & anything else we have forgotten. We have just £35 a week to live on this month. Its tight but its do-able. I meal plan every week & shop at the markets. I use as much fresh produce as possible & try to stay away from any processed & convenience foods & I grow what I can in the garden. Im only a novice but I have lettuces, cabbages, tomatoes, spring onions, leeks, strawberries, potatoes, I did have cucumbers but I always manage to kill them! lol. Every penny helps! If we have months where theres lots of events, birthdays etc, I'll have a clear out & sell stuff that we no longer need or want. U can make it work & theres nothing more satisfying than holding your head up high knowing that everything u have got, u have worked for!
We were like this before we married too.
A girl I know has a son who is just over one year old & she lives with the father but claims that she's a single parent & told me its cos they dont know what her partner will earn as he is self employed!!!
It makes me so mad when she can afford all the latest mod cons, i Phones, Kinnect etc, concerts, loads of days out to Alton Towers etc but at the end of the day, she's a fraud & one day it WILL catch up with her. My daugher doesnt go without anything. We have fab days out. We find little farms etc that are cheap entry rather than the most obvious & well known places that cost a fortune. We go out for hours in the fields with the dog. We pack up a little picnic hamper & the world is our oyster.
I dont see any reason why u cant do this. Yes it requires a lot more effort & thought but its honest!
Good luck for your future together.

If you are married (which you are) you don't have to provide council tax and utility bills to claim GYH(T), as this is deemed to be your family home.

Only single people have to provide the 3 part supporting documentation.

Also, it's easier to make an excel spreadsheet with all your incomes and outgoings, as it will do the sums for you.

barnabee

If you love him and he loves you and your son then there's always a way. When I got married there was a married quarters shortage and we had to rent privately. It was a huge struggle but they were happy times.

Weddings are as expensive as you make them. There should be no problem getting married in a church on/near camp and having a reception in the mess.

Getting off the benefits trap is hard at first but at least you are positive by looking to the future. I wish you well and commend your honesty and sensible financial planning.

MrsVS

Fergie76 wrote: »

If you are married (which you are) you don't have to provide council tax and utility bills to claim GYH(T), as this is deemed to be your family home.

Only single people have to provide the 3 part supporting documentation.

Also, it's easier to make an excel spreadsheet with all your incomes and outgoings, as it will do the sums for you.

Maybe its different for different regiments then as this was only Feb/March this year when we applied. At first they said that they'd need council tax statement showing his name plus a utility bill & then they changed it & said they they needed 2 utility bills plus council tax. As the utility bills were in my name only, we had to phone them to add his name but he had to be there as well before they would add him so we had to wait until he was home early enough on a Friday to make the phonecalls to the companies, hence it taking ages to sort out.
Or maybe its because he has a room at camp all week & just comes home at weekends?
Whatever it was, we could NOT make any claim until we had those documents as proof.

Thanks for your tip on spreadsheets but personally I prefer good old fashioned pen & paper

Fergie76

MrsVS wrote: »

Maybe its different for different regiments then as this was only Feb/March this year when we applied. At first they said that they'd need council tax statement showing his name plus a utility bill & then they changed it & said they they needed 2 utility bills plus council tax. As the utility bills were in my name only, we had to phone them to add his name but he had to be there as well before they would add him so we had to wait until he was home early enough on a Friday to make the phonecalls to the companies, hence it taking ages to sort out.
Or maybe its because he has a room at camp all week & just comes home at weekends?
Whatever it was, we could NOT make any claim until we had those documents as proof.

Thanks for your tip on spreadsheets but personally I prefer good old fashioned pen & paper

I think it was just who ever told him does not know the rules, JSP 752 clearly states what I said above. It is only single people who occupy a privately maintained property that need to provide the 3 bits of evidence, married people are deemed to occupy the family home.

This is basically, to stop they young ones that still live with mummy and daddy getting a mock rent book made up and claiming.