sick of being stuck in a housing rut!

abi-em-mum83

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

DLA isn't an out of work benefit; many people receive it and work part/full time.

I understand that, however at the moment I am unable to leave the house most days and along with other issues unable to work. I took a job on, however they were very unhappy that I was "under the influence" despite telling them at the interview I have to take 3 types of pain medication and a muscle relaxant every day. The lift broke and I was made to climb up 12 flights a stairs quite a few times in a day. In the end my back went in to total spasm, I couldnt move and they called an ambulance, who in turned had to call a doctor to administer a large dose of morphine, just so they could get me moved. When I returned to work I was told they were dismissing me (was during the probationary period) as there were "drug issues" (necessary pain medication) and a risk assessment showed the job wasnt suitable for me. I was a blimmin receptionist, not like I was lifting heavy goods.
I dont even know if I will receive dla yet! When applying to ESA I was told I would be better off with DLA, and the advisor at welfare rights also agreed its the best option for the situation. Ive never claimed benefits before so Im a bit clueless and just acting on advice from others.

superbabe612

Hi, I'm very sorry for your situation and even sorrier for some of the judgemental comments posted on here.
You mention paying maintenance for your partner's children yet they share a room with your children? Do they live with you full time or just stay over? Is the maintenance a private agreement or through CSA? Your partner could be entitled pay a reduced rate depending on how many nights a week they sleep at your house, plus your hardship may be considered when calculating his assessment. If it's a private arrangement, could you arrange to lower payments until you find out what disability benefits you're eligible for? I'm not suggesting trying to avoid paying maintenance (far from it, I've not received any maintenance for my children for years!), but since your OH's children need supporting when they live/stay at your house, the support isn't needed by the other parent.

Could you lower the HP payments for your OH's car? Either by extending the term or trading it in for a cheaper model - of course you still need a reliable car, but having a car that's 5 years older than your current one could make a a bit of a dent in your commitments.

Just a couple of thoughts, sorry if they're not appropriate!

abi-em-mum83

superbabe612 wrote: »

Hi, I'm very sorry for your situation and even sorrier for some of the judgemental comments posted on here.
You mention paying maintenance for your partner's children yet they share a room with your children? Do they live with you full time or just stay over? Is the maintenance a private agreement or through CSA? Your partner could be entitled pay a reduced rate depending on how many nights a week they sleep at your house, plus your hardship may be considered when calculating his assessment. If it's a private arrangement, could you arrange to lower payments until you find out what disability benefits you're eligible for? I'm not suggesting trying to avoid paying maintenance (far from it, I've not received any maintenance for my children for years!), but since your OH's children need supporting when they live/stay at your house, the support isn't needed by the other parent.

Could you lower the HP payments for your OH's car? Either by extending the term or trading it in for a cheaper model - of course you still need a reliable car, but having a car that's 5 years older than your current one could make a a bit of a dent in your commitments.

Just a couple of thoughts, sorry if they're not appropriate!

Hi thanks for your reply, always nice to get some ideas and a friendly reply!
Our car is was the cheapest 7 seater we could get, in fact we'd probably be better off getting a better model as we are shelling out for repairs and its a gas guzzler! I will speak to my other half about extending his hp, although I dont think it would give us enough to rent somewhere privately
As for my stepdaughters my partner has equal parental rights, they stay here approx 3 nights a week and he shares holidays. They have an agreement between them for maintenence which galls me. Neither his ex or her boyfriend work, they live in a nice private rent yet dont pay a penny for it,they've just bought a 3d tv and a new sofa, yet his daughters dont see a penny of the money he gives, they never have age or weather appropriate clothes,we bought school shoes for the eldest from Clarks yet she took them back and got a refund and kept the money. She has never worked a day in her life and are having a planned for baby because (and I quote) "I'd have to go back to work and lose benefits since *child* has started school"!! We buy them clothes and shoes as required and keep them here, as well as paying the maintenence. What he pays is less than he would through CSA, but he is reluctant to lower maintenence at the moment as we are hoping to start applying to court for full custody this year (there are serious concerns of physical abuse,drug issues and neglect) and wants to show the court that he is able to support them etc.

