HELP - GOING UNDER!!! VERY LONG POST - sorry

vindalooloo

Long story as to why were in debt. We've always been what you might call poor, but circumstances over the last 2 years or so (business failing / low wages / living on credit because income too low) has brought us to crisis point.

Until about 14 months ago we have never had a credit card, but because hubby wanted a new car (when the old one was perfectly fine / relatively new but without 'street cred') we took out a loan and used our tiny bit of savings to buy it. We paid the loan back very quickly to pay as little interest as possible, however to do this we then had to take out a CC to pay our 'everyday' things with. (In hindsight it would have been better to have just paid loan back over longer period!).

However, we already had a loan from 2 years previously (£5000 - with £3000 still left to pay on it) which we took out when my business got ropey and husband was out of work for 4 months. The loan was simply for living on :-( Were not, and never have been frivolous, our debt comes from circumstances / cost of living unfortunately - not lavish or extravagant spending / purchases.

Since then till now things have got progressively worse, basically because we live in a seaside town and work is very scarce / menial / National Minimum Wage. When my little business finally finished I managed to get a part time job in a shop but as you can see my wage and hubby's together is still very low.

I am fortunate in that I have secured a second job which starts in January which will top my 85 quid a week current earnings. Trouble is even adding that on (See SOE below) it's STILL incredibly tight. Any unforeseen circumstances, eg car repairs and we're stuffed! We've cut everything to the bone (or rather *I* have - it's more difficult getting him and daughter to tow the line!) but although we don't have arrears on anything (yet) our most pressing problem is the overdraft which simply SWALLOWS up our wages every week / month.

This is making things VERY tight as we have less and less clear balance to juggle with as we edge nearer and nearer to the limit. Last week we literally had to 'steal' our daughters £50 savings to put into our account till Friday so the mortgage wouldn't bounce and land us with a £30 charge! When my wage went in on the Friday we then replaced it (but of course were £50 'down' then.) Spoke to the National Debtline yesterday who advised us to do the 'offer £1 a month' thing to our creditors, but have now discovered that this will shatter our credit rating for 6 years. We've always had a perfect credit history and have had 3 or 4 loans in the past (including this one) which we've managed to pay off.

The other pressing problem is the Tax I owe for last year - it's only a relatively small amount but we just don't have it! It's due by 31st January and have just found out that the revenue doesn't accept CC payments. Where the hell we're gonna get over 300 quid from in one lump God only knows! :-((((

Hubby wants to take out a £7000 loan to 'pay everything off' and start again, but I have refused because we're then going to be about 9 thousand in debt then including interest! We're arguing a LOT about this and the money situation is severely straining our relationship (from my point of view). He doesn't understand that we wouldn't actually be paying anything off!! Also, I don't want to get tied in with him for a further 5 years on a larger loan than we have now when the current loan only has 3 more years to go. If our marriage does crack (highly likely after the stresses and strains of the last few years) I will be deeper in doodoo and tied to him deeper in debt, if you see what I mean. I want to get stuck in and clear everything in the three next years if possible.

Unfortunately he is a 'quick fix' merchant and has never see the bigger picture - he's always been like this.He doesn't *understand* how money / debt / credit / interest works and ONLY looks at 'whether we can afford the repayments'. It makes no difference to him that we would actually be WASTING another 2 grand on interest (That's a world cruise!) Holidays - HA! Haven't had one in 9 years.

Anyway .....

I'm now dithering between the National Debtline thing and slugging it out and juggling things as I have been doing for the foreseeable future. We put our house on the market this year (it was on for about 5 months and although we got viewers we didn't sell as we got so tired of GLOIPS wasting our time). If we sold we could clear everything off of course ... but where would we live? Plus at 46 and 47 a new mortgage would be over a shorter period than current one so higher repayments.

Advice please?

