How would you react?

fannyanna

I think that she didn't think there'd be any harm as you have such a close relationship.

Personally I would forget it but if she did it again I would make a joke (like nosey parker) to try and make it clear that I was unhappy but without being direct - as I'm a scardey cat and hate any form of conflict lol

[Deleted User]

Also because i was unsure if my husband had asked her to open the letter, i felt at the time it was best not to saying anything and once i had found out that he hadnt, the moment had passed.

If it had been just me in the house and it had happened i would have felt like saying something at the time, again friendly but to the point.

Like i say, its done, not worth upsetting a friendship and it was only jabs not too private stuff. I know her intention was to be helpful but it was just a step too far.

jetta_wales

Odd but not a big deal she probably thought nothing of it.

puddy

the problem is, that if people live in each others pockets, there are few boundaries, so even though there is no clarity on boundaries, there are still some left, such as this for you,,, but obviously not for her.

thats why im sure people think im stand offish, i dont live like that but its horses for courses, there are disadvantages to both types of lifestyle, in this case boundaries have disappeared and now one of you is uncomfortable with it

Hectors_House

For them to have done that they must feel very comfortable with you and in your home but it's still not right.

In this instance, I can see they might think it OK as the mail was of the type sent out to all parents IYKWIM.

If they had opened your bank statement for instance that would be right off.

I think I'd let this one go but bear it in mind if they do it again and then have a word.

Jesswithwings

How odd - I dont even like opening my husbands mail. I think I'd let it go this time but if she did it again I'd say something like "since you're comfortable enough to look at my private mail, perhaps you wouldnt mind cleaning the loo for me while you're here?"

[Deleted User]

Maybe that's the problem Jess, i'm often cleaning her loo! Lol. I think people's comments are spot on with overfamiliarity and boundaries etc. I guess i'm quite a welcoming person and like people to feel at home in my house, but obviously i have my limits too.

Jesswithwings

Deleted_User wrote: »

Maybe that's the problem Jess, i'm often cleaning her loo! Lol. I think people's comments are spot on with overfamiliarity and boundaries etc. I guess i'm quite a welcoming person and like people to feel at home in my house, but obviously i have my limits too.

You could be my friend, and come over and clean my loo?! I'd even let you open the post

Its hard to get the balance isnt it? I have friends who let themselves into my house, make a brew, find food etc but there are some things that are unspoken no-nos.. post opening is one. I think you'll either have to be blunt or casually joke the next time she does it. The offer still stands by the way :rotfl:

pigpen

I'd have asked what she a writing on my calendar and then told her to ring and cancel as I don't do vaccs... lol...

Next time she comes round... run round to the the front of the house.. put your gas/electric bill through the letter box.. if you are lucky she will open it and pay it!

j.e.j.

I can only say I would be hopping mad if someone opened my mail! (even close friends or relatives). I can't think why she would do that, - very odd, as other posters have said.
She was either being socially inept or there's something more sinister.. hopefully it's the former