Oldernotwiser

abi-em-mum83 wrote: »

I dont even know if I will receive dla yet! When applying to ESA I was told I would be better off with DLA, and the advisor at welfare rights also agreed its the best option for the situation. Ive never claimed benefits before so Im a bit clueless and just acting on advice from others.

I think that you have misunderstood the advice.

Although you may not be eligible for eother, it's perfectly normal to claim ESA and DLA at the same time, although the criteria are different. You may not be able to work but that does not mean that you are eligible for DLA which is based on care and/or mobility needs. ESA is the out of work benefit but you need to either have paid the appropriate contributions or the benefit is means tested.

Hope this clarifies the situation.

terryw

Abi,

I have read through the thread and certainly wish you a bit of luck.

I have sometimes seen adverts in newsagents' windows and local classifieds (perhaps even certain web sites) along the lines of - "council exchange wanted from two bedroomed maisonette Sunnytown to 3/4 council dwelling Snowtown removal expenses up to £x paid"
This might be worth a try to attempt to obtain an exchange.

bw anyway

jenhug

try www.entitledto.co.uk and www.dialuk.info for help and advice.
would social services not be able to push for either adaptations to the flat or help you be moved to more suitable accomodation? Good luck with everything. One thing you could consider is party plan, although you might think this is impossible, my friend has a disability and a full time job and fits it in, she does party lite, via a party in a bag (she delivers a bag filled with catalogues order forms special offer leaflets and scent samplers) which hostesses show their friends over the course of a month, and she collects order back in from customer at end of the month, and gets comission. something to think about.

abi-em-mum83

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I think that you have misunderstood the advice.

Although you may not be eligible for eother, it's perfectly normal to claim ESA and DLA at the same time, although the criteria are different. You may not be able to work but that does not mean that you are eligible for DLA which is based on care and/or mobility needs. ESA is the out of work benefit but you need to either have paid the appropriate contributions or the benefit is means tested.

Hope this clarifies the situation.

Thank you so much for your reply. As you can probably tell I am completely clueless about benefits etc! When I called Job Centre for benefits advice they said in the situation I would be better off claiming DLA as its ongoing and I need help,i cant get a shower unless partner is thre to help and on the worst days he has to take days off work as I cant move, and also the mobility element (was told I may be eligible for mobility car but have no idea what thats all about). I didnt realise I should be claiming for ESA as well! I think sometimes when you phone to claim for benefits they assume you've done it before,know the system and know what your entitled to.
Thanks again for your advice. Im wondering if its worth braving my local citizens advice to get an idea what I should be claiming, if theres any help and any light on the housing situation!
Thanks again for your reply xxx

jenhug

there should be a benefits advisor at your local council, but definitely try Dial as well. When you phone the job centre about benefits they never advise you about other benefits that you may be entitled to. I have no idea why.

Pupnik

So sorry to hear about your situation, and your OH's ex-partner just makes me so angry! I can't stand people putting their own desires before their children! I really hope that your OH gets full custody for them- as presumably his ex is getting a nice hand out for them alongside your OH's payments.

I think looking into what you are entitled to in terms of benefits should be your priority. Benefits are a great thing for thing for those people that need them (sadly abused and given a bad name by the likes of your OH's ex!)

moomaa

Sorry I don't have much advice about your housing situation but I wanted to sympathise about the pain you are in. I had a very similiar problem but I wanted to tell you that very slowly it did get better. I had regular accupuncture (free from the GP) and that helped the pain a bit and helped me feel more mobile. The physio and exercises did do some good, I think you need the right physio though. The best thing for me, once I was good enough to get out the house was pilates. The teacher took one look at me and moved my body into a different posture and immediately I felt a small amount of relief. With regular pilates I slowly got better enough to start living life again. 4 years on I am still aware that side of my body is 'not right' and am sometimes in pain, but it is all manageable. Good luck, I hope you get better too.