---

S.O.E

My salary - £320
Partners salary - £768
Tax Credits / Child Benefit - £265.28
Shortly to start a 2nd evening job
Approx earnings per month £240

Total - £1,353 currently
(£1593 including new job -
should get first pay around
mid February)

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £397.76
Council Tax - £99
Garage rent - £33
Gas - £55
Electric - £33
TV License - £11.37
Sky £37.00
Phone - £44.00
Mobiles - £60 (mine / hubbys / daughters)
Food / housekeeping - £300
Car Insurance - £22.14
Car Tax - £14.48
Internet £0.00 (talktalk)
Petrol - £150 (hubby works in another town)
Life Insurance £11.41
Buildings / contents - £30.68
Dental / Optical £10
School dinners / busfare £60
Pocket oney for work - hubby £80 - I know, I know!
Pocket money £20 (stopped for last few weeks)
Black Horse £102
Credit card £40
Argos £25

Total: £1,602.84



DEBTS

LOAN - Black Horse – Balance Approx £3,000 £102 per month
CC - MBNA – Balance £1,966
Argos - £240 (interest Free till March)
Overdraft - fluctuates between £800 and £1000 (limit £1,000)
Income Tax for last year - £350
Mother £120

TOTAL DEBT

£6576

Morglin

I would certainly try and pay the tax - could 'mum' wait for a few months so you could do this? if you can't pay them, then contact them - they are often happy to take instalments providing you let them know and don't just ignore the demand.

It might be worth checking out whether you qualify for Council Tax rebate - this depends on a lot of things, so if you want to check it out for yourself on line:

http://www.entitledto.co.uk/

Lin

iwanttosave_2

Do you really need all the mobiles if you have a house phone? Could you not all go on PAYG? This would half that bill if you dont use them too much, )2 do the sim cards with 300 texts a month free for £10.

How far into your sky contract are you? If over 12 months, I would recomend you cancel it, and get a freeview box, or if not, see if you can go on the lowest package possible.

Is it just the 3 of you in the house? £75 a week is a lot to spend on food ect, I have a family of 4 and a dog and I dont spend more than £30 a week and that includes packed lunches, maybe take a trip over to the old style board and see what you can change about your shopping and house keeping bills.

As hubby works far away, could you not sell the car and get one that is a smaller engine, or one more ecconomical? We had a diesel, and OH worked about 15 miles away, and we only used about £10-15 of fuel a week. Even if it only saves you £10 a month, its better in your pocket than the fuel tank.

Oh and give hubby a slap around the head for his pocket money If your daughter is going without, so should he Send him in with packed lunches, and maybe £1 or 2 to get a brew if he has to pay for them.

Well done for posting, and good luck xxx

angchris

mornin!:D nice to see another early bird up n about! lets have a quick shufty over the soa n see if we can save you some pennies;)
any chance of contacting mortgage company and trying to get a better rate? i threatened to leave and they matched the better deal i found for 2 years :T
gas n leccy - get up to date readings and check they dont owe you anything (you never know!) then check out the uswitch site n see if you can get a better deal. when bulbs blow get the energy saving ones and turn things off if not needed;)
sky - any chance of dumping sky and buying a freeview box saving you £37 a month?
phone - before you phone anyone always do it through the call checker link on the left and find the cheapest way to ring.
mobiles - use pay as you go mobiles
food is an easy one to cut down on, check out the money saving old style boards for great cheapo homemade recipes and get cooking from scratch, and make sure you look at the reduced section whilst shopping.
car insurance - again check online for cheapest and maybe drop to 3rd party
petrol - make sure hubby fills up at cheapest garage in town tesco`s n sainsburys are good and make him collect the nectar points towards shopping :T
again get quotes for life insurance and buildings contents
school dinners/bus fare - definately take a packed lunch and can they cycle?
personally i`d slash hubbys pocket money for work (im cruel i know ), make him some really nice sarnies/wraps etc make it clear he cant do this anymore you need his support to help you regain control of finances.
with regards to your debts i`d say ring up black horse and see if you can cancel any payment protection on it, be a card tart keep swapping your mbna card to 0% cards or find a cheap life of balance card and transfer... dont sit there and do nothing about this card as thats what they want to keep the interest coming in each month, fight that debt all the way, dont spend anymore on it cut it up into a trillion pieces and struggle by..it does get easier as time goes by believe me i`ve been there done that :rolleyes: whatever you do dont let hubby get out another loan as you are just increasing the amount owed... easier said than done i know!
personally i wouldnt sell your house as like you said you need to live somewhere and rented accom is a whole lot more expensive... hang on to it with both hands at least you are secure in the fact you have a roof over your head!
i reckon with some carefull budgetting by yourself you should be able to pull through this! with regards to your tax bill i`d suggest putting everything that isnt nailed down on ebay to raise funds, it soon mounts up even 99p here n 99p there helps im sure your daughter must have small clothes etc you can flog. oh yes and one final thing checkout quidco before you buy anything/change suppliers as they can give you cashback on everything you buy which again mounts up.. i have £200 in mine :j
today is a new day make it your job for the next week to try and go through everything with a fine toothcomb, it is a depressing task but with a bit of effort you can make it!! i wish you the best of luck angchris

vindalooloo

Do you really need all the mobiles if you have a house phone? Could you not all go on PAYG? This would half that bill if you dont use them too much, )2 do the sim cards with 300 texts a month free for £10.


