Need help to move in with my boyfriend in the army!

reena42

My boyfriend wants to move in with me and my 1 year old son. We plan to get married and apply for army accommodation, but need to do this first as I understand the waiting list can be quite long and he will need to move in with us here while we wait even after we are married.

He would only be with us at weekends and would continue to live on barracks in the week until we can live together in married quarters.

He is a lance corporal and according to benefits calculators we would not get enough working tax credit or housing benefit to make it doable.

I am happy to be careful with money, but on calculation it is impossible rather than just tight. We want to be together and do things properly, but it seems like we would be better off living separately and me continuing to claim income support as a single parent. I will have to come off it anyway when we are married even though we might not be able to live together straight away.

Obviously there are things in the future which will mean more money, such as him getting promotions and me returning to work, but we really want to be married and don't want it to be postponed indefinitely.

So hard to explain it all in brief.
Does any one have any advice? Or could anyone tell me how they managed it themselves?

Andy_L

Does it work if he moves out of the block and you rent together so he's not paying both rent and SLA charges?
As a bonus that would give you a trial living together before getting married

reena42

thank you for replying. The problem is that we live 2 and a half hrs drive from where he is at the moment so he needs to live on barracks in the week and he travels back to us at the weekend.

penguin7

Why are you claiming benefits as a single parent when you clearly are not single?

reena42

Because I was. My boyfriend is not the father of my child. We have got together since then and are now trying to sort things out.

badgerhead

i was a corporal ,the wage aint much more than a lance jack pending on increment level, when i got married to me wife, she had a 2 yr ols from previous. when i married all her benefits stopped, but as i was the head of the family i paid the bills, which is normal for everyone . was 200 miles away from the house so only got to see at weekends. apparantly i coulda claimed some get you home pay or summit i think so you could get him to check that.

next we got a quarter, the difference was i got to live with them proper, and the rent was cheaper.

a few points; you could get childcare and work which i think would give you tax credits of some description, he can get mod childcare vouchers too.
or, just move closer to his barracks and get private accomodation. tbh a lance jacks wage should be able to support a small family unless there is other factors like debts, but it does mean a massive cut in disposable income.but you do learn how to cut spending down too.

i think you can occupy a married quarter up to 6 weeks before the actual wedding so summit else to check.

do you want a quarter because youre getting married, or are you getting married because you want a quarter ? some people might be cycnical of the situation, but if you love each other and want to get married and live together, then tax credits and housing benefits wont come into it.

best of luck to you hope all goes well

angeleyesxx

If you are serious about your boyfriend moving in with you, even if he is only there on a weekend then all your benefits will have to stop as this will be classed as his main residence even though he will be staying on camp during the week. Also how much money do you think you need to live off as i have been a single parent myself a few times over the years firstly with my eldest son and then after the breakup of my first marriage with my then 2 sons and i managed to work part-time at first then as they got older work full-time and pay for all my bills myself. I do understand that it is hard but living on benefits is no life and it is like a ball and chain round your ankle but all it takes is someone you know to shop you to dwp and housing etc for you to loose all this so why not stop all your benefits now and take the plunge?

Otherwise arrange to bring the wedding forward then once you have a date for it, apply for a mq? Sometimes you can get the mq allocated to you 6 weeks or so before the wedding but only your oh will be able to live there until you are married.

I am now married again and my husband is only a private and we now have 2 young kids and 1 income coming in but we make ends meet each month even with the ctc that we get which isnt much but at the end of the day if money is your main concern, you can always get a job and help to pay your way?

Marker_2

What is the rush of marrying, you clearly havent been with your boyfriend that long, and you have a very young son too think about. Marriage is a HUGE commitment, and if you are on income support (which you shouldnt be on if you have a boyfriend that supports and provides for you) then you cant really afford to get married!

Becc4

i think you should think long and hard about moving to an army camp if your thinking about returning to work in the near future as army wives dont really get a fair deal, what with all the moving around etc, also how will you feel when hubby gets post away for 6 months and you are 2 + hours away from all your friends and family. Living on camp is not for everybody, I know I could never live on camp, cheap married quarters or not. We chose to have a married home where I would build up a long term career for when hubby retires in near future and yes he commutes over 2 hours each weekend. Each person, couple has their own reasons for what they do, money is only part of it. hope that helps.

helsee

Marker wrote: »

What is the rush of marrying, you clearly havent been with your boyfriend that long, and you have a very young son too think about. Marriage is a HUGE commitment, and if you are on income support (which you shouldnt be on if you have a boyfriend that supports and provides for you) then you cant really afford to get married!

you dont have to spend much to get married.....

EmmEve

Once you have a date for the wedding you can apply for your MQ. Not everywhere has long waiting lists. You can apply as early as you want although they don't have to process it or allocate straight away. You might be worrying about something that won't even happen! You could get married and have your mq straight away.

No one can live in the MQ before you are married although they will often let you have the keys up to two weeks before to move all your stuff in.

If he officially moves in with you once married i think he might be entitled to get you home pay or something, but i'm not familiar with it tbh.