Waiting for a proposal - how did you stay sane?!

heartbreak_star

arbrighton wrote: »

He could buy a silver ring for a fiver if he really wanted to marry you. And registry office to get wed

Depends on what you both want though

HBS x

arbrighton

well if the goal is to be married, I'd go that route if that's what he asked me with

PrettyKittyKat

arbrighton wrote: »

He could buy a silver ring for a fiver if he really wanted to marry you. And registry office to get wed

But that isn't what I want, which he is aware of as we have openly discussed it many times.


We both agree I am wearing the ring for life so we want it to be something I love (if that happens to be a £5 ring so be it but I can't say I have seen one in that price range I love yet!).


And for me part of the whole experience is sharing a day with my wonderful friends and family creating memories that last a lifetime. I love events that bring families together as I have a wonderful family and group of friends and cherish moments like this with them. I would regret rushing into something for the sake of it and not having those memories with my loved one.


Different people like different things but my OH knows me well and knows what would make me smile not just on the day but in 35 years time

arbrighton

I love my (now) husband and was so fed up by the time he eventually did ask (we'd been together nine years by that point), i'd have accepted anything if it meant he wanted to marry me and be with me and would wear it for the rest of my days too.

Do you want a marriage or a wedding? Sorry to be blunt but it doesn't seem obvious.

PrettyKittyKat

arbrighton wrote: »

I love my (now) husband and was so fed up by the time he eventually did ask (we'd been together nine years by that point), i'd have accepted anything if it meant he wanted to marry me and be with me and would wear it for the rest of my days too.

Do you want a marriage or a wedding? Sorry to be blunt but it doesn't seem obvious.

Both


(apparently this message was too short to send on its own so had to add some more text haha)

arbrighton

If he turned round now and said, I don't have anything except this keyring and I just want to be married but don't have the money for anything except reg office, what would you do?

PrettyKittyKat

arbrighton wrote: »

If he turned round now and said, I don't have anything except this keyring and I just want to be married but don't have the money for anything except reg office, what would you do?

If that was true, that circumstances at the time meant that we had absolutely no money at all and that was the only option available to us for the foreseeable future then we would get married. However it would still be a wonderful occasion shared with family to the budget we could afford at the time - so still a wedding. A friend got married with very little cash, reg office then on to a small pub with a small buffet for those that came to ceremony - and it was still a lovely and wonderful wedding which I look on fondly because of the love they shared with their friends and family. However this ISN'T our situation and therefore settling for something just so we can do it NOW rather than in a few months time and therefore regret it in years to come isn't something we need to do. We are fortunate to have time (although we shall not be waiting 9 years!) and disposable income to be able to save for the day we want. Different things work for different people and are right for different people.


Do you hold some resentment for people that don't get so fed up of waiting they will take whatever they can get? I find your persistence into why myself and my partner wish to have a wonderful start to our marriage surrounded by family and friends so intriguing?

cashewnut

Everyone should have the wedding they want, within their means that is!

I think arbrighton's point is that this is the "waiting for a proposal, how did you stay sane?" thread when maybe you could have a proposal if you compromised on the wedding? Otherwise surely you'd be happy to wait? Sorry if I've got that wrong though

arbrighton

cashewnut wrote: »

Everyone should have the wedding they want, within their means that is!

I think arbrighton's point is that this is the "waiting for a proposal, how did you stay sane?" thread when maybe you could have a proposal if you compromised on the wedding? Otherwise surely you'd be happy to wait? Sorry if I've got that wrong though

Pretty much and that a proposal/ wedding isn't the ultimate goal here- it's a marriage and life together, surely? And god, I waited long enough. And he didn't propose one year as he couldn't find the right ring then bloody told me so when I got a bit upset that is brother and then GF got engaged etc. And then I found the box with the ring by accident while we were on holiday (and he made me wait another two days!)

webitha

I feel like the only one getting depressed when yet another invite arrives
Been together 3years and everyone seems to be getting engaged & wed before me. Don't get me wrong I love OH with every fibre of my being but when he says that everyone seems to be getting married these days and that he when he wed his first wife he had met moved in and married her within 16 months because it felt right... I'm like huh cheers

Then he said the wrong words to me "I would marry you tomorrow if I could"
All 4 of my exes have said that never proposed and married the next person they dated, I feel like that guy good luck chuck lol, so i suppose the next woman he dates if we split willbe a very lucky woman

Its not fair I don't want to die a spinister