Hi,
We're all on PAYG - I've calculated it at five quid each per week :-(


How far into your sky contract are you? If over 12 months, I would recomend you cancel it, and get a freeview box, or if not, see if you can go on the lowest package possible.


Yep - tried to reduce package, but it's sky plus. If we lower package we have to pay an extra £10 a month to record! THey have you by the short and curlies. If it were be I'd bin the thing altogether - 99% of it is rubbish or repeats but HE won't have it! He MUST have his sky (sigh)


Is it just the 3 of you in the house? £75 a week is a lot to spend on food ect, I have a family of 4 and a dog and I dont spend more than £30 a week and that includes packed lunches, maybe take a trip over to the old style board and see what you can change about your shopping and house keeping bills.

Yes, plus a cat. This amount includes cat food / litter and our cleaning / toiletries. We already shop at Aldis.


As hubby works far away, could you not sell the car and get one that is a smaller engine, or one more ecconomical?


Yes - of course the sensible thing. I would have never bought the bleeping thing in the first place. We had a darling little Fiesta with just 20000 miles on the clock. But he nagged and nagged and sulked and sulked till I gave in for a quite life. This is always what happens :-(


We had a diesel, and OH worked about 15 miles away, and we only used about £10-15 of fuel a week. Even if it only saves you £10 a month, its better in your pocket than the fuel tank.


He also drives like a 'boy racer' brooming the thing and that which I think uses more petrol personally.

Oh and give hubby a slap around the head for his pocket money If your daughter is going without, so should he Send him in with packed lunches, and maybe £1 or 2 to get a brew if he has to pay for them.

Yes he has packed lunches 4 days out of 5 but insists on having a proper dinner one day. Apart from this he takes about 3-4 quid to work every day. It's inconceivable to him that he should not have a few quid in his pocket to buy coffee / drinks / chocolate with! I take packed lunches and juice every day - I spend nowt!


Well done for posting, and good luck xxx


THanks :-(

angchris

sounds like a typical man!:rolleyes: dont ya just love em :mad: (i`d best duck now because all the mse men are gonna throw things at me!:o ) maybe its time the pair of you sat down together and have a "business meeting" about finances.if this doesnt get results i find bribary works if you carry on the way you are you will go under, luckily you are at the point when things can still be turned around but it needs the two of you working together as a team.. he needs to have a lightbulb moment too. i`d show him this thread, it might hit home then and make him realise that the changes you want to make are for your future together not because you are trying to nag him to death or to cause arguements but because you are tired of struggling each month and its in both of your interests to do it now.

Dumyat

sounds a lot for the mobiles. couldnt you just not use them for a few months since they are pay as you go.
shopping is quite easy to cut back on. check out money saving old style forum. its all about planning really and looking out for the special deals. have to say I spend less but eat better. much fewer ready meals, only the odd carryout etc.

vindalooloo

ANGCHRIS
mornin! nice to see another early bird up n about!

It's because I literaly can't sleep with the stress and worry! Have to work today too (sigh).Hubby and I 'had words' AGAIN last night about all this and he's in a sulk. Gone off to work this morning and not spoken to me.

any chance of contacting mortgage company and trying to get a better rate?

We're on a fixed, discounted rate, tie in till November, so no :-(

gas n leccy - get up to date readings and check they dont owe you anything (you never know!)

Were in credit £85 on paper with the gas, but that's on estimated bills. Just watch I'll ring in the reading and they will say I've been underpaying - that's usually the case isn't it. But might give them a ring this morning, you never know they MIGHT just owe us something .... but never seems to work out like this :-(

then check out the uswitch site n see if you can get a better deal. when bulbs blow get the energy saving ones and turn things off if not needed

Absolutely - I already do! But again, I'm fighting against husband and daughter that leave every bl*ody light on and them *I'M* the bad guy for nagging them to turn stuff off all the time.

sky - any chance of dumping sky and buying a freeview box saving you £37 a month?

Every chance if it were me! think it's cr*p. I suggested it to him last night and he went into a rage with "In that case we'll sell the telly too. Oh and I'll sell the car shall i? So I'll hand my notice in tomorrow shall I?". Not helpful - very immature.

mobiles - use pay as you go mobiles

We do. Hubby gets those Leeds United match updates every Sat in the season which I think cost a few quid a go (they text him every time someone scores or somethign stupid). This to me is a complete WASTE of money.

food is an easy one to cut down on, check out the money saving old style boards for great cheapo homemade recipes and get cooking from scratch, and make sure you look at the reduced section whilst shopping.

Yep already do. Have started bulk cooking and freezing stuff like Lasagne, Sheperds Pie, Stew, Curry, Chicken Supreme etc. What do I get when I serve them up? Er not Sheperds Pie again! Makes me want to ble*ding scream. I stand there all day batch cooking and it's not appreciated :-(

car insurance - again check online for cheapest and maybe drop to 3rd party

Mmm. It's pretty cheap now though. I have full no claims and it is fully comp for that. I feel it's quite good what we pay.

petrol - make sure hubby fills up at cheapest garage in town tesco`s n sainsburys are good and make him collect the nectar points towards

Yes he goes to Tesco, but he *must* have the 'performance' fuel you see Agghh! Stupid I know.

school dinners/bus fare - definately take a packed lunch and can they cycle?

Yes, packed lunch would do - not cycling though - she's my precious!

personally i`d slash hubbys pocket money for work (im cruel i know ), make him some really nice sarnies/wraps etc make it clear he cant do this anymore you need his support to help you regain control of finances.

Oh heck ..... He's got beautiful sarnies today, a flask of soup, yet he's still gone into my purse and taken £3.50. This is the average he takes every day except the day he has a proper dinner (fish and chips - eyes roll) when he takes a fiver.

He DOESNT / WONT see that this is nearly £80 a month! He also spends a lot on razors (he HAS to have the three blade things apparently cos the others cut him - ahh) and anti P / shaving gel. He won't have generic like I have to make do with. He has to have Gilette or Nivea or something - the dearest! He throws a real paddy when I point out to him that £25 a month on his toiletries adds up to 300 quid a year. He just doesn't GET IT :-( All this penny pinching I am doing and urging him to do is just making him more sulky. Don't know what to do really. :-(

with regards to your debts i`d say ring up black horse and see if you can cancel any payment protection on it,

There's none on it. We've never got near to defaulting on anything before - never needed to take out cover.

be a card tart keep swapping your mbna card to 0% cards or find a cheap life of balance card and transfer... dont sit there and do nothing about this card as thats what they want to keep the interest coming in each month,

Yep. Just been approved a mint card. 0% till Aug 2007 ... BUT it only has credit of £800 on it - this doesn't go anywhere near what's owed on the other card. Bit unsure of what to do about this???

whatever you do dont let hubby get out another loan as you are just increasing the amount owed... easier said than done i know!

I know. If I were 'on my own' this whole thing would be sorted and gone in 18 months. Unfortunately as I am married I have half the responsibility. From my point of view I feel he is most of the problem, but in fairness, no one held a gun to my head at any time and forced me to go along with him so although I feel most of the *blame* is his (especially in not pulling belt in / economising now were at breaking point) in actuality, half the *responsibility* is mine and I accept that. Unfortunately I am on my own trying to sort this thing.

i reckon with some carefull budgetting by yourself you should be able to pull through this! with regards to your tax bill i`d suggest putting everything that isnt nailed down on ebay to raise funds,

Done it already. Absolutely not a bean left to sell :-((

best of luck angchris

Thanks :-)

lynzpower

Ok well I agree with Albertross completely.

Every payment that you make for non-essential items is making the debt exten for longer and making you skinter.

It seems you need your OH to come and look at this, maybe the advice here might just sink in?

To be frank with you if you solds your house, is renting somewhere else going to be cheaper? Only your mortgage is very low?

Mortgage/Rent - £397.76
Council Tax - £99 ( you are on a fairly low income have you asked about Council tax bvenefit you might be entitled)
Garage rent - £33 ( whats tihs for?)
Gas - £55 (seems high.is your boiler lagged, drafts excluded, check out https://www.saveenergy.co.uk, turn heating down, put a jumper on)
Electric - £33 ( same website, have you got energy saving LBsetc?)
TV License - £11.37
Sky £37.00 ( cancel this, regardless of excuses, this is a luxury that is increasing your debt)
Phone - £44.00 ( break this down for us, seems expensive?)
Mobiles - £60 (mine / hubbys / daughters) ( do you really use 5er credit a week each?)
Food / housekeeping - £300 ( you could shave this down a bit)
Car Insurance - £22.14 ( is this the cheapest)
Car Tax - £14.48
Internet £0.00 (talktalk)
Petrol - £150 (hubby works in another town) ( is he getting petrol at tescos so that this will go towards clubcard vouchers can be used towards your shop every little helps)
Life Insurance £11.41 ( cheapest?)
Buildings / contents - £30.68 ( this seems high. Im sure you can get cheaper tan this, shop around use quidco)
Dental / Optical £10
School dinners / busfare £60 ( take packups, and can kids get a buscard? or can dad take them any journeys?)
Pocket oney for work - hubby £80 - I know, I know! ( nice idea, but simply he cant afford it)
Pocket money £20 (stopped for last few weeks) how old are daughters can they get part time jobs, paper rounds etc?
Black Horse £102
Credit card £40
Argos £25

just a few thoughts there.

goo luck
lynz

vindalooloo

MORGLIN
I would certainly try and pay the tax - could 'mum' wait for a few months so you could do this?

Oh yes - she's in no hurry it just buggs me that I should still be cadging off my poor 78 year old Mum.

if you can't pay them, then contact them - they are often happy to take instalments providing you let them know and don't just ignore the demand.

Oh I see.

It might be worth checking out whether you qualify for Council Tax rebate - this depends on a lot of things, so if you want to check it out for yourself on line:

No we don't - I already checked. You've got to be on, like, really really low income.

---

ALBERTROSS

To be blunt, it sounds like the husband needs to grow up, before the debt kills the marriage.

That's how I see it, but during our arguments from time to time he has always said ' I won't 'give you' a divorce'. He's the sort of bloke who it would be difficult to get away from .. withough hassle. The money worries HAS affected the marriage VERY significantly from my point of view.

Also, apparently I 'always dig up the past' but it's 'the past' that's got us to where we are now! (For example, in 12 years of marriage we've had approx 9 different cars - plus 2 company cars. He 'lost' both jobs that had cars provided. This has always bugged me. He's always had his cars but I walk round with holes in my shoes and Oxfam clothing.

BTW he just bought 2 Deville T shirts from the states, a Russion watch and a new mobile for Christmas. What did I get? A a pair of £9.99 shoes from Shoezone (cheap shop). That's the long and short of how *I* see our relationship. However he sees it totally different of course. (Two sides to every story and all that). He denies that's how it is - he says I am just as much to blame as he is. I'm not! I have just as much responsibility for the debts as him, but less of the blame if you add up spending over the years

No-one needs sky - it is a luxury.

And it's cr*p!

15 years ago mobile phones weren't around, and amazingly people managed to live. It might only be £15/week, but it's £15 you don't really have, £780/pa.

Yeah - looking at it like that.

Is the garage essential?

It is really - we're in a controlled parking zone just one street back from the sea, so there's never anywhere to park. Also the car is 'sporty' we wouldn't want anyone taking a fancy to it or damaging it.

Do everything you can do to pay the tax on time, otherwise you will get hit with fines, and interest. Sell stuff, cancel xmas.

Mmm.

You need to make the OH face up to the reality of the situation, and play his part in the reductions, and solution.

Easier said than done innit :-(

iwanttosave_2

Aww vindaloo, sounds like hubby needs a good clout

I can understand how you feel though, we are having to work to a tight budget at the moment, and trying to get OH to tow the line isn't always easy. And can also be very frustrating.

Have you wrote down your SOA and showed it to him? You need to make him see that his spending is meaning you are struggling. You really need to get tough with him, tell him that the leeds stuff has to go, he has to choose between warm food in his families bellies, or finding out something he can find out for free on teletext, or one of the 900 football channels sky has which he is insisting on keeping.

Next time he complains about selling the car, or the TV just put on a smile, and say "perfect, we can have the money for a lovely corsa/fiesta/robin reliant I have seen on ebay, and with the rest we can pay off some debt and have a little left over for a treat for us all"

Really crack the whip with him (might not work if he is into that sort of thing (oo err missus;))) but you need to get it through to him how important it is that he stops throwing